Read Online Outcast by Lewis Ericson - Free Book Online Page A

thought about going to her apartment, but taking the train at this hour on a Sunday night was out of the question. Betty was already off to bed. He sat in solitude outside on the porch, smoking a cigarette, surrounded by the stars. It was a clear night. Weathermen clamored about the drought, and the grass in and around the neighborhood testified to that fact. He listened to Bobby’s message about the “gift” he’d left in his pocket, and decided to call Marquis.
    â€œHello.”
    â€œHey, boy, whudup?”
    A long silence, as dry as the weather, followed.
    â€œMarquis, you there?”
    â€œYeah, I’m here.”
    â€œLook, man. I was just callin’ to set the record straight and apologize for yesterday.”
    â€œIt’s cool. I understand.”
    â€œIt’s just that I got bored sittin’ at home and Bobby came by and we rode out. One thing led to another and, well, you know how it is.”
    â€œYeah, I know how it is.”
    â€œI wasn’t tryin’ to dis you or nothin’. I really wanted all of us to hang. I’m sorry about comin’ by your job and actin’ a fool like that, too. I still hope you can talk to your pops about me workin’ there.”
    Another pause.
    â€œMarquis?”
    â€œIf you get the job he’s not gonna want Bobby Williams hangin’ out up there.”
    â€œHe won’t. If you get me on I’ll keep Bobby away.”
    â€œOkay, I’ll talk to him, but I can’t make any promises.”
    â€œWe still boys?”
    â€œYeah, we’re good.”
    â€œThat’s what’s up. I’ll holla at you tomorrow, a’ight?” Squashing his cigarette and ensuring it was completely out, Tirrell pulled the pouch from his pocket and looked over his shoulder to see if Betty might be peering out through the drapes at the window. He stuck his finger in the bag and licked off the excess.
    â€œâ€˜I know I got to be right now . . . ’cause I can’t get no wronger.’”
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    Tasha stared at the ringing phone and forced herself not to answer. She wasn’t ready to hear another one of Tirrell’s patented excuses for bad behavior—but she was weak. He possessed a magnetism that she found hard to resist no matter his faults. That incomprehensible pull that made her stay with him even though she felt she should have moved on long ago. Sometimes she could see this angry little boy inside the façade of the man she knew he tried to be—the one he could be if given the chance. She rationalized that his sometimes erratic behavior justified one of the most difficult decisions she ever had to make.
    Thank God for her cousin, Darnell. If he hadn’t been there she would have completely fallen apart. Despite Darnell’s counsel, she wanted to forgive Tirrell. She wanted to love him. In many ways she felt she needed to. She’d convinced herself that they were good together, even in the face of contradiction. She sat as the phone continued to ring, recalling the first time she witnessed his anger. They’d only been dating a few weeks and had gone Rollerblading in the park. A man jogging by them inadvertently made a comment about her rear end and Tirrell went ballistic. She could hear Darnell’s voice: “Cousin, you a damn fool. His dick can’t be that good.” But there was a side to Tirrell that he didn’t show everybody. He could be disarmingly charming when he chose to be. At the time Tasha told herself that he was defending her honor—but it was more territorial than that.
    Tirrell was a brash nineteen-year-old when they met; she was twenty-two. He was riding the MARTA train to visit a friend and she was on her way to work. She smiled. He winked and smiled back. He got off at her stop despite his previous destination. They shared coffee and conversation and soon forgot all about their other obligations.
    â€œHow old are