On Kingdom Mountain

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Authors: Howard Frank Mosher
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Jane repeated, “the place
that we now call Kingdom County would have been scarcely recognizable to us. The mountains were thrice their current height. The forests were uninhabited, even by my mother’s Memphremagog ancestors. Now enter the great ice sheet—”
    â€œObjection, Your Honor,” Eben Kinneson Esquire interrupted. “We all appreciate the fact that my cousin is an able lecturer. But what bearing does the glaciation of northern New England have upon the town’s very generous offer to pay her three times the value of the land appropriated for the right of way and to reroute the Connector around her beloved spawning pool?”
    â€œJane?” Judge Allen said.
    â€œA gang of Frenchmen in the pay of the Great North Woods Pulp and Paper Company waltzed onto my property without my permission and destroyed the last tract of original forest on Kingdom Mountain. They wantonly despoiled a stretch of river where the descendants of the unique blue-backed char that came south with the glacier have spawned for thousands of years.”
    â€œJudge Allen,” Eben said, “we must protest. Miss Kinneson’s reputation as a venerable fixture of Kingdom County notwithstanding, even she was not here to witness those fish spawning thousands of years ago, and so cannot speak with authority on how long the spawning beds have—”
    Crack.
Before Eben Kinneson Esquire could finish his sentence, Miss Jane reached across the aisle and brought her wooden pointer smartly down on his knuckles. The astonished attorney gave a yelp and half rose.
    â€œThat, sir, is how I dealt with impudence in my schoolroom,” Miss Jane said. “It is how I deal with your impudence. Sit down and curb your impertinent tongue.”
    Eben Kinneson Esquire rubbed his knuckles. A smile played at the corners of Henry Satterfield’s mouth, and his dark eyes gleamed. But Judge Allen brought down his gavel with a bang.
“Jane, there will be no more corporal punishment meted out in this courtroom. As for you, Eben, stop your whining. There will be no more unchivalrous references to the plaintiff’s longevity, either. Hear me well, my friends. This is not Kingdom Mountain nor yet the august headquarters of the Great North Woods Pulp and Paper Company, Incorporated. It is my courtroom. In it we will conduct ourselves with a measure of civility. Jane, you may proceed with your opening statement. Please do us the kindness of making it shorter rather than longer.”
    â€œKingdom Mountain has always been regarded as a gore,” she said quite defiantly, “one of the last in Vermont. In other words, an unincorporated township unto itself. No Kingdom Mountain Kinneson has ever paid a penny of local, state, or federal taxes. The mountain belongs to me and to me alone. I am requesting one thousand dollars as reparation for my timber and an injunction to prevent the high road from crossing my property. Case closed.”
    Jane sat down at the plaintiff’s table beside Henry.
    â€œThat’s all?” Eben said.
    â€œHow long does it take to chronicle a grievous wrong and propose away to right it? The truth, cousin, need never be long in the telling. The floor belongs to you.”
    Eben Kinneson Esquire smiled thinly and stood up. Continuing to rub his reddened left knuckles with his right hand, he said, with a superior air, “Your honor, the Great North Woods Pulp and Paper Company and the township of Kingdom Common acknowledge that one of their subcontractors cut a few hundred dollars’ worth of timber on Miss Kinneson’s property. No doubt some minor alterations were made to the riverine terrain. No documented injury was suffered by the fish. Have any dead fish been exhibited before the court? No. Has the defense produced any witnesses? No again. The Great North Woods Company, however, will produce witnesses.
We
will follow proper courtroom protocol. But why waste the time

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