am for you,” he whispered, testing the words out.
They resonated within him, and he found himself yearning for her even more. He shook his head, as though he could shake off the feelings. He told himself that they were likely brought on by the stress of the night. He had been hunted. He had done some hunting of his own. He had a sense of responsibility to Gillian. Those were rational things. They comforted him, or at least they did until Gillian thrashed in her sleep.
“No, no, I don’t want to see this,” she murmured unhappily.
She went still again. Just when Shayne started to relax however, she sat straight up, staring at nothing in the darkness.
“No, please,” she cried.
The sound she made was a cross between a groan and a sob, a sound so pitiful it was enough to break his heart. He reached to touch her shoulder, to guide her back down to the pallet, but she moved faster. With a snake’s instincts, she latched onto his hand, holding it tightly. She was like a blind person searching for a guiding hand.
He looked down at her bare hand on his.
It had been easy to overlook the gloves. He had thought that it must be an affectation, or that she was cold. Or perhaps she was hiding scarring, or some kind of mark. Instead, her hand on his looked entirely natural, slender with fingers that were long and lovely. But her bare hand was clamped so hard on his that her tendons stood out.
“Shh, it’s all right,” Shayne murmured, covering her hand with his. “It’s all right. There’s nothing here that’s going to hurt you. I swear, I’ll protect you. I’ll protect you, I will.”
Her face turned towards him. Though her eyes were open, there was a glassiness to them that told him that she wasn’t really seeing him.
“Do you promise?” she whispered intently. “Do you swear?”
“Oh Gillian, I do,” he said. He had never meant anything more in his life. “I do swear. Nothing will harm you. Nothing will touch a hair on your head.”
She relaxed slowly by degrees. Finally, her punishing grasp on his hand released. She still looked miserable, but it was more utter weariness than actual pain.
“Go to sleep,” he said after a moment. “When you wake up, I’ll be here.”
She actually managed a smile at that, faint and wistful. Suddenly, Shayne wanted nothing more than to find everyone who had ever hurt her and destroy them.
“All right,” she whispered. “All right.”
She fell back down to the pallet. It was different this time, however. It looked like slumber, not the drained unconsciousness he had seen before.
Shayne glanced up at the night sky. The stars above were brilliant and gorgeous. He knew he would see them spin across the heavens before he could sleep. He settled in for a long wait. Once in a while, he reached down to touch Gillian’s hair, making her whisper softly in her slumber.
• • • • •
Gillian was aware of being angry. She was furious. She was poor, she was hungry, she was always in pain. There was a red beast that lived inside her, and sometimes, when she wasn’t careful, it would slip its leash. Then terrible things would happen. Though she might have said that it was an accident, that she was ‘sorry, sorry, sorry’ she never was. She lived for the moments when the red beast could be released.
She was so angry, all the time. Perhaps there had been other emotions at one point, but the anger pushed them all out of the way. There was only the anger. Sometimes the anger allowed hate or fear a little room to breathe, but most of all, she was the anger.
Gillian caught hurried glimpses of a life that she was only partially sure wasn’t her own. There was a shaved head in a broken mirror. She saw an enormous dog, snarling and kept on a chain all of its ugly life. She saw the face of a frightened brown girl. She saw a desert sky that was lit up with fire. She knew that her body was big and tough. It had been honed, but then it had been thrown away. She knew what
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