Read Online One of the Guys by Lisa Aldin - Free Book Online Page A

crosses the room. The heels of her boots leave marks in the carpet like footprints in snow.
    â€œIs that really your costume?” she asks.
    As I spin around, presenting my outfit, the rusty bell around my neck produces a hollow clank. “Isn’t it awesome?”
    â€œYou’re a cow.”
    â€œOh, good. I was worried you wouldn’t be able to tell.” I adjust the pink plastic udders on my stomach. The black-and-white-spotted jumpsuit hangs loose, but I don’t mind. The hat, complete with pink fuzzy ears and a pair of horns, fits perfectly, but the best part is I can wear sneakers. I’ll be comfortable all night.
    â€œI can’t see your body ,” Emma says, tilting her head. “You might as well be wearing a garbage bag.”
    â€œAnd?” A garbage bag . Could be a good costume for next year.
    â€œThere will be boys at this party.” She fiddles with her silver stud earrings. “Cute boys. Right?”
    â€œIf people show up. Ollie isn’t exactly Mr. Popular.” Ollie flies under the radar at Burlington High. We all did. So I have a hard time picturing him as a Party God. Plus he’s not a crowd person. He once told me he likes the alone time he gets on his snowboard, how he can’t hear anyone telling him what to do. The fact that he’s throwing this party still feels weird.
    â€œDon’t you want to show off your assets?” Emma asks.
    I study my body. “I didn’t know I had any.”
    â€œBlasphemy! You’ve got a banging body, Toni! I’m sorry, but I can’t in good conscience let you hide those legs!” She advances toward me.
    I take a step back. “Um…this isn’t where we cue to the Movie Makeover montage, is it?”
    Emma grins.

    An hour later, my cow costume’s mutilated. Poor cow. It happened so quickly. Scissors and fabric flew through the air. Makeup brushes dusted my cheeks. Lip gloss sparkled under the bedroom light. I stare at the remnants of the black-and-white jumpsuit lying dead on the carpet, feeling naked.
    â€œYou’re still a cow,” Emma says, slipping on a pair of purple high heels. She doesn’t go anywhere without at least two outfits. “You’re just a cute cow now. Ha. That rhymed.”
    The knee-high boots I borrowed from Emma pinch my toes, dig into my heels, and make me dizzy. I’m not a tall girl, and I don’t want to be. It’s not natural for me to see the world from way up here. The fishnet stockings itch my thighs, and the lip gloss tastes like fruity chemicals. My boobs spill out of the black tank top (an old piece of my wardrobe from junior high that Emma found in my closet), and Emma’s black mini-skirt is at least two sizes too small.
    I’m exposed. At least she let me keep the cow bell around my neck.
    â€œYour crush will faint when he sees you tonight,” Emma says, studying me like I’m her masterpiece. She finishes cutting up the hat and ties the ears in my hair like a headband.
    I adjust the underwear riding up my butt. “My what?”
    â€œYou don’t have to tell me who he is.” Emma powders my nose. “We don’t know each other well enough to be trading secrets yet.”
    â€œI don’t have a crush.” I pull up the tank top. Immediately, Emma yanks it back down. I have some serious cleavage. Did my boobs grow two sizes in an hour? Emma must be some kind of boob magician.
    â€œSeriously?” She tilts her head. “Not even a little one?”
    â€œIt’s possible to go through life without being love-crazy,” I say. I’m proof of that. I’ve survived this far.
    Emma’s eyes widen. “Yeah, but what a sad way to go through it.”
    I’m not lying. I don’t have a crush at the moment, but I’ve had my share of them before. Those boys blend together in my mind, a merry-go-round of passing faces, and I barely remember some of their names.