Read Online Other People's Husbands by Judy Astley - Free Book Online Page A

taken one look at the world and wondered why she bothered.’ Terrified that by saying this he’d jinxed their baby’s survival, he and Sara had gone to the hospital chapel and lit candles for her. Neither was religious. If asked, they’d fill in the ‘agnostic’ box, but sometimes, they agreed, you just had to go for all the help that might be out there.
    â€˜Shame I won’t see him grow up,’ Conrad said now, looking as if he’d only just calculated the age gap between himself and his grandson.
    Sara put her arms round him, hugging him and the baby together. ‘Oh of course you will! You’re well and fit and you could go on for years and years! You’ll probably see his children!’ she laughed, letting go of them and making a start on cleaning the sticky table.
    â€˜No, Sara, I won’t.’ Conrad sat on one of the twisted-selm chairs, still holding Charlie close to him. ‘I really want you to know this and not to laugh it off. I don’t want to get older than this. I can feel it creeping on and I intend to sidestep it. Outwit the Reaper, play him at his own game.’
    â€˜Conrad? Are you crazy? Don’t say that – it’s that be careful what you wish for thing! And anyway, what do you mean, exactly? How can you possibly just . . .’ Sara stopped wiping the table and crossed her fingers, because the awful word was surely one you shouldn’t say casually. ‘Just . . . die ?’
    Was he going to tell her something terrible? She knew he was, just knew it. He must be ill. Terminally. How could she not know? How had he hidden the kind of symptoms that could kill? Ridiculously, she didn’t want to remember this moment as one where she was covered in crumbs and dried baby food, hearing life’s worst possible news with a soggy J-cloth in her hand. She went to the sink and bought herself some time, washing her hands, smoothing anti-ageing hand cream all over them, very, very slowly.
    â€˜You’re so young,’ Conrad was saying. She turned round and realized he wasn’t speaking to Charlie but to her.
    â€˜No I’m not!’ She laughed, but it was the nervous kind. ‘Not any more! I’m a classic midlifer, surely, heading for trouble?’ The man from the pub slid in and out of her thoughts, just quickly, like a single, half-caught, subliminal frame accidentally slotted into a movie. Get out , she told the image. Not now .
    â€˜You’re still young enough to start again with someone else, Sara. Young enough to make a whole new life, even have another child if you wanted to. There are plenty of men out there who’d snap you up.’
    â€˜Now I know you’re crazy! Men who are looking for women aren’t looking for the forty-something ones,’ she said, feeling more scared than she would allow him to know. ‘And anyway, why would I want one? I’ve been happy with you since day one. You know that. And even if I could, I don’t want any more children. That’s what I did with you – I’d never want them with someone else.’
    â€˜All the same . . .’ He smiled, but looked sad. ‘I don’t want you to waste the rest of your youth taking care of an old man who is going into swift decline. I don’t want to be seventy.’
    She put her arms round him and kissed him gently. ‘I know you don’t, darling. I don’t suppose I’ll want to either, if and when the time comes.’
    â€˜We’ve had a good time, haven’t we?’ Conrad asked her.
    â€˜Yes. The best. But we’ll go on having a good time.’
    â€˜When I’ve gone, just remember it was good. And that I’ll be OK about going. Don’t be sad, will you?’ He took her hand, stroked her palm softly with his thumb.
    â€˜Conrad, of course I’ll be sad! I’ll wear deepest black, get Philip Treacy to make me wonderful hats and I’ll lie in a