did?"
"Then we should do it in exactly the same spot and send her a picture."
He blinked. "That's…a really evil idea."
"Evil ideas are my bad girl super power."
His wide eyes narrowed in appreciation. "I really do like bad girls…"
"I finally believe you," I said, with a chuckle. "So show me where I should plant my ass to erase Maureen from your mattress."
He grinned. "You've long since erased her. Besides, I never did it with Maureen here. Sadly, this mattress has seen distressingly little action."
Straddling his leg and donning the santa hat from his bed post, I said, "Well, Soldier, that's about to change."
To my surprise, his smile fell away. "Ok, but before it does…I've got to tell you something."
Uh oh . So there really was another shoe and it was about to drop right down the chimney. "Okay," I said, shakily, because even fully dressed, I felt softer and more vulnerable than I could ever remember feeling. "Is it bad?"
"You're probably going to think so."
I felt my brow furrow. "Then just say it."
"I'm so into you, Becca, that I feel like I'm lost right now," he said, with an honest-to-god scowl. "I mean, I've always been into you. I never lied about that. But what we just did together cracked open something inside me and got mixed all together with you."
My heart actually squeezed inside my chest. "Oh, Ben—"
"Look, I know it's not cool to talk about this shit in a pre-coital haze. It's all sugary and traditional and small-town and everything you hate—"
"Ben—"
"I get it, Becca. You drew your boundaries and I ought to respect them. I'm fucking up a perfect night right now. Trust me, I know. I don't want to kill the mood, but I feel like it's going to kill me if I don't tell you how I feel. You're the girl. You've always been the girl. I tried to let this be a fling . I really did. And maybe right up until this moment I could let it be. I've held my shit together until now. But for me, going forward, it's not a fling, it's a thing . So—"
" Ben! " I took his face in my hands to shut him up. "It's absolutely a thing . For me too, okay?"
He let out a breath, then touched his forehead to mine. "Yeah?"
"Definitely. But let's talk about it after I screw your brains out."
Chapter Six
I lay sprawled on Ben's body, which had burned like a fireplace all night. I was sore all over. My hair a wild tangle on his broad chest. And as I blinked from sleep in the cramped confines of Ben's boyhood bed, I was blinded by dazzling morning light filtering in through the frosted window…
Morning?
Sunlight?
Shit!
In a panic, I tried to untangle myself from his arms, but they were like dead weights. "Ben," I whispered, but he didn't stir. And while I might've taken some satisfaction in the fact that I'd worn him out, I really needed him to wake up. "Ben!"
He groaned happily as if in pleasure to feel me there next to him, rolling over so that I was even more tightly trapped against his body.
"Ben, wake up!"
"Am I dreaming?" he croaked, without opening his eyes. "Because if so, it's an awesome dream."
"It's morning! " I hissed.
Ben wiped sleep from his eyes and stretched. "It's also a holiday. Everybody's sleeping in."
But I could hear the strains of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer floating up the stairs and the scent of bold, rich, coffee filled the air. "Crap! Ben, you have to sneak me out of the house."
Ben laughed. "What are you going to do, climb out my window?"
"That's a great idea!"
"Or, we could just go downstairs and have breakfast."
That'd be nice. Normal. But nothing about last night had been normal. "Your mom—"
"We can all be adults about this."
"No we can't," I said, crawling out of his arms to grope the floor for my panties. And bra. And dress. And, what had happened to the thigh high stockings?
From the rumpled bed, Ben sighed. "I was wondering when the panic was going to set back in…"
I shot him a look over my shoulder. "I'm not panicking."
"So, you're totally okay with us
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