One Small Thing

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Authors: Jessica Barksdale Inclan
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because they hadn’t wanted to come here , Avery thought. They hadn’t wanted to see what this was about. They cut themselves off, one more time, from Dan because of who he’d been, what he’d done, his past that trailed behind him. They didn’t like the real Dan, the one she was just beginning to know.
     
    Dan shook his head. “God.”
     
    “So, I’m going to FedEx you this paperwork, and the sooner you get to the doctor, the better for the boy.”
     
    The boy. The boy . Avery finally spoke, hearing the jerk of surprise in Midori Nolan’s voice. “The boy. What’s his name?”
     
    “Mrs. Tacconi?”
     
    “Yes.”
     
    “Oh. Hello. I didn’t know you were there.”
     
    Avery pressed the phone against her check and brought a hand to her throat. She was here. She’d heard it all. “I am.”
     
    “HHHHhhWell. The boy. Daniel. His name is Daniel.”
     
     
     
     
     
    After they’d both hung up the phones--Midori Nolan assured that Dan would get the DNA test, call his lawyer, call the social worker in Contra Costa County who would be handling the case from this end--they stared at each other. Avery wondered how they were supposed to turn off the lights and go to bed. How would it be possible to slip back into the rhythm of life that was based on lies? But yet, it was Dan in front of her. Dan. She wanted to move next to him and run her fingers through his thick dark hair, comforting him as she might a child.
     
    “Aves,” he said finally, standing up from the counter. He stopped, swallowed, ran his own fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his eyes. As long as she’d known him, Avery had never seen Dan hurt, at least for long. Sometimes after conversations with his parents or Jared, he’d flare quickly or stand still for a moment, his arms crossed, but he’d never let her see what she saw in his face now. She wanted to walk to him and comfort him. She wished she could make things better, but did she? After all the lies he’d told—or was it truths he hadn’t said? Avery shook her head and bit her lower lip.
     
    “Don’t. Let’s not talk about it right now. I can’t hear any more. Not one more word. Let’s just go to bed.”
     
    “But—“
     
    She raised her hand. “Seriously. I can’t.”
     
    “All right.” As he followed her into the bedroom, both of them flicking off lights as they went, she could feel his eyes on her neck, and she wanted to cover it with her hands. He couldn’t look at her bare skin, when she’d never seen him at all.
     
    He had known everything, her feelings about her father and mother. He knew that the very inside parts of her wouldn’t do what they were supposed to, and during all her confessions and pleas and talks, he’d never said, “We all have past.,” After any one of her crying fits about something or another, he could have launched into the story of Randi and their eight long years together. And he wouldn’t have had to lay it all out at once. A casual remark, leading to details. A remembrance. A recollection. A confession late at night after lovemaking. Slowly, he could have unraveled the twisted story. Now she could see why it had happened, Bill so strict, so firm, so unyielding, the exactly the father she’d never want for her own children. Of course Dan had been unhappy in that house. So why didn’t he tell her, letting her know about the drugs and the stealing and the police? If he’d revealed it bit by bit, piece by piece, she could have put his past together with the person he was now and still believed in him. But to hold it all in! Why?
     
    Avery went into the bathroom and closed the door, leaning against it and staring at herself in the mirror. In the bedroom, she heard Dan’s shoes thunk to the carpeted floor, drawers opening and closing, the quiet squeak of the bed. Now, she had to sleep with the past and Dan in one bed. She didn’t know if there was room for them all.
     
    In bed, her arm pressing down the blanket

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