chairs around it. Paperwork on the table, several pens.
"Please," Issa said, picking up on my eye movements. "Let's sit."
"Yes, thank you," I said, taking the closest chair.
There were no windows in the room. Blond wood cabinets were labeled with things like tongue depressors, needles and gloves. There was a biohazard sticker on the trash can in the corner. The air was stale, smelling of carpet cleaner and French fries. I could picture staff stealing away in here for lunch. It was quiet.
We sat down, me on one side, them on the other. Jimmy was about to start explaining the paperwork to me. He'd taken a big breath and made his face serious, confident, grave almost. I held out my hand. "Before we get into all that," I said. "There is something I need to tell you. I don't know if it affects the procedure today but I was drugged last night."
"What do you mean?" Dr. Tor asked, his face going a little bit pale.
"I was at the parade where the attack happened."
Both men sat back from the table, as though my words had pushed them into their chairs. I smiled and blushed, feeling awkward all of a sudden. As if being there, witnessing that horrible thing, left a stain on me. My face burned hotter when I thought about after the parade. The way I'd attacked Michael. The way I'd felt Emmanuel's heart beating... mesmerizing.
"Can you excuse us for a moment?" Issa asked, turning to Jimmy.
Gandolf was surprised. He gripped the arms of his chair and his neck snapped to look at Issa like a lizard, fast and focused. They stared at each other for a moment. Tension built in the air until I felt a little like I was suffocating. I wondered why they would make a room like this with no windows. Wasn't that illegal?
Gandolf pushed his chair back; it scraped on the linoleum floor. He cleared his throat before nodding at me, then left the room. There was silence for a few moments after the door clicked shut. I like that sound, of well-oiled metal jolting into place.
Issa spread his fingers on the table and smiled at me. "So you were at the parade?"
"Yes, and I was drinking and I think someone put something in my beer." I said it with my shoulders back, like I wasn't ashamed.
Issa nodded. "What was your experience?" he asked.
"The..." I paused for a moment, my mouth hanging open, unsure how to describe the feelings that had ridden me. That I could still feel traveling through my veins. "I guess you would call them physical hallucinations."
"In what way?"
I stared at the table, focusing on the grain of the fake wood. "Like..." I wet my lips, feeling that emptiness, the need to be filled. "I could feel things." I glanced up at the doctor. He was staring at me, his eyes narrowed, head nodding slightly, as if he was agreeing with me. "I could feel my friend's heartbeat. And..." I didn't want to tell him about Michael, it wasn't really any of his business.
Issa leaned forward and smiled at me. I kept my eyes off his. "Darling, I'm your doctor. You can tell me anything."
I picked up the glass of water and took a quick sip. "I kissed someone—without realizing I was doing it," I answered honestly. I looked up at him, he didn't seem surprised. "I had to be pulled off him."
Issa nodded. "We can continue with the operation," he said.
"Don't you want to test me or something?"
He shook his head. "That's unnecessary. I'll invite Jimmy back in." He stood and we continued. Everything was the same as the other two times I'd donated. We signed paperwork. The operation was explained to me. Needles in my hips, extraction of bone marrow, etc. I wouldn't be awake for any of it. 100, 99, 98, 97, and I was gone.
****
I came out of the darkness slowly, like I was deep in a crevice in the earth but could see a slit of light above me. Floating up toward it, I felt a sense of peace. I blinked at the bright light and saw a figure standing over me. My mouth felt dry and I swallowed, though it seemed more difficult than it needed to be. I blinked again and the
P. F. Chisholm
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William W. Johnstone
M. William Phelps
Magan Vernon, Marked Hearts
Sara Schoen
John Lundin
James M. Cain
Cindy Gerard