On the Outside Looking In (Wrong Reasons)

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Authors: JL Paul
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about plumbing.”
    “You don’t need to know anything,” he said, one leg out of the door. 
    “What am I supposed to do – carry your toolbox?”
    Chuckling, he reached over to shut off the engine.  “No.  It’s a simple thing, actually.  Just unclog a sink.”
    “Great,” I said, yanking my keys from his hand.  “How do we get in?”
    He produced a set of keys from his jacket pocket as he climbed out of the car.  With a sigh, I did the same, slamming the door.
    “Don’t you need tools?” I asked.
    He walked around the car, meeting me on the sidewalk, and lifted a brow.  “Offering to carry my toolbox?”
    “Not at all, but how are you supposed to fix something without tools?”
    “Watch.”
    We entered the second floor apartment and were immediately assaulted with the smell – stale booze, lingering tobacco, and old pizza.  Crinkling my nose, I walked through the living room strewn with beer cans, pizza boxes, and overflowing ashtrays.  Posters of popular heavy metal bands and models in tiny bikinis were tacked to the beige walls.  A matching set of battered recliners were situated in front of an entertainment center full of video gaming equipment.
    “Looks like someone had one hell of a Halloween party,” Evan said, laughing.  “Bet it was fun.”
    I didn’t comment.
    The kitchen was smaller than the living room but equally as filthy.  Dirty dishes lined the counters along with takeout containers containing scrapes of rotting chicken, hamburgers, and fries.  The contents of the garbage can spilled to the floor in front of a rickety microwave cart.
    “How do people live like this?” I whispered.
    “They’re college students,” Evan said as he peered into a sink full of murky, stinky water.  “They’re busy.”
    “I’m a busy college student but I still make time to pick up after myself,” I said.
    Evan picked up a bottle of cheap, department store drain opener and shook the bottle, smug smile on his lips.  “Amateurs.”
    “Oh, and you’re a master plumber?”
    “No, but I know better than to use this shit,” he said.  “Wait right here.  I need to grab some stuff from the maintenance closet downstairs.”
    I nodded even though I didn’t want to remain in that nasty apartment any longer than necessary – and especially not by myself.  For all I knew, the rats, mice, and roaches would be making an appearance – and I could not stand any of those creatures.
    Evan reappeared a few minutes later with a bucket and a large, gray bottle.  He held it up, shaking it at me, like I knew what it was.  I stood back and watched him bail the water out of the sink with a cup, dumping it into the bucket.  When the bottom of the sink was visible, he poured the contents of the bottle into the drain slowly, and then stood back, screwing on the cap.
    “We just need to wait fifteen minutes and then flush it with hot tap water,” he explained.
    “Great,” I said, pulling my jacket tighter.
    “Ah, don’t let the mess bother you,” he said, setting the bottle on the counter.  “This place isn’t as bad as some of the other places.”
    “I find that hard to believe,” I said.
    Laughing, he snatched a wobbly chair out from under an equally wobbly table and scooted it my way.
    “No thanks, I’m good,” I said.
    “Suit yourself.”
    Eerie silence hovered above us like an awkward bird, daring us to make conversation.  I stood there, wondering why I was in a stranger’s nasty apartment with a guy I barely knew.  How in the world had I gotten myself into such a situation? I imagined what Irelyn or Bailey would do if they were in my shoes.  Irelyn, most likely, would think of something to talk about to put everyone at ease.  Bailey would use her snark to make things interesting.  Me, though, not so much.  I was just boring.  And I was tired of being boring.
    “Let me see if it’s working,” Evan finally said as he peered into the sink.  He turned on the tap, his finger

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