later, she looked up at me with sad eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
“Don’t apologize. Just tell me what happened,” I said as I used my thumb to wipe away an errant tear from her cheek.
“I really don’t want to talk about it.”
I let her go when she started to get up. I followed her from the floor and stood in front of her.
“You can tell me. If something’s wrong with you, just tell me. It’s my job to take care of you, snowflake. I want to take care of you. “
And I would. For the rest of my life I’d make sure she was protected. I couldn’t stand seeing her like this and I’d do whatever it took to make sure she never felt sick or sad again.
She shook her head and took an aggravated breath. “It’s nothing, Zeke, and it’s not your job to take care of me. It’s my job to take care of me. Just drop it, please.”
She stepped around me to pull a towel down from the shelf, and then she started to pull off her clothes.
“Please shut the door behind you,” she said bluntly.
I wasn’t sure what had just happened, but the girl in front of me was not the girl I’d just had carefree sex with in my car. This wasn’t the girl who spread her legs for a speaker just an hour ago and seduced me with her soft moans and cries. This was a sick and stressed girl. One that I thought no longer existed.
I said nothing as I turned and walked out of the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and stood there in shock. Her words had hurt my feelings and I didn’t fucking like it one bit. Feelings were new to me in general. The happy ones I could handle, no questions asked, but when Snowflake cut me, it hurt worse than having my ass beat every day by my dad.
I didn’t bother eating. Instead, I left the bedroom and went into the main room with the boys. They were passing around a blunt and the smoke around the room was thick. I fell into the chair next to Finn and, without asking any questions, he passed it to me.
I’d slowed down on smoking since finding Patience again. She was good for me in more ways than one. I didn’t need to feel numb and buzzed all the time when I had her on my side. That wasn’t the case in that moment. I needed to relax and I needed to block out the hurt I felt in the pit of my stomach by being pushed away from her.
I hit the tip hard and sucked the smoke into my lungs. Leaning back in the chair, I let the burn work its way down my throat and into my chest before I exhaled. I hit it once more and passed it to one of the strange girls who was probably going to be one of the boys’ playthings for the night.
I looked over at Chet who was stuffing his face with peanut butter-dipped sour cream and onion chips. Eating fucked-up foods was Chet’s thing when he was high. He tossed a chip in his mouth and then licked the peanut butter from his fingers.
“What?” he asked when he noticed me staring.
“That’s fucking nasty, bro. That’s what.”
“Have you ever tried it?” He tilted the bag of chips and jar of peanut butter toward me.
“Hell no.”
“It’s like ugly girls, man. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. The ugly girls try harder.” He laughed.
One of the girls sucked her teeth at him and threw a couch pillow at his face.
“That’s not very nice.” She chuckled. “Are you trying to say an ugly girl would be better in bed than me?” She ran her hands down her body to make a statement.
“Who’s to say you’re not one of the ugly girls I’m referring to?” He lifted a brow and stuck another chip in his mouth.
The rest of the room laughed, including her friend, but she was pissed.
I’d had enough of the whole scene, and I wanted to check on Patience. I went back to my room, but the lights were off and she was cuddled up in my bed, sleeping. Instead of waking her and trying to get her to talk, I stuffed a burger down my throat, jumped in the shower, and went to bed. We slept on opposite sides like an old married couple. It sucked.
The next morning,
Natalie Whipple
Susan Sontag, Victor Serge, Willard R. Trask
Darynda Jones
Susan McBride
Tiffany King
Opal Carew
Annette O'Hare
William Avery Bishop
Tristan J. Tarwater
Robert Jordan, Brandon Sanderson