Read Online Polly Pippin and The Tunnel of Death by Sarah Godwin Winter - Free Book Online Page B

could with it. He was dressed in a kilt, and hanging in
front of it was a very lavish sporran, which also contained a
proboscis. He stood on a dozen or so thin little pink legs. All the
legs had white knee-length socks, and on his feet were big, chunky
brown brogues. Apart from sitting in the tree outside Byzantine
Crescent eating leaves, he loved to do the Highland fling.
    'We need your help, Brad.' Harry said, and
picked him up as if he were a feather.
    Brad cringed, moving as far away as he could
from the grotesque vision in front of him. 'What do you want from
me? I'm just an actor.'
    'Really! And I thought you were an Honorary
Rebel.'
    'Of course not. I'm on your side.'
    'And whose side am I on?' Harry said, as the
Liddles stood by his side, teeth bared.
    'I don't know. I'll just be on your side.
Look, I'm rich, very rich. How much do you want? I'll give you
anything, just let me go back home.'
    'You don't have a home anymore, Brad, the
Rebels have moved in. In any case, ye'll be safer with me. Your
friends the Rebels are not very happy with you.'
    'Why? What have I done?'
    'It's what ye haven't done.' Harry poked him
again with his proboscis.
    'I'll do anything you say. Just don't hurt
me, and if you do, anywhere but the face.'
    'Good boy.' Harry flashed a smile. 'Now
you're going back to your studio as if nothing has happened. The
girls are throwing a party, and ye're going to show up just out of
the blue.'
    'Yes, yes, anything you say.' Tears were
running down Brad's face.
    'Ye are going to help us track down the Zen
Rebels Event and Salute. Are they your friends?'
    'No, no,' Brad insisted. 'I was just going
along with it, just for a bit of fun,' he finished weakly.
    'Good, then you won't mind eliminating them,
will ye? What do ye think, Liddles? Poison in the tea? Or snakes in
the bed maybe?' Harry said.
    Brad nearly fainted. This can't be
happening, he thought. 'Oh God, I'm just an actor,' he said.
    'Yes yes, ye've already told us that. Brad,
this is going to be the best and probably the last performance of
your life, and no one will be there to see it.'
    'Other than us,' said the Liddles.
    'So we're all set. Tomorrow is going to be
one hell of a day. Ye can stay with us, and we'll arrive at the
girls' party together. In the meantime, let's go,' said Harry.
'It's getting chilly, and this ditch is damp.'
    A whoosh, bang and flash, and they were
gone.
    The Dark Universe rears its ugly head
    Commander Rekrap thought the celebrations
for the capture of Earth were not only premature, but they were
also out of hand. As much as he tried to call order, no one took
any notice of him. Even his top captains were drunk as skunks.
Wine, women and song were the order of the day.
    'Sod it,' he said. 'I'm not going to put up
with this a moment longer.' And he called his most loyal Captain to
his side.
    'Get ready, Bean. Get our most powerful
weapons together. We are going to Earth,' he commanded. 'We will
win this war on our own.'
    'But Sir, the High Overlord said to wait
till we captured Byzantine Crescent.' As soon as Captain Bean had
said it, he wished he could bite off his tongue.
    'I don't care what the high and mighty
bloody overlord says. And as for you, Captain Bean, you are within
an inch of being sent to…'
    'Yes Sir. Of course Sir. Stupid high
overlord. Whatever you say, Sir. You are always right, Sir.'
    'Well, you may have redeemed yourself a
little, Bean, but just remember you are treading on very thin
ice.'
    'Yes Sir. Is there anything I can do for
you, Sir? Anything at all?' Captain Bean was crawling up everything
he could think of.
    'No. And for the Devil's breath's sake.'
    'Yes Sir. What, Commander Rekrap Sir?'
    'SHUT UP!' The Commander stood. 'Not a
moment to lose Bean. I fancy a holiday.' He straightened his tunic.
'On with the Motley,' he sang. 'Ha ha. These Earthbeings are so
sentimental, don't you just love it?'
    He strode out of the Hall of Celebration
humming the song, got onto the universal probe and sat