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right. A long time ago.”
    “And you don’t know where.”
    “No,” I say.
    “No address?”
    “No.”
    “No phone number?”
    “No.”
    “Girlie, a whole lot of nothing is what you have,” he says, shaking his head. “Why do you want to find him?”
    “Because he’s my grandpa,” I say.
    The man scratches the pointy part of his sideburn. “How can you be so sure that this grandpa of yours wants to be found?”
    “Because I am,” I tell him. “He’s a great adventurer, and…and…”
    “And what?”
    “And he just doesn’t know I’m looking for him is all. If he knew, he’d try to find me, too.”
    The man rests on his knees and leans in close. He smells like bacon and cigarettes. “Tell you what. You leave me alone, and if I see a letter with Felix Crumb’s name on it, I’ll give you a call. Deal?”
    I stick my hand out for shaking. “Deal.”

13.
    S omehow I know I’m in trouble even before I open the door to our apartment.
    “Where in blazes have you been?” says Mom. She’s standing next to Terrible, who looks proud like he just invented cotton candy or started a war. I can’t tell which.
    The secret tucked inside me feels heavy and wants to come out. I put my hand over my chest to keep it in. Then I search my brains about where I said I was going today, but it doesn’t much matter because Mom has a lot more to say. “And bevery careful about your answer because apparently I have a serious case of the flu and could take a turn for the worse at any moment.”
    “Patsy Cline,” I say. I hadn’t counted on this happening.
    “Her mother, actually.”
    “Oh.” Ten times worse.
    “Imagine my surprise when I learned how sick I am.”
    “You are looking much better,” I say.
    “Penelope.” (Diseased Stomach.) Mom folds her arms across her chest. “And how you had to miss Patsy’s audition to stay home and take care of me.”
    It’s hard to look at my mom when she’s angry. Her eyes, nose, and mouth get all scrunched up together in the middle of her face like they’re telling ghost stories at a tea party. I look at Terrible, which is a big mistake because he’s pinching his nose with his fingers in a way that says I’m Pinocchio.
    “Well,” says Mom. “I’m waiting.”
    My secret starts knocking.
    “Where were you today, missy?”
    I know from experience it’s best to give up, especially when she calls me
missy
. Which makes me glad that I’ve got the name Penelope for most of the time.
    Finally, I blurt out, “I went looking for Grandpa Felix.”
    Not one single balloon or streamer falls from the ceiling. No confetti and no horns. Terrible goes all quiet, and Mom’s face gets blotchy.
    “I haven’t found him yet,” I say. “But I know I will soon.”
    Terrible is looking at me like I just opened a casket and out fell a dead body. “What?” I say. But he just shakes his head and then looks away.
    Mom picks up her sketch pad of insides drawings from the coffee table and shuffles through the pages, like she’s telling them what she’s thinking. Things she doesn’t tell us. Then she looks right at me. “Penelope, I want you to pay attention to what I’m about to say.”
    I set my eyeballs on her scrunched-up tea-party face.
    “Felix Crumb is not a part of our life anymore,” she says.
    “But that’s why I’m trying to find him,” I say. “So he can be.”
    Mom shakes her head. “No. Don’t you understand?”
    I don’t. Not even a little. And I don’t think Grandpa Felix would understand this either. Even with my secret out, my chest feels heavy again. But I nod anyway and then cover my nose with my hand, just in case.
    I make up a speech for Patsy Cline in my brains on the walk to school that says how very sorry I am. But when I see Patsy Cline in Miss Stunkel’s classroom, she acts like I’ve got tails sprouting out all over.
    “Patsy Cline Roberta Watson,” I say, “you are my only best friend and I am sorry you’re mad atme. I’m sorry