Read Online Pink Snowbunnies in Hell: A Flash Fiction Anthology by Debora Geary, Nichole Chase, Nathan Lowell, Barbra Annino, T. L. Haddix, Camille Laguire, Heather Marie Adkins, Julie Christensen, A. J. Braithwaite, Asher MacDonald - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Debora Geary, Nichole Chase, Nathan Lowell, Barbra Annino, T. L. Haddix, Camille Laguire, Heather Marie Adkins, Julie Christensen, A. J. Braithwaite, Asher MacDonald
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own heart. Jamie grinned. “Nat says the baby’s going to sleep in our bed when she’s born, so we can keep her nice and warm.”
Aervyn shook his head. “Nuh, uh. She’s a fire witch. She’ll keep you nice and warm.”
All the more reason to keep the baby close at night. She wouldn’t be the first witchling infant to cause magical trouble while she slept. God knows his four-year-old sidekick had caused plenty of mischief as a newborn.
Jamie swiped one of his nephew’s fries. “I remember when you were a baby and you kept teleporting your sisters into bed with you.”
Aervyn giggled and ported his remaining fries to an unknown location. “That’s cuz Mama was too heavy to move when I was a baby. I can do it now, but she says it’s bad manners to port someone unless they ask first, so I don’t get to do it very often.”
There were good reasons his sister Nell wasn’t fond of teleporting. Jamie ruffled Aervyn’s hair. “I think that’s because of some of the things that happened when we were little.” An accidental visit to Chinatown came to mind. Nell hadn’t been impressed that she’d taken the trip in her pink-bunny jammies, or that he hadn’t been able to reverse the spell and get them home.
Aervyn shrugged, materialized a fry, and popped it into his mouth. “So what about our mission? Mama says I’m a’posed to be a good helper, and make sure you don’t get dis-trac-ted. What does that mean?”
Jamie laughed. “It means she’s worried I’m going to take a detour to the computer store.”
After a moment of serious contemplation, Aervyn shook his head. “I don’t think a new baby needs a computer.”
Probably right. If there was any karma in the world, his daughter would be a coder like her daddy, but that might have to wait a few years.
“Let’s go to the store.” Aervyn jumped up. “I think you’re supposed to look at stuff when you shop, not just sit and think.”
The kiddo had a point. Jamie eyed the store across the street with trepidation. It was so… pink. And frilly. He looked down at his nephew and acknowledged that maybe he’d borrowed the wrong kid. Nine-year-old girls were probably better at this kind of stuff, but they got all gooey in baby stores.
On the other hand, Aervyn thought it was perfectly okay that Jamie still didn’t have a gift for the baby shower. The triplets would have skewered him.
They walked into the store and the saleslady immediately pounced. Aervyn was only too happy to answer her questions. “We need the bestest baby gift ever.”
“For a boy or girl?”
“Girl. But she might like boy stuff, too, cuz she’s gonna play with me a lot, and I mostly like boy stuff.”
Jamie was pretty sure the saleslady didn’t approve of girls and boys mixing like that. She looked up at him, perhaps hoping for moral support. “We have a lovely princess-themed ensemble, including exclusive extras like frilled diaper covers and a baby tiara. The perfect gift for a very special girl.”
Pink snowbunnies would ski in hell, first. “Anything in the non-princess vein?”
Aervyn beelined for the back corner of the store. The saleslady sniffed. “That’s our boy-themed gift selection.”
Jamie looked around at the choices. Not themed around any boys he knew. He reached out and flipped over the tag on a vaguely Art Deco bug thing that said music player. Music was good for babies. Holy crap. Five hundred dollars? He looked at the saleslady in disbelief. “Does it do something besides play music?”
Hell was definitely well on its way to freezing. “It creates an ambience. Infants appreciate a calm, well-decorated space. You can’t put a price tag on your baby’s happiness.”
Nope, but he could definitely put a price tag on his sanity. He paged his sidekick. Dude—let’s head out. I’ve got an idea.
Aervyn thought the fire-engine-red
Aervyn shook his head. “Nuh, uh. She’s a fire witch. She’ll keep you nice and warm.”
All the more reason to keep the baby close at night. She wouldn’t be the first witchling infant to cause magical trouble while she slept. God knows his four-year-old sidekick had caused plenty of mischief as a newborn.
Jamie swiped one of his nephew’s fries. “I remember when you were a baby and you kept teleporting your sisters into bed with you.”
Aervyn giggled and ported his remaining fries to an unknown location. “That’s cuz Mama was too heavy to move when I was a baby. I can do it now, but she says it’s bad manners to port someone unless they ask first, so I don’t get to do it very often.”
There were good reasons his sister Nell wasn’t fond of teleporting. Jamie ruffled Aervyn’s hair. “I think that’s because of some of the things that happened when we were little.” An accidental visit to Chinatown came to mind. Nell hadn’t been impressed that she’d taken the trip in her pink-bunny jammies, or that he hadn’t been able to reverse the spell and get them home.
Aervyn shrugged, materialized a fry, and popped it into his mouth. “So what about our mission? Mama says I’m a’posed to be a good helper, and make sure you don’t get dis-trac-ted. What does that mean?”
Jamie laughed. “It means she’s worried I’m going to take a detour to the computer store.”
After a moment of serious contemplation, Aervyn shook his head. “I don’t think a new baby needs a computer.”
Probably right. If there was any karma in the world, his daughter would be a coder like her daddy, but that might have to wait a few years.
“Let’s go to the store.” Aervyn jumped up. “I think you’re supposed to look at stuff when you shop, not just sit and think.”
The kiddo had a point. Jamie eyed the store across the street with trepidation. It was so… pink. And frilly. He looked down at his nephew and acknowledged that maybe he’d borrowed the wrong kid. Nine-year-old girls were probably better at this kind of stuff, but they got all gooey in baby stores.
On the other hand, Aervyn thought it was perfectly okay that Jamie still didn’t have a gift for the baby shower. The triplets would have skewered him.
They walked into the store and the saleslady immediately pounced. Aervyn was only too happy to answer her questions. “We need the bestest baby gift ever.”
“For a boy or girl?”
“Girl. But she might like boy stuff, too, cuz she’s gonna play with me a lot, and I mostly like boy stuff.”
Jamie was pretty sure the saleslady didn’t approve of girls and boys mixing like that. She looked up at him, perhaps hoping for moral support. “We have a lovely princess-themed ensemble, including exclusive extras like frilled diaper covers and a baby tiara. The perfect gift for a very special girl.”
Pink snowbunnies would ski in hell, first. “Anything in the non-princess vein?”
Aervyn beelined for the back corner of the store. The saleslady sniffed. “That’s our boy-themed gift selection.”
Jamie looked around at the choices. Not themed around any boys he knew. He reached out and flipped over the tag on a vaguely Art Deco bug thing that said music player. Music was good for babies. Holy crap. Five hundred dollars? He looked at the saleslady in disbelief. “Does it do something besides play music?”
Hell was definitely well on its way to freezing. “It creates an ambience. Infants appreciate a calm, well-decorated space. You can’t put a price tag on your baby’s happiness.”
Nope, but he could definitely put a price tag on his sanity. He paged his sidekick. Dude—let’s head out. I’ve got an idea.
Aervyn thought the fire-engine-red
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