get a little girl all upset about something she canât understand until sheâs much older?â
âRachel, listen.â
But Rachel had no intention of listening. She was blazing. âItâs bad enough to try and cope with a deathâa pet or a friend or a relativeâwhen it happens, without turning it into a . . . a goddam tourist attraction . . . a F-F-Forest Lawn for a-animals . . .â Tears were running down her cheeks.
âRachel,â he said and tried to put his hands on her shoulders. She shrugged them off in a quick, hard gesture.
âNever mind,â she said. âYou donât have the slightest idea what Iâm talking about.â
He sighed. âI feel like I fell through a hidden trapdoor and into a giant Mixmaster,â he said, hoping for asmile. He got none; only her eyes, locked on his, black and blazing. She was furious, he realized; not just angry, but absolutely furious. âRachel,â he said suddenly, not fully sure what he was going to say until it was out, âhow did you sleep last night?â
âOh boy,â she said scornfully, turning awayâbut not before he had seen a wounded flicker in her eyes. âThatâs really intelligent. Really intelligent. You never change, Louis. When something isnât going right, blame Rachel, right? Rachelâs just having one of her weird emotional reactions.â
âThatâs not fair.â
âNo?â She took the bowl of cake batter over to the far counter by the stove and set it down with another bang. She began to grease a cake tin, her lips pressed tightly together.
He said patiently, âThereâs nothing wrong with a child finding out something about death, Rachel. In fact, Iâd call it a necessary thing. Ellieâs reactionâher cryingâthat seemed perfectly natural to me. Itââ
âOh, it sounded natural,â Rachel said, whirling on him again. âIt sounded very natural to hear her weeping her heart out over her cat which is perfectly fineââ
âStop it,â he said. âYouâre not making any sense.â
âI donât want to discuss it anymore.â
âYes, but weâre going to,â he said, angry himself now. âYou had your at-batsâhow about giving me mine?â
âSheâs not going up there anymore. And as far as Iâm concerned, the subject is closed.â
âEllie has known where babies come from since last year,â Louis said deliberately. âWe got her the Myers book and talked to her about it, do you remember that? We both agreed that children ought to know where they come from.â
âThat has nothing to do withââ
âIt does, though!â he said roughly. âWhen I was talking to her in my office, about Church, I got thinking about my mother and how she spun me that old cabbage-leaf story when I asked her where women got babies. Iâve never forgotten that lie. I donât think children ever forget the lies their parents tell them.â
âWhere babies come from has nothing to do with a goddam pet cemetery!â Rachel cried at him, and what her eyes said to him was Talk about the parallels all night and all day, if you want to, Louis; talk until you turn blue, but I wonât accept it.
Still, he tried.
âShe knows about babies; that place up in the woods just made her want to know something about the other end of things. Itâs perfectly natural. In fact, I think itâs the most natural thing in the wââ
âWill you stop saying that!â she screamed suddenlyâreally screamedâand Louis recoiled, startled. His elbow struck the open bag of flour on the counter. It tumbled off the edge and struck the floor, splitting open. Flour puffed up in a dry white cloud.
âOh fuck,â he said dismally.
In an upstairs room, Gage began to cry.
âThatâs
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