bitterly.
I heard Hamlet sigh. Or was he blowing air on the stuttering fire? I felt him come up behind me and touch my shoulder.
"When we come to these woods in our humble clothes, I am no prince, but a man who may have my will," he said, his words full and rounded with yearning. "Here I am simply 'Jack,' and I choose you as my 'Jill'"
He turned me around to face him and kissed me warmly.
The touch of his lips somewhat banished my fears. I realized that Elsinore was for Hamlet, as it was for me, a gilded cage.
"In these woods and cottages there are no envious eyes, no carping tongues, no gossip or lies," I said. "So let us remain in this place always and speak only simple truth to each other." I rested my cheek against the rough homespun of his jacket, knowing that my wish was a vain one.
As soon as I returned to Elsinore, I felt constrained to lie, to deceive the queen herself.
"What ails thee, Ophelia? You are wan and distracted today."
"I studied late last night," I said. "And then I did not sleep soundly." In truth, I was tired, for I had been stealing many hours from my rest to spend with Hamlet. My absences were beginning to displease Gertrude and she grew testy with me.
"I do not like it when I call and you cannot be found."
"I was in the garden getting herbs for Elnora," I lied again.
Soon Gertrude suspected that I had a lover. Summoning me, she tried to catch me off my guard.
"Fetch me some lavender water, Ophelia. And tell me, what is his name?"
"I do not know what you mean, my lady."
"It is as plain as the daylight that you are in love." She held up a trinket, dangling it before me. "Wouldn't you like to wear this beaded comb?"
"No, it becomes you better," I said, fastening the comb in her hair and avoiding her gaze.
"Does he love you back? Perhaps a word from me will help smooth the path of true love."
So Gertrude probed, while I denied that I loved anyone. How could I tell the queen that it was her son I desired? That we talked and laughed for hours together? That we pretended to be rustics not ruled by custom but free to choose our love?
I wanted to confide in Elnora but was certain that her loyalty to Gertrude would prevail over our friendship. There was no one else I trusted. And though I said nothing, everyone suspected that I had a suitor. Did my looks, though guarded, betray me? Did I murmur to myself? Surely not, but the ladies still gave me sly glances and attempted to guess the aim of my desire. It was wicked of me, but I let them believe I fancied Horatio, for his good reputation put him above all reproach.
Gertrude knew that I was deceiving her, and she in turn began to hold me at a distance. I was no longer asked to wait upon her or to read to her. While I was out of favor, Cristiana slipped into my place and worked her malice on the queen's mind.
When Gertrude spoke to me again, her tone was cold.
"I am told that you spend your days in the country with a common boy, that you dress like some farmer's daughter."
Her misunderstanding would have been comic had we read of it in a romantic fable. She and I could have laughed at the mother's blindness and pitied the plight of the unequal lovers. But this was no fiction. I merely hung my head as she poured out her disappointment on me.
"Do you thus repay my kindness by disgracing yourself?" she demanded. "Surely there is some gentleman at court whom you could favor."
I was dismayed to be so fallen from Gertrude's esteem.
"My heart is in such turmoil," I cried, unable to suppress my tears. "You are right; I love unworthily." That at least was true. "I will strive against it," I promised, a fresh lie.
"I hope that you will return to your senses, Ophelia. This madness does not become you."
I was sure that it was Cristiana who spied on me and told the queen what she saw. One day not long after the queen's lecture, I caught Cristiana in my chamber. I worried that she had searched my trunk, where my tokens and letters from Hamlet were
I heard Hamlet sigh. Or was he blowing air on the stuttering fire? I felt him come up behind me and touch my shoulder.
"When we come to these woods in our humble clothes, I am no prince, but a man who may have my will," he said, his words full and rounded with yearning. "Here I am simply 'Jack,' and I choose you as my 'Jill'"
He turned me around to face him and kissed me warmly.
The touch of his lips somewhat banished my fears. I realized that Elsinore was for Hamlet, as it was for me, a gilded cage.
"In these woods and cottages there are no envious eyes, no carping tongues, no gossip or lies," I said. "So let us remain in this place always and speak only simple truth to each other." I rested my cheek against the rough homespun of his jacket, knowing that my wish was a vain one.
As soon as I returned to Elsinore, I felt constrained to lie, to deceive the queen herself.
"What ails thee, Ophelia? You are wan and distracted today."
"I studied late last night," I said. "And then I did not sleep soundly." In truth, I was tired, for I had been stealing many hours from my rest to spend with Hamlet. My absences were beginning to displease Gertrude and she grew testy with me.
"I do not like it when I call and you cannot be found."
"I was in the garden getting herbs for Elnora," I lied again.
Soon Gertrude suspected that I had a lover. Summoning me, she tried to catch me off my guard.
"Fetch me some lavender water, Ophelia. And tell me, what is his name?"
"I do not know what you mean, my lady."
"It is as plain as the daylight that you are in love." She held up a trinket, dangling it before me. "Wouldn't you like to wear this beaded comb?"
"No, it becomes you better," I said, fastening the comb in her hair and avoiding her gaze.
"Does he love you back? Perhaps a word from me will help smooth the path of true love."
So Gertrude probed, while I denied that I loved anyone. How could I tell the queen that it was her son I desired? That we talked and laughed for hours together? That we pretended to be rustics not ruled by custom but free to choose our love?
I wanted to confide in Elnora but was certain that her loyalty to Gertrude would prevail over our friendship. There was no one else I trusted. And though I said nothing, everyone suspected that I had a suitor. Did my looks, though guarded, betray me? Did I murmur to myself? Surely not, but the ladies still gave me sly glances and attempted to guess the aim of my desire. It was wicked of me, but I let them believe I fancied Horatio, for his good reputation put him above all reproach.
Gertrude knew that I was deceiving her, and she in turn began to hold me at a distance. I was no longer asked to wait upon her or to read to her. While I was out of favor, Cristiana slipped into my place and worked her malice on the queen's mind.
When Gertrude spoke to me again, her tone was cold.
"I am told that you spend your days in the country with a common boy, that you dress like some farmer's daughter."
Her misunderstanding would have been comic had we read of it in a romantic fable. She and I could have laughed at the mother's blindness and pitied the plight of the unequal lovers. But this was no fiction. I merely hung my head as she poured out her disappointment on me.
"Do you thus repay my kindness by disgracing yourself?" she demanded. "Surely there is some gentleman at court whom you could favor."
I was dismayed to be so fallen from Gertrude's esteem.
"My heart is in such turmoil," I cried, unable to suppress my tears. "You are right; I love unworthily." That at least was true. "I will strive against it," I promised, a fresh lie.
"I hope that you will return to your senses, Ophelia. This madness does not become you."
I was sure that it was Cristiana who spied on me and told the queen what she saw. One day not long after the queen's lecture, I caught Cristiana in my chamber. I worried that she had searched my trunk, where my tokens and letters from Hamlet were
Similar Books
