woman? Why had he left the room? And even as these thoughts collided in her head she felt furious with herself for being so easily drawn back.
Chapter 4
AFTER CHRISTMAS DAY, Cal had Honey for a few days and Angel used the time to catch up with Jez in London. Even though she knew she wouldn’t be apart from her daughter for long, she still felt Honey’s absence like a physical ache and had to keep busy so as not to dwell on missing her.
‘So how was it with Cal?’ Jez asked as they met up in the bar of the Mayfair Hotel for cocktails, typically asking the very question that had been preoccupying Angel herself.
They were sitting on one of the luxurious purple velvet sofas by the fire, with glasses of pink champagne. Angel contemplated telling him about the kiss and then thought better of it, not wanting it to take on an even greater importance than it already had in her mind. Indeed, she could not stop thinking about it – and it still aroused such contradictory feelings of desire, quickly followed by guilt.
‘It was okay at times,’ she said slowly. ‘And then at others it felt really strange being with him. He was very offhand with me.’ She shook back her long blonde hair as if shrugging off the memory, and took a sip of champagne. ‘I don’t know, maybe it’s just too soon for us to meet up like that . . . everything is still too raw.’
Jez arched an eyebrow. ‘He still loves you, it is soobvious! He’s doing his distant act as a defence, but it
is
just an act.’
For as long as she had known him – which was coming up for eight years – Jez had been one of her closest friends and confidantes. He put on an act of being shallow, and camper than a row of tents, but underneath he had a heart of gold, and was both caring and perceptive – a bit too perceptive sometimes. ‘And don’t be cross with me, but I think you’re still in love with him on some level.’
Angel sighed, ‘I don’t know, Jez. When I found out that he had seen Alessia for three months – that it hadn’t just been a one night stand, not that a one night stand wasn’t bad enough – it shook everything up. I never thought Cal would do that to me – ever.’
‘I know, Angel, but he bitterly regrets it, and it wasn’t as if things between you were going well back then.’ It was true, of course. After Honey was born, Angel had completely shut herself off from Cal, had been impossible to live with, snapping at him one moment, withdrawing the next; nor did she feel able to tell anyone as she felt such a failure as a mother. Post-natal depression had been one of the worst experiences of her life.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring it all back,’ Jez added, seeing sadness invade Angel’s face.
‘Shall we talk about something else?’
But even though they then chatted and gossiped about which celebrity was doing what to whom, the mood of sadness stayed. It was as if Angel had been so caught up in the whirlwind of her infatuation with Ethan and her determination to leave Cal and start a new life for herself, that she hadn’t given herself any time to grieve for her broken marriage.
After cocktails she treated Jez and Rufus, who had finally finished work at the gym, to dinner at Nobu inMayfair. It had always been one of Angel’s favourite restaurants and she knew Jez and Rufus loved it too, but hadn’t been able to go for a while because of their money worries.
Rufus was the perfect partner for Jez, being calm, quiet, thoughtful and totally loyal. Before Rufus, Jez had flitted from affair to affair, pretending to be happy but inside always craving a stable relationship. It was lovely to see them together, they suited each other perfectly.
Angel was just in the middle of telling Rufus that he must come out to LA in the New Year when she caught sight of someone she had hoped she would never have to see again. Ever. She was the former soap-star actress Simone Fraser, the woman Cal had left to be with Angel. Simone had never
Chapter 4
AFTER CHRISTMAS DAY, Cal had Honey for a few days and Angel used the time to catch up with Jez in London. Even though she knew she wouldn’t be apart from her daughter for long, she still felt Honey’s absence like a physical ache and had to keep busy so as not to dwell on missing her.
‘So how was it with Cal?’ Jez asked as they met up in the bar of the Mayfair Hotel for cocktails, typically asking the very question that had been preoccupying Angel herself.
They were sitting on one of the luxurious purple velvet sofas by the fire, with glasses of pink champagne. Angel contemplated telling him about the kiss and then thought better of it, not wanting it to take on an even greater importance than it already had in her mind. Indeed, she could not stop thinking about it – and it still aroused such contradictory feelings of desire, quickly followed by guilt.
‘It was okay at times,’ she said slowly. ‘And then at others it felt really strange being with him. He was very offhand with me.’ She shook back her long blonde hair as if shrugging off the memory, and took a sip of champagne. ‘I don’t know, maybe it’s just too soon for us to meet up like that . . . everything is still too raw.’
Jez arched an eyebrow. ‘He still loves you, it is soobvious! He’s doing his distant act as a defence, but it
is
just an act.’
For as long as she had known him – which was coming up for eight years – Jez had been one of her closest friends and confidantes. He put on an act of being shallow, and camper than a row of tents, but underneath he had a heart of gold, and was both caring and perceptive – a bit too perceptive sometimes. ‘And don’t be cross with me, but I think you’re still in love with him on some level.’
Angel sighed, ‘I don’t know, Jez. When I found out that he had seen Alessia for three months – that it hadn’t just been a one night stand, not that a one night stand wasn’t bad enough – it shook everything up. I never thought Cal would do that to me – ever.’
‘I know, Angel, but he bitterly regrets it, and it wasn’t as if things between you were going well back then.’ It was true, of course. After Honey was born, Angel had completely shut herself off from Cal, had been impossible to live with, snapping at him one moment, withdrawing the next; nor did she feel able to tell anyone as she felt such a failure as a mother. Post-natal depression had been one of the worst experiences of her life.
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring it all back,’ Jez added, seeing sadness invade Angel’s face.
‘Shall we talk about something else?’
But even though they then chatted and gossiped about which celebrity was doing what to whom, the mood of sadness stayed. It was as if Angel had been so caught up in the whirlwind of her infatuation with Ethan and her determination to leave Cal and start a new life for herself, that she hadn’t given herself any time to grieve for her broken marriage.
After cocktails she treated Jez and Rufus, who had finally finished work at the gym, to dinner at Nobu inMayfair. It had always been one of Angel’s favourite restaurants and she knew Jez and Rufus loved it too, but hadn’t been able to go for a while because of their money worries.
Rufus was the perfect partner for Jez, being calm, quiet, thoughtful and totally loyal. Before Rufus, Jez had flitted from affair to affair, pretending to be happy but inside always craving a stable relationship. It was lovely to see them together, they suited each other perfectly.
Angel was just in the middle of telling Rufus that he must come out to LA in the New Year when she caught sight of someone she had hoped she would never have to see again. Ever. She was the former soap-star actress Simone Fraser, the woman Cal had left to be with Angel. Simone had never