with a glass in each hand, his eyes trained on my face. This was a slow dance of seduction, and I was so ready to sign up for it.
Hand ing me a glass, he brushed my cheek with the back of his hand as he looked down at me, devouring me with his intense gaze. I loved the way Nick touched me with such passion, yet at the same time reverently. He reached for a remote control and pressed it. Norah Jones’ sultry voice sprang to life. Another of my favorites. It was amazing that we liked so many of the same things. Nick settled onto the couch beside me, stroking my arm lazily with his fingertips.
“Tell me why – even though your gorgeous smile melts my heart – there is always a deep sadness in your eyes. Did he do that to you?” Talk about shooting straight. “I want to really know you, Natalie. What makes you happy and what makes you sad.”
H is fingertips were on my lips before I could say anything. “And don’t apologize or say you’re sorry. He is the one who should be sorry for putting it there.” His eyes flared and a small vein ticked in his neck.
I didn’t really want to talk about my nearly ex-husband or my wounds and demons. I wanted Nick to take me in his arms and kiss me till I was breathless. But he genuinely wanted to know me better, to see the real me behind the mask.
A verting my gaze, I sat silently for a few moments, struggling to find the right words. How does one articulate years of pain without sounding bitter?
He took my hands in his and gently caressed over my knuckles, waiting patiently for my answer. His eyes, framed by long thick lashes, searched mine.
Finally I found the words, my voice barely above a whisper. “Our marriage ended a long time before we separated. At first we just fell into a comfortable silence, not talking to one another much. We each started doing our own thing, pursuing different hobbies and spending more time with friends than with one another.” My breath hitched, and I let out a deep sigh.
“ Eventually even the sex stopped. Gabriel said I wasn’t… attractive to him anymore… that he had no desire… to make love to me.” I closed my eyes, feeling the hurt squeeze my heart.
“ We slept at opposite ends of a huge king-size bed, our backs to one another. Me – mostly because he reeked of alcohol and my stomach lurched when he breathed on me. Him – because he lost all interest in me, even holding me or kissing me. We were two strangers trapped in the same house.” My voice choked at the memory. I fell quiet again, rubbing at the pain in my chest.
Nick stroked up and down my arms, not saying a word, encouraging me to continue with his silence.
Now that I had started talking, it was cleansing – cathartic even – to share the feelings I had buried so deeply with someone who really seemed to care. “Sometimes, not often though, we would go out to dinner on a birthday or anniversary. I would try desperately to make conversation – talking about anything just to get him to converse with me – to see me . He would answer in monosyllables, his gaze darting around the room, looking anywhere but at me. He was clearly bored and always in a hurry to leave, relieved when it was over.”
I shook my head, trying to shake the desolation buried in the far corner of my soul. “ He never held my hand as we walked, or kissed me goodbye. It felt as if I was invisible .” I suppressed a sob and continued purging, “Gabe made me feel unworthy. Unworthy of his time, his companionship – his love.”
M y gut wrenched. “It was the hardest thing I ever did, walking away from my marriage. But I couldn’t settle for that life any longer.”
Chapter Thirteen
Nick
“Dear God,” I breathed, unable to keep my silence any longer. The fool! I could strangle him with my bare hands! How could he inflict this much pain on the woman he was married to and supposedly loved?
But I needed to know this about Natalie if I was going to make her mine. I needed to know
Hand ing me a glass, he brushed my cheek with the back of his hand as he looked down at me, devouring me with his intense gaze. I loved the way Nick touched me with such passion, yet at the same time reverently. He reached for a remote control and pressed it. Norah Jones’ sultry voice sprang to life. Another of my favorites. It was amazing that we liked so many of the same things. Nick settled onto the couch beside me, stroking my arm lazily with his fingertips.
“Tell me why – even though your gorgeous smile melts my heart – there is always a deep sadness in your eyes. Did he do that to you?” Talk about shooting straight. “I want to really know you, Natalie. What makes you happy and what makes you sad.”
H is fingertips were on my lips before I could say anything. “And don’t apologize or say you’re sorry. He is the one who should be sorry for putting it there.” His eyes flared and a small vein ticked in his neck.
I didn’t really want to talk about my nearly ex-husband or my wounds and demons. I wanted Nick to take me in his arms and kiss me till I was breathless. But he genuinely wanted to know me better, to see the real me behind the mask.
A verting my gaze, I sat silently for a few moments, struggling to find the right words. How does one articulate years of pain without sounding bitter?
He took my hands in his and gently caressed over my knuckles, waiting patiently for my answer. His eyes, framed by long thick lashes, searched mine.
Finally I found the words, my voice barely above a whisper. “Our marriage ended a long time before we separated. At first we just fell into a comfortable silence, not talking to one another much. We each started doing our own thing, pursuing different hobbies and spending more time with friends than with one another.” My breath hitched, and I let out a deep sigh.
“ Eventually even the sex stopped. Gabriel said I wasn’t… attractive to him anymore… that he had no desire… to make love to me.” I closed my eyes, feeling the hurt squeeze my heart.
“ We slept at opposite ends of a huge king-size bed, our backs to one another. Me – mostly because he reeked of alcohol and my stomach lurched when he breathed on me. Him – because he lost all interest in me, even holding me or kissing me. We were two strangers trapped in the same house.” My voice choked at the memory. I fell quiet again, rubbing at the pain in my chest.
Nick stroked up and down my arms, not saying a word, encouraging me to continue with his silence.
Now that I had started talking, it was cleansing – cathartic even – to share the feelings I had buried so deeply with someone who really seemed to care. “Sometimes, not often though, we would go out to dinner on a birthday or anniversary. I would try desperately to make conversation – talking about anything just to get him to converse with me – to see me . He would answer in monosyllables, his gaze darting around the room, looking anywhere but at me. He was clearly bored and always in a hurry to leave, relieved when it was over.”
I shook my head, trying to shake the desolation buried in the far corner of my soul. “ He never held my hand as we walked, or kissed me goodbye. It felt as if I was invisible .” I suppressed a sob and continued purging, “Gabe made me feel unworthy. Unworthy of his time, his companionship – his love.”
M y gut wrenched. “It was the hardest thing I ever did, walking away from my marriage. But I couldn’t settle for that life any longer.”
Chapter Thirteen
Nick
“Dear God,” I breathed, unable to keep my silence any longer. The fool! I could strangle him with my bare hands! How could he inflict this much pain on the woman he was married to and supposedly loved?
But I needed to know this about Natalie if I was going to make her mine. I needed to know
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