to Whitney. Elise usually did most of the talking, but, without her around, Jamie easily filled in the empty space. She talked about growing up in New York, where her dad was an investment banker and her mother served on the boards of several nonprofit organizations. Jamie did not have a strong New York accent, and Whitney suspected it was because she had spent every summer of her childhood with her grandparents in Iowa, where her mother had grown up. Jamie had gone to Dartmouth for her undergraduate degree, and had majored in sociology. Inspired by a desire to see a different part of the country, she moved to Louisiana after graduating to intern with a nonprofit organization. She ended up on a project to help victims of Hurricane Katrina. Jamie was a fascinating personality. She easily spent hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars on a single afternoon’s shopping trip, yet she had worked with some very poor people to make their lives better.
They ended up at J.Crew because Jamie wanted to pick up some cheap essentials. Whitney saw a price tag on a t-shirt that read $49.50, and could not take it anymore.
“Seriously, Jamie! Am I the only one at this law school who isn’t swimming in money? This is what you consider cheap? How can anyone afford this stuff?”
Jamie, who was holding several tank tops, paused to look at Whitney. To Whitney’s surprise, she apologized. “I’m sorry. I know it’s ridiculous. It’s just hard, when you grow up with a dad who makes millions of dollars a year. You don’t even see the price tags anymore. I should know better, after all the work I did in Louisiana with so many people who had nothing.”
There was an awkward pause, and when Whitney did not say anything else, Jamie said, “I’m guessing you did not grow up with a dad who made millions?” Whitney still did not speak, but the answer was obvious.
“It’s not as glamorous as it sounds. I don’t mean to make light of the fact that I grew up privileged. But, my dad was never home. He never spent time with us. That’s why my brother and I spent every summer in Iowa. He gave us whatever stuff we wanted, but he was never there. Even though I never ask for money anymore, I have this credit card that they insisted on giving me for emergencies. They pay the entire balance on it every month, no matter what I charge. But I haven’t seen my dad at all since last Christmas, even though I went home to New York this summer.”
Whitney sighed. “I just feel like I don’t fit in here. I get it, there are more important things in life than money. But I feel like everyone here has money. Everyone here went to an Ivy League. I just can’t keep up with the lifestyle or the expectations.”
“I don’t think people care whether you’re wearing Gucci or not.”
“Maybe not, but that’s not even the problem! Do you know the real reason I didn’t want to go out last night? Because I was worried about how much I might end up spending. I always have to think about this. Everyone else just hands over their credit card and doesn’t give it a second thought! And when I try to stop drinking so I don’t spend more money, people start pressuring me and calling me a wet blanket. What am I supposed to do? Awkwardly explain to everyone that I would love another drink but I can’t afford it?” Whitney could feel her face heating up from a combination of frustration, anger, and embarrassment. This was not exactly the kind of conversation you want to have in the middle of a J.Crew store.
“Look, I’m sorry. You’re right. You should have told Elise, though. She would understand. We can go to less expensive places, and we can make sure you’re not being pressured to spend more than you want.”
“I’m not sure Elise would understand, actually. I mean, at least you have spent time around people who literally have no money at all. I’m not sure she ever has. And she practically brags about the fact that her parents are still paying for
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