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Authors: Melissa Nathan
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closed the door firmly, leant against it and breathed very, very deeply. Deep, calm breaths, she thought. Deep, calm breaths.
Hundreds of new thoughts surfaced in her mind, but Annie knew she had to push them all to the back of it. First and foremost she had to concentrate on getting out of there.
‘Are you all right, dear?’ asked Shirley, suddenly beside her.
Annie rocketed out of her skin. Shit, she wished she wouldn’t do that.
‘Oh yes,’ managed Annie. ‘I’m just,’ she couldn’t catch her breath. ‘Leaving.’
‘I’ll call the lift for you,’ said Shirley, and pressed the button.
Annie stared at the lift. Jake could be in it. Now. On his way up.
The mere thought of him was having a bad enough effect on her body, God only knew what the actual living presence of him would do. She had to avoid him. She could take the stairs but they were usually locked. No one was ever encouraged to use them as they were nowhere near as impressive as the lift. She turned to Shirley.
‘You know what?’ she said, trying to sound relaxed. ‘I think I’m going to take the stairs.’
‘Nonsense, dear,’ instructed Shirley. ‘The lift’s nearly here now.’
Annie smiled. I’ve always hated you, she thought. Now I know why.
She tried to argue, but found she couldn’t. All her energy was taken up pumping the blood round her body that she’d been saving for a special occasion.
Instead of jumping out of the window, which suddenly struck her as a wise and well-prepared plan, Annie forced herself to stay motionless, staring at the monitor above the lift, watching a tiny green cube of light smoothly and slowly ascend.
Ground floor, first, second …
Was it going to be empty, or was she going to find herself face to face with the pillock who’d ruined her finals and her life? The pillock she’d have risked everything for. It was a puzzler and no mistake.
Third, fourth …
‘Are you sure you’re all right, dear?’ asked Shirley. ‘You’re looking awfully pale.’
I’ll show you pale, thought Annie. Large window, five flights up, say your prayers, bitch.
She attempted a smile. ‘I need a holiday,’ she mouthed.
Fifth floor. The lift chimed its arrival and the doors opened noiselessly.
Using up all her energy, Annie turned to face it. It was empty.
She decided that to weep and hug Shirley might arouse suspicion, so with a great deal of concentration, she managed to propel her body forwards by supporting it on one leg after the other. Walking, she remembered. She knew it felt familiar.
‘Bye,’ she whispered to Shirley, with a weak grin on her face. She even waved as the door slowly divided them from each other. She’d made it.
Once on her own, she let out a loud moan and leant her head against the closed door.
Oh … my … God, she thought, overawed by the size of her emotions. So much anger. All I need is a leotard and I could become a wrestler.
Then she realised that Jake might be waiting for the lift at the bottom.
Her body froze.
The lift sank slowly to the ground.
There was only one thing for it. She closed her eyes.
‘Dear God. Prove you exist and let me die in here. Now. NOW.’
She opened her eyes. Nope. No God. Or if there was one, He was a sadist.
She looked frantically around. Why wasn’t there an exit in here? Or at least a toilet? Bloody cost-cutting crap.
She breathed deeply in an effort to regain control. Too deeply. She started seeing stars.
The lift landed her gently on the ground floor and she heard its soft chime.
She held her breath and in a last-ditch effort to compose herself, stared at the mirrored door before it opened to reveal her fate. A madwoman stared back at her.
Slowly the door silently opened.
Nothing, emptiness, void.
She almost wept with joy. Instead she walked furiously out of the office and hailed a cab.
It wasn’t until she was dropped off outside the Tate Modern that she started wondering something.
What the hell did Jake look like now?
*
Hundreds of new thoughts surfaced in her mind, but Annie knew she had to push them all to the back of it. First and foremost she had to concentrate on getting out of there.
‘Are you all right, dear?’ asked Shirley, suddenly beside her.
Annie rocketed out of her skin. Shit, she wished she wouldn’t do that.
‘Oh yes,’ managed Annie. ‘I’m just,’ she couldn’t catch her breath. ‘Leaving.’
‘I’ll call the lift for you,’ said Shirley, and pressed the button.
Annie stared at the lift. Jake could be in it. Now. On his way up.
The mere thought of him was having a bad enough effect on her body, God only knew what the actual living presence of him would do. She had to avoid him. She could take the stairs but they were usually locked. No one was ever encouraged to use them as they were nowhere near as impressive as the lift. She turned to Shirley.
‘You know what?’ she said, trying to sound relaxed. ‘I think I’m going to take the stairs.’
‘Nonsense, dear,’ instructed Shirley. ‘The lift’s nearly here now.’
Annie smiled. I’ve always hated you, she thought. Now I know why.
She tried to argue, but found she couldn’t. All her energy was taken up pumping the blood round her body that she’d been saving for a special occasion.
Instead of jumping out of the window, which suddenly struck her as a wise and well-prepared plan, Annie forced herself to stay motionless, staring at the monitor above the lift, watching a tiny green cube of light smoothly and slowly ascend.
Ground floor, first, second …
Was it going to be empty, or was she going to find herself face to face with the pillock who’d ruined her finals and her life? The pillock she’d have risked everything for. It was a puzzler and no mistake.
Third, fourth …
‘Are you sure you’re all right, dear?’ asked Shirley. ‘You’re looking awfully pale.’
I’ll show you pale, thought Annie. Large window, five flights up, say your prayers, bitch.
She attempted a smile. ‘I need a holiday,’ she mouthed.
Fifth floor. The lift chimed its arrival and the doors opened noiselessly.
Using up all her energy, Annie turned to face it. It was empty.
She decided that to weep and hug Shirley might arouse suspicion, so with a great deal of concentration, she managed to propel her body forwards by supporting it on one leg after the other. Walking, she remembered. She knew it felt familiar.
‘Bye,’ she whispered to Shirley, with a weak grin on her face. She even waved as the door slowly divided them from each other. She’d made it.
Once on her own, she let out a loud moan and leant her head against the closed door.
Oh … my … God, she thought, overawed by the size of her emotions. So much anger. All I need is a leotard and I could become a wrestler.
Then she realised that Jake might be waiting for the lift at the bottom.
Her body froze.
The lift sank slowly to the ground.
There was only one thing for it. She closed her eyes.
‘Dear God. Prove you exist and let me die in here. Now. NOW.’
She opened her eyes. Nope. No God. Or if there was one, He was a sadist.
She looked frantically around. Why wasn’t there an exit in here? Or at least a toilet? Bloody cost-cutting crap.
She breathed deeply in an effort to regain control. Too deeply. She started seeing stars.
The lift landed her gently on the ground floor and she heard its soft chime.
She held her breath and in a last-ditch effort to compose herself, stared at the mirrored door before it opened to reveal her fate. A madwoman stared back at her.
Slowly the door silently opened.
Nothing, emptiness, void.
She almost wept with joy. Instead she walked furiously out of the office and hailed a cab.
It wasn’t until she was dropped off outside the Tate Modern that she started wondering something.
What the hell did Jake look like now?
*
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