Other Side of the Wall

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Authors: Jennifer Peel
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urge to hold his hand or touch him. I just wish he would let me,
or better yet, he would want to and initiate it on his own.
    I
had made a cake the day before. Normally Scott would come over for dessert on
Sunday and we would watch a movie. I made it just in case he happened to show
up, but he hadn’t. I thought this was a good time to get rid of it. I didn’t
need to be eating a whole cake by myself. It was a death by chocolate Bundt
cake, and I had made homemade whip cream as a topping. I also had some fresh
berries to top it off.
    Scott
helped me dish out the dessert in the kitchen. While we were preparing each
serving he apologized for his brother’s behavior.
    I
waved off his concern. “It’s fine, he was just kidding around.”
    “I
don’t think so, Ava.”
    I
looked at him as he was placing some whip cream on a slice of cake. He just
seemed so out of sorts. He had been that way on and off all evening.
    “Are
you ok? I keep feeling like I’ve done something.”
    He
slowly set the spoon full of whip cream down and looked my way. “Ava, all
you’re guilty of is being who you are.”
    “Is
that a problem?”
    “Yes.”
    My
heart dropped. He was telling me he didn’t like me; maybe that was why he left.
He was trying to figure out a way to say we couldn’t be friends anymore. I had
been cutting the cake, so I set the knife down and turned around. I didn’t want
to cry in front of him or his family. “Excuse me,” I said.  I walked out to the
hall that led to the upstairs. I was just about to go up the stairs when I felt
myself being pulled into Scott’s arms.
    “I
could really use that instruction manual for you now,” he whispered in my ear.
    “I
don’t have one. If you don’t want to be around me anymore, just tell me.”
    He
pulled me closer and it felt like heaven. I had so badly wanted to be held by
him, to be close to him.
    “Ava,
is that what you think?”
    “What
else would explain your behavior?”
    “Would
you believe jealousy?”
    I
didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help, but pull back a bit so I could look him in
the eye.
    He
looked down at me and smiled sadly. “Ava, I know I don’t have any right to be,
especially since I’m not sure if I’m ready to be romantically involved with
you, but I find I want to be.”
    “Then
maybe you’re ready.”
    “Jenna’s
only been gone six months.”
    “And…”
    “And
it’s complicated, Ava.”
    He
let go of me, and we walked back to the kitchen. I didn’t know why it was so
complicated. We were great together. We finished putting dessert together
silently. I didn’t say much after we sat back down with his family. I just
listened to them all go back and forth. The conversation mainly focused around
sports. I take it Eric was a south-sider and he liked the White Sox and Nick
was a definite north-sider and he was a Cub’s fan. I don’t know why it mattered
this year, they both stunk. Scott and I had been lucky enough to see a Cub’s
game at Wrigley where they actually won. Scott wasn’t a huge sports fan, but he
enjoyed it once in a while. It was actually refreshing to be around a guy that
didn’t feel the need to watch or talk about sports twenty-four-seven.
    That
was my problem; there were so many refreshing things about Scott. I found
myself wishing so many times that we had met each other before Jenna and Peter.
Why couldn’t he have walked into the urgent care?
    His
family was overly complimentary about the dessert, especially his Mom. Scott
stayed quiet, and we didn’t look at each other. I could tell his parents
noticed, and they looked concerned. After dessert, his mom directed everyone
back to Scott’s and said she would stay and help me with the dishes. I told her
it wasn’t necessary, but she insisted.
    Everyone
but Myrna said their goodbyes. Scott quickly escaped back to his side of the
wall. That insurmountable wall was ever-present.
    Once
everyone left, Myrna turned to me. “I hope you don’t mind me staying.

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