Read Online Pianist in the Dark by Michèle Halberstadt - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Michèle Halberstadt
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out of love! If the gossipmongers knew what life was like in the Paradis home, my father would have been stripped of his privileges long ago!”
“That is exactly the other rumor being spread. If you get better, your father will be deprived of the generous annuity the Empress allotted you.”
Maria Theresia laughed bitterly.
“There we go! Barth’s threat is finally being acted out! So let him be deprived of that annuity! Why should money be worth more than my health? My father will not let such rumors be spread because he is the first person sullied by them.”
“Think again! He is terrified at the idea of losing this godsend that has changed your lives for fifteen years now. The taste for this manna is very easy to acquire and very hard to lose. He will never give up his two hundred gold ducats.”
Maria Theresia slid onto the bed and buried her head in the pillows.
“Cursed! I am cursed! My blindness made them suffer and my recovery has made them mad. Even you prefer me ill to cured. Life is so cruel! It allows me to discover passion and harmony, then steals it away as if it were a mirage! What good is seeing if all it does is open your eyes to the truth of human nature? Have I been through all this just to come eye to eye with cowardice, lies, and trickery? To see you run away from me because I’ve become a burden? It is better to die than to be confronted with greedy, wicked men incapable of love!”
She was screaming, banging her head and beating her chest. She let him subdue her, then she collapsed, howling her turmoil.
Mesmer held her against him, ashamed. He knew her words rang true.
She had asked for nothing. She had listened to the doctors, to her father, and now to Mesmer. They had all betrayed her trust.
His sincerity was beyond reproach. But feelings evolve quickly. Depending on circumstances, what was true one minute may no longer be true the next.
Now he was ready to forgo Maria Theresia in order to save his career.
Chapter 20
M ARIA T HERESIA THREW HERSELF INTO HER exercises at the piano. She had removed her blindfold and was rehearsing tirelessly the same movement, a Mozart adagio. Losing her temper, she would rail aloud against her fingers when they hesitated at the keyboard or hit two keys instead of one. She couldn’t separate her eyes from her hands when she was playing; if she was not intrigued by her short fingernails as she struck the black and white keys, she was distracted by the light reflecting off the piano’s polish. She forced herself to act blind by keeping her eyes off the piano and staring at a point in the distance, near the window with its curtains drawn.
She was determined to regain control of the keyboard so as to be able to play for the Empress. She wanted to prove that her talent was intact even if the added allure of her blindness had been lost. She wanted to continue receiving the annuity, not as compensation for a handicap but to make up for the years she had invested in trying to become a world-renowned virtuoso.
Having fully recovered the sight that Barth’s examination had put in jeopardy, she had come to the conclusion that her progress remained extremely fragile because the slightest agitation could send her back into the world of shadows. Informed that her mother wanted to visit her, Maria Theresia responded that the emotions provoked by such a meeting would be harmful to her health. In truth, she had no desire to be confronted with the discomposure of this woman for whom she felt little affection. She had no recollection whatsoever of any tenderness she’d received from a mother who was so decidedly not maternal.
So, when Anna knocked at her door to tell her that she had a visitor in the drawing room, Maria Theresia refused to go, complaining that she had been interrupted in her work and could not be seen in her dressing gown with her face red and her hair uncombed. Rather than giving in to her refusal, however, Anna insisted, arguing that
“That is exactly the other rumor being spread. If you get better, your father will be deprived of the generous annuity the Empress allotted you.”
Maria Theresia laughed bitterly.
“There we go! Barth’s threat is finally being acted out! So let him be deprived of that annuity! Why should money be worth more than my health? My father will not let such rumors be spread because he is the first person sullied by them.”
“Think again! He is terrified at the idea of losing this godsend that has changed your lives for fifteen years now. The taste for this manna is very easy to acquire and very hard to lose. He will never give up his two hundred gold ducats.”
Maria Theresia slid onto the bed and buried her head in the pillows.
“Cursed! I am cursed! My blindness made them suffer and my recovery has made them mad. Even you prefer me ill to cured. Life is so cruel! It allows me to discover passion and harmony, then steals it away as if it were a mirage! What good is seeing if all it does is open your eyes to the truth of human nature? Have I been through all this just to come eye to eye with cowardice, lies, and trickery? To see you run away from me because I’ve become a burden? It is better to die than to be confronted with greedy, wicked men incapable of love!”
She was screaming, banging her head and beating her chest. She let him subdue her, then she collapsed, howling her turmoil.
Mesmer held her against him, ashamed. He knew her words rang true.
She had asked for nothing. She had listened to the doctors, to her father, and now to Mesmer. They had all betrayed her trust.
His sincerity was beyond reproach. But feelings evolve quickly. Depending on circumstances, what was true one minute may no longer be true the next.
Now he was ready to forgo Maria Theresia in order to save his career.
Chapter 20
M ARIA T HERESIA THREW HERSELF INTO HER exercises at the piano. She had removed her blindfold and was rehearsing tirelessly the same movement, a Mozart adagio. Losing her temper, she would rail aloud against her fingers when they hesitated at the keyboard or hit two keys instead of one. She couldn’t separate her eyes from her hands when she was playing; if she was not intrigued by her short fingernails as she struck the black and white keys, she was distracted by the light reflecting off the piano’s polish. She forced herself to act blind by keeping her eyes off the piano and staring at a point in the distance, near the window with its curtains drawn.
She was determined to regain control of the keyboard so as to be able to play for the Empress. She wanted to prove that her talent was intact even if the added allure of her blindness had been lost. She wanted to continue receiving the annuity, not as compensation for a handicap but to make up for the years she had invested in trying to become a world-renowned virtuoso.
Having fully recovered the sight that Barth’s examination had put in jeopardy, she had come to the conclusion that her progress remained extremely fragile because the slightest agitation could send her back into the world of shadows. Informed that her mother wanted to visit her, Maria Theresia responded that the emotions provoked by such a meeting would be harmful to her health. In truth, she had no desire to be confronted with the discomposure of this woman for whom she felt little affection. She had no recollection whatsoever of any tenderness she’d received from a mother who was so decidedly not maternal.
So, when Anna knocked at her door to tell her that she had a visitor in the drawing room, Maria Theresia refused to go, complaining that she had been interrupted in her work and could not be seen in her dressing gown with her face red and her hair uncombed. Rather than giving in to her refusal, however, Anna insisted, arguing that
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