Read Online On This Foundation by Lynn Austin - Free Book Online Page B

to the evening and their guest. She didn’t know what to say, unwilling to raise everyone’s hopes—especially her own. “He’s very nice,” she finally said. “I’m glad we invited him. I’m glad we’ll see him again.”
    She was in bed, almost asleep when Yudit whispered, “Chana? Are you awake?”
    â€œYes . . . What is it?”
    â€œI don’t want you to feel obligated to marry Malkijah—especially for my sake. I just wish . . . I wish you were yourself again, you know? . . . That you were happy again. Abba and Sarah and I . . . we just want you to be the way you used to be before . . .”
    â€œBefore Yitzhak died? You can say his name, Yudit.” She recalled what Malkijah had said about people being afraid to mention lost loved ones, and how sometimes we need to talk about them. He truly did understand. “I’m sorry for being so sad, Yudit. But each day gets a little better. I’m happier today than I was yesterday or the day before. And I believe I’ll be a little happier tomorrow.” She hoped it was true.
    â€œThat’s good. I’m glad. . . . Good night. ”
    â€œGood night, Yudit.”

Chapter
6

    T HE C ITADEL OF S USA M AY
    N early a month had passed since Nehemiah said good-bye to his brother, but the weight of sorrow he felt over Hanani’s description of ruined Jerusalem never lifted. On a warm spring morning when the king called for wine, Nehemiah carried it up to the throne room himself, passing through the familiar succession of hallways and inner chambers and security doors. King Artaxerxes sat on his throne with his queen beside him, conducting state business and listening to petitions from a seemingly endless parade of courtiers. As Nehemiah poured out the king’s wine and placed it in his hand, his thoughts were on Jerusalem, and he silently asked God to show him what he could do.
    â€œAre you ill, Nehemiah?”
    He looked up, startled from his thoughts. King Artaxerxes was speaking to him. Nehemiah’s heart sped up. “No, Your Majesty. I’m not ill.” He had never been sad in the king’s presence before. It went against all the rules for a servant to allow his emotions to show. In fact, Nehemiah had warned all of his staff members that no matter how serious their personal problemswere, they must keep their feelings to themselves and display a cheerful disposition in the king’s presence. A servant’s duty was to be positive and encouraging. But today Nehemiah’s heavy heart prevented him from keeping up the façade.
    â€œThen why does your face look so sad when you are not ill?” the king asked. Nehemiah’s heart slammed harder against his ribs. The queen, seated beside Artaxerxes, also looked concerned. Nehemiah knew from Esther’s story that a Persian queen could be very influential. But having the king’s attention was so surprising, so unexpected, that he couldn’t seem to find his voice.
    â€œThis can be nothing but sadness of heart,” Artaxerxes said.
    Nehemiah nodded. Should he tell the king that his brother had recently returned to Jerusalem? That he would never see him again? It would be the truth. But what if this was a God-given opportunity to intercede for Jerusalem? Nehemiah sent up a quick, silent prayer. O Lord, give your servant success today by granting me favor in the presence of this man. Then he cleared the knot of fear from his throat.
    â€œYour Majesty is very perceptive,” he replied. “It is sadness of heart.”
    â€œGo on . . .”
    Nehemiah’s legs felt limp. Might the king interpret his unhappiness as disloyalty? After all, a discontented servant had murdered Artaxerxes’ father. Nehemiah’s mouth felt as if he’d swallowed sand as he said, “May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when