ungrateful slob, which, of course, is not a news flash.”
“Me, ungrateful? I don’t recall ever hearing you say kiss my foot, much less thank-you,” he shot back. “I came here to help you, babe, if I remember right.”
“Don’t call me babe!”
When the police arrived a few minutes later, we were still arguing. From her expression, Kate was even more thankful than I was for the interruption.
They examined both doors, checked the windows, and started filling out reports. Policeman One convinced Steven that an emergency room visit might be a good idea, but agreed an ambulance wasn’t necessary. Then Policeman Two added his two cents, saying he’d have to be dead or unconscious to ride in an ambulance, since every paramedic he knew drove like a New York cabbie. “Besides,” he added, “everyone bleeds. Doesn’t mean you’re dying.”
They all laughed.
I had to interrupt this conversation before I became seriously nauseated. “Could we delay this meeting of Extra Y Chromosomes Anonymous? A crime was committed here.”
Cop One said, “You talking about the broken lock or the assault?”
“Both,” I said.
“I guess you saw that the back lock was broken, too,” Steven said.
Policeman Two nodded. “I noticed. We’ve had a problem with homeless folks in the area wanting out of the sun. Might have been one of them.” He looked at me. “You didn’t secure the place very well, if you don’t mind me saying. Padlocks aren’t much use. Now, if you kept that dog around, he might work. Dogs are the best theft deterrent going.”
“Thanks so much for providing my law-enforcement lesson of the day,” I said.
Cop Two smiled. “Sorry, ma’am. Didn’t mean to upset you. Our homeless in Galveston are pretty harmless for the most part, but if Mr. Bradley here caught one off guard, the guy might have freaked out.”
“Whoever was responsible, I’d appreciate a thorough investigation,” I said. “A man was murdered on my property this week, and this incident could be connected.”
“Murdered? Here?” said Cop One, finally showing interest.
“No. In Houston.”
He scratched his head. “Who killed him?”
“They haven’t found out yet,” said Kate.
“But you’re not involved, right?” said Cop Two, eyeing me suspiciously.
“Of course she’s not!” piped in Kate.
“Can’t we focus on this crime?” I said. “What about fingerprints? And interviewing the neighbors?”
“We’ll do that, ma’am. But I hope you don’t mind if we communicate with the boys at HPD while we’re at it,” said Cop One.
“Why? Because you think I’m a serial killer who flubbed the job on old Steven here?” I thumbed at my ex, then gave a disgusted wave of my hand. “Call whoever you have to.”
I folded my arms and slumped against the nearest wall. When was the last time I’d been in such a foul mood? Probably when Steven and I were together. Most times I felt like the tail was wagging the dog back then, too.
When I realized Steven’s truck had been parked out back by the garage all along, I felt like an idiot. If I’d bothered to go around to the back door, I would have seen the pickup and been better prepared for what Kate and I found inside.
Kate chauffeured Steven to the hospital in my car, despite his protests that he wanted to drive himself. The two of us had gone a round on that, but the wisdom of his newfound buddies on the police force prevailed, and he begrudgingly allowed Kate the honor. Meanwhile, I took the dog for a potty break.
While Webster took his time finding the perfect spot in the backyard, the forensic crew arrived. When I came back inside, I was relegated to the front room until they finished their job. Cop One had me sign the police report and told me he would let me know if they found the intruder. He and his partner left, and when the forensic crew came downstairs, one of them cheerfully informed me that the culprit had left “a hell of a mess upstairs.”
And
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