the reason you think that is because you lie all the time. Thatâs what alcoholics do. And once you get real with the fact that more than likely youâre the only liar in the room, youâll save yourself a ton of grief. And youâll start to trust people.â
I want to snark back. I want to call her out on drinking the AA Kool-Aid without thinking critically about what a huge crock it all is, trusting some higher power to get yourself clean. Like some invisible dude in the sky is going to be able to make you say no when your friend is standing in front of you with a pitcher of margaritas or is going to swoop in when everything gets snatched away from you.
But I say nothing and take another drag of my cigarette. Kathy smiles.
âGood. Youâre already learning. Shut up and listen. Youâll get out of the hole eventually.â
Chapter
Eleven
The pancake breakfast is hopping. Which means a bunch of super-old guys who reek of cigarettes and pee are waiting in a line for someone to hand them a Styrofoam plate containing two sausages and three pancakes drowned in syrup. Joeâs standing behind the tub of sausages, tonging two onto a plate, then passing the plate to a younger woman who adds pancakes and a soup ladle of syrup. She offers a big smile to every one of the dudes she passes a plate to.
Kathy joins the back of the line and points me to Joe.
âUnless you want to eat first?â she adds.
âUm, no. Gross.â Iâm about to ask her if maybe our little coffee chat this morning counted as a reason to sign my court card, but I donât want to push it after she called me out for being hungover.
I walk over to Joe with my head up and my shoulders back. I splashed some water on my face at Starbucks so Iâm feeling much better. He sees me and shakes his head.
âYouâre going to need a hairnet for that hair. And if you show up again hungover, Iâm sending you home.â
Jesus. Do these people have some sort of built-in sobriety chip?
âYouâre not the boss of me.â Okay, Iâm five. But whatever. A hello wouldâve been nice.
âNo. She is. Natalie, this is Kara. Kara, this is Natalie. Natâs got community service hours. She can help you out for probably the next five or six months.â
Kara beams at the same time I sputter, âSix months?â
He looks at me, gaze darting over my face, then down the rest of me in a quick perusal. âHow many hours do you have?â
âA hundred.â
He lifts a shoulder. âWell, there you go. Five hours once a week. Twenty weeks. Youâll be here the next five months, give or take, depending on holidays and your schedule. I thought you were good at math?â
âFuck off.â
He laughs. Kara is still smiling wide and handing plates to the guys in line. Sheâs put so much syrup on each plate the sausages look as if theyâre floating in a moat.
âYou probably could ease up on the syrup,â I suggest.
âOh. You know syrup? Great. You can do that. Iâll hand the plates to you, you add the syrup, and give them to the guys. Our regular syrup guy is in Florida.â
âLucky,â I mumble before sliding next to her. Joe chuckles and pulls something from a box behind him before handing it to me.
I look at it. âHairnet? You were for real about that?â
âOf course I was. No one wants to come across one of those curls while theyâre eating. Put it on.â
âYes, sir.â I stick out my tongue and he laughs at me again.
âI know youâre meeting with Kathy on Sunday mornings, but youâll need to do that earlier. We need you here by eight for setup. Breakfast is nine to noon. An hour of cleanup afterward.â
âIâm supposed to meet Kathy earlier than eight? Are you fucking kidding me?â
âNo,â he says, and itâs clear heâs not. âSheâs good for it. Sheâs usually
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