out to become a firefighter, Cam had a few guys that he spoke to, but he was never close with them. So I thought, except for me, who was Cam’s best friend?
Cam struggled with whatever it was that made him extra protective and on edge. His mood swings and snappish demeanor hurt, but when I saw the anger replaced with vulnerability, it broke my heart. He wasn’t able to talk to me about it, so who did that leave him?
My lungs hurt as the knot in my chest grew. Cam got along well with Kris, and I wanted to believe that Kris was a good guy. Cam needed someone to talk to, who understood what firefighters saw and had to deal with every day. He needed a friend outside of me, with whom he could talk about his problems. I had Caroline, so I hoped that Kris, or someone else, could be that sounding board for him.
Lunch with Caroline last week placed the seed of doubt in my mind, and my first impression of Kris wasn’t the best. Sure, he sat close to Cam the other night, but the table was small and the bar crowded. Looking back, I had been waiting for Kris to do something. I needed to blame someone for our problems, so Kris was never going to get a fair chance. His smile had been warm and genuine, yet I had convicted him immediately.
I was ashamed of myself and I felt horrible for being such a judgmental ass.
Was he gay or straight or something in between? It didn’t matter because Cam wouldn’t do anything, and if Kris tried, Cam would put him in his place. He wasn’t like my ex, Luke.
Putting my pride aside, I asked Cam to invite Kris and his girlfriend out for dinner. My reasons were many. I wanted to get to know Kris a little better, since my first impression was clouded by my own stupidity. Cam needed a friend, and if he talked to someone—that wasn’t me—and it helped to fix whatever was going on and stopped his nightmares, then I was all for it. His nightmares freaked me the fuck out. And finally, I needed to see if what I’d thought I saw last week in the bar was my imagination or not. I wanted Kris to be a good guy, for both our sakes.
I didn’t tell Cam any of this. He was surprised I wanted to have dinner with Kris but didn’t question my motives. If Kris was the likable guy Cam said he was, then there was no reason why I couldn’t like him.
I made a reservation at a restaurant we knew not far from home. Kris and Nikky lived in the area and we agreed to meet them. They were at the bar waiting for us when we arrived.
“Hey, man,” Kris said, slapping Cam on the back. “This is Nikky. Nik, you already met Cam, and this is his partner, Jake.” Kris gave me that same friendly smile, and I couldn’t help but warm up to him.
Nikky was small compared with the three tall men that surrounded her, with a shock of red hair that reminded me of the singer from Paramore.
“I’m pleased to meet you, Jake. I’m sorry if Cameron came home the other morning not feeling the best, but I fed and watered him before sending him home.” Nikky’s smile was as bright as her hair.
Wow, wasn’t she a polite one.
A polite woman appeared alien to me after Caroline’s bluntness.
I shrugged off the memory of that morning. “He was a bit worse for wear, but he recovered eventually.”
Nikky giggled, turning her attention to Cam.
“Cameron, you look much better today than you did the first time I met you.”
Cam rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry about that. I don’t remember much after leaving the bar.” By silent agreement, Cam and I ignored any reference to that night he never came home.
Keeping the conversation light and easy through dinner, I made an effort to engage Kris and Nikky while keeping an eye on Kris and Cam’s interaction. Yes, Kris looked at Cam with a glimmer in his eye, but it wasn’t overt, and Cam didn’t seem to notice. Kris was funny and easygoing, and Nikky appeared shy, but spoke with confidence. The two of them together seemed quite mismatched.
“So how long have you two been
Cam struggled with whatever it was that made him extra protective and on edge. His mood swings and snappish demeanor hurt, but when I saw the anger replaced with vulnerability, it broke my heart. He wasn’t able to talk to me about it, so who did that leave him?
My lungs hurt as the knot in my chest grew. Cam got along well with Kris, and I wanted to believe that Kris was a good guy. Cam needed someone to talk to, who understood what firefighters saw and had to deal with every day. He needed a friend outside of me, with whom he could talk about his problems. I had Caroline, so I hoped that Kris, or someone else, could be that sounding board for him.
Lunch with Caroline last week placed the seed of doubt in my mind, and my first impression of Kris wasn’t the best. Sure, he sat close to Cam the other night, but the table was small and the bar crowded. Looking back, I had been waiting for Kris to do something. I needed to blame someone for our problems, so Kris was never going to get a fair chance. His smile had been warm and genuine, yet I had convicted him immediately.
I was ashamed of myself and I felt horrible for being such a judgmental ass.
Was he gay or straight or something in between? It didn’t matter because Cam wouldn’t do anything, and if Kris tried, Cam would put him in his place. He wasn’t like my ex, Luke.
Putting my pride aside, I asked Cam to invite Kris and his girlfriend out for dinner. My reasons were many. I wanted to get to know Kris a little better, since my first impression was clouded by my own stupidity. Cam needed a friend, and if he talked to someone—that wasn’t me—and it helped to fix whatever was going on and stopped his nightmares, then I was all for it. His nightmares freaked me the fuck out. And finally, I needed to see if what I’d thought I saw last week in the bar was my imagination or not. I wanted Kris to be a good guy, for both our sakes.
I didn’t tell Cam any of this. He was surprised I wanted to have dinner with Kris but didn’t question my motives. If Kris was the likable guy Cam said he was, then there was no reason why I couldn’t like him.
I made a reservation at a restaurant we knew not far from home. Kris and Nikky lived in the area and we agreed to meet them. They were at the bar waiting for us when we arrived.
“Hey, man,” Kris said, slapping Cam on the back. “This is Nikky. Nik, you already met Cam, and this is his partner, Jake.” Kris gave me that same friendly smile, and I couldn’t help but warm up to him.
Nikky was small compared with the three tall men that surrounded her, with a shock of red hair that reminded me of the singer from Paramore.
“I’m pleased to meet you, Jake. I’m sorry if Cameron came home the other morning not feeling the best, but I fed and watered him before sending him home.” Nikky’s smile was as bright as her hair.
Wow, wasn’t she a polite one.
A polite woman appeared alien to me after Caroline’s bluntness.
I shrugged off the memory of that morning. “He was a bit worse for wear, but he recovered eventually.”
Nikky giggled, turning her attention to Cam.
“Cameron, you look much better today than you did the first time I met you.”
Cam rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry about that. I don’t remember much after leaving the bar.” By silent agreement, Cam and I ignored any reference to that night he never came home.
Keeping the conversation light and easy through dinner, I made an effort to engage Kris and Nikky while keeping an eye on Kris and Cam’s interaction. Yes, Kris looked at Cam with a glimmer in his eye, but it wasn’t overt, and Cam didn’t seem to notice. Kris was funny and easygoing, and Nikky appeared shy, but spoke with confidence. The two of them together seemed quite mismatched.
“So how long have you two been
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