Read Online Past Imperfect by Alison G. Bailey - Free Book Online Page A

up.”
    “I was invited to the book club brunch.”
    “You crashed the brunch and charmed the panties off of everyone sitting at the table.”
    “Everyone? Does that mean I could move my fingers up your thigh, under your dress, and inside of you without the obstacle of those pesky lace panties you wear?” I inch my fingers up her inner thigh.
    “Brad…,” she moans breathlessly.
    “You could watch yourself in the mirror as I make you come, Mabry. Watching you come is the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen.” My hand disappears under her dress. “God, I’ve missed the feel of you.”
    “I’ve missed you too,” she whispers.
    I feel her hips rock slightly against my hand as it continues to travel up her leg. I’m so lost in her body, her scent, and her voice that my emotions just start pouring out of me. “I love you so much, Mabry.”
    My words snap her out of the moment. I feel her body stiffen and pull away from me. I remain standing in the same spot and watch her in the mirror as she walks across the room and turns to me. “Brad, I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I told you from day one there can’t be anything serious between us.”
    “Why? Why can’t there be anything serious between us? You owe me a fucking explanation.”
    “I don’t owe you anything. I’ve been upfront and honest from day one.”
    I turn to face her. “Bullshit! You’ve been anything but upfront and honest with me. You want me as much as I want you and I don’t mean for just a quick fuck.”
    “Is your ego so big that you can’t accept the fact that somebody doesn’t want you?”
    “Yeah, I can accept the fact that somebody doesn’t want me, but I can’t accept the fact that it’s you,” I say before walking away from her.

    I spend the rest of my Sunday cleaning my place, doing laundry, and trying to get Brad out of my head. I didn’t see him for the rest of the day. I know I keep telling him to stay away, but deep down I don’t want him to. I’ve missed being held in his arms and lying next to him. I’ve missed his flirting, charm, and that smile he believes gets him anything he wants. Which for the most part it does. I miss the way he makes me feel worth the effort. I’ve felt lonely in the past, but I’ve never had this ache inside like I do when he’s not around. Both times I saw him today I immediately felt lighter and excited. He is so much fun when he flirts. And when he looks at me with those warm beautiful eyes that hold so much honest emotion and tell me how he feels is when I melt. I almost gave in to him when we were in the restroom. It felt incredible to have his arms around me again. I feel safe in them. I just can’t subject him to my life in any real way.
    I never knew what brought on my mom’s depression. To me she was fine one minute, and the next she was lying in her own blood. She may as well have slit my dad’s wrists that day too because he died along with her. I could never do that to someone I love, And I do… I do love Brad. What would I do if he got tired or bored with me, and left? I know he says he loves me, but he’s been with a lot of women. Does he even know what being in love is? Would it be too much of a trigger to open myself up and be that vulnerable? It’s hard enough now just pushing him away. If we were together and he left me, would I become just like my mom? No, I had to be strong and keep my distance from him. It was the best thing for both of us.
    While repeating these thoughts, my anxiety builds along with the desire to bang my head. It’s seeping into me and difficult to ignore. I’ve succumb to it so many times this week. The stress of seeing Brad every day is overwhelming. Knowing how much I need and want him, coupled with the intense anger that I still hold against my parents, had me caving to the relief the physical pain and the numbness give me. I need a distraction. I have to fight the pull of it. The other night was one of the worst times I’d