Then she stormed off.
Jenâs aura is not golden â it is very red and unreasonable and she puts sea mammals before her friends.
5.39 p.m.
This is partly Keithâs fault â I was sympathetic to Jenâs weirdoness before HE happened.
7.11 p.m.
I hate falling out with Jen â sheâs like my mad weird sister. More than MGK will EVER be. I was an idiot.
9.23 p.m.
Weirdo Jen and me gave each other a hug and we both said sorry. She said she just wanted me to be âopen-mindedâ. I promised Iâd never eat an endangered-animal sandwich even if I found a roll big enough. I also told her I loved her and Iâm open to her. Iâm just closed to Keith. The truth is, heâs hurt me. I thought he would LOVE me and be my friend. Heâs just a friend of the Earth. Thereâs no room for the actual people who live on it in Keithâs brain.
9.51 p.m.
The terrible truth is I think Keith would love me more and GET me more if I was a squid.
W EDNESDAY 13 TH J ANUARY
8.12 p.m.
Itâs the middle of January and I am nowhere near finding love . Inside my heart I thought me and Goose would be planning holidays by now.
9.34 p.m.
Just remembered! Something happened today that confirmed my belief that men never grow up. The boys all started playing âSpot the Penisâ in a
Chemistry for You
textbook during break. Basically Nicky âbad boyâ Bainton had drawn tiny menâs bits in the illustrations and photos and the other boys had to find them. There was one in the photo of the man at the petrol station, one in the illustration of an atom and 2 in the periodic table. This was apparently HILARIOUS.
Iâm definitely becoming a feminist â but a feminist with a love agenda.
9.54 p.m.
Dimple and Weirdo Jen agree feminism is the way to go. As long as you can still wax and snog.
T HURSDAY 14 TH J ANUARY
6.24 p.m.
Out of the blue! (Men are FOR EVER immature and totally unpredictable!)
Keith has suggested that âweâ go and see him in Australia over the summer holiday. âWeâ cannot mean Nathan after the sausage. That sausage SEALED it. IT MUST MEAN ME AND MGK.
1.   WITH MGK?!!
2.   Thatâs MILES off anyway.
3.   What if Iâm in a relationship?
4.   Does a feminist do what a man wants her to do?!
Dimple and Weirdo Jen think itâs the chance of a lifetime. If I do go I will Skype them every day!
7.12 p.m.
OMG! Keith doesnât have the Internet! He goes to the library to write his blog! I canât go to that level of country-style backwardness!
7.39 p.m.
I can totally tell that Mum is secretly so THRILLED that me and Keith arenât best friends by now. I must make more effort with him.
8.27 p.m.
Goose (who likes everyone) admitted today that he doesnât exactly LOVE Keith either. He thinks heâs a MASSIVE kid. âAnd if he upsets you at ALL, Hattie, I donât like him anyway.â ENORMOUS DORKERY â but cute!
8.42 p.m.
Very cute.
TOTALLY cute. BUT heâs not interested. Heâs like all men. Reptiles and mammals and trees come first.
Actually thatâs not fair. Rob puts me first.
8.58 p.m.
He does love his car though. He calls her Pat â after an ex-girlfriend who, he says âwas wonderful to be with and easy to controlâ. LOL!
9.52 p.m.
Actually thatâs not funny â thatâs SEXIST! Is Rob a secret anti-feminist person?!
10.22 p.m.
I just asked Rob if he believed in the power of women. He said totally. He believes in the power of women, except in 3-point turns. Apparently we canât do those as well as men.
10.49 p.m.
Mum heard Rob say that men are better at driving than women and went mental at him! They are now having a competition in the road. Itâs nearly 11 at night!
11.02 p.m.
Rob beat Mum but only because she said she had to do an emergency stop to avoid a cat. Now she is shouting at Rob that men have to win no matter what
Jenâs aura is not golden â it is very red and unreasonable and she puts sea mammals before her friends.
5.39 p.m.
This is partly Keithâs fault â I was sympathetic to Jenâs weirdoness before HE happened.
7.11 p.m.
I hate falling out with Jen â sheâs like my mad weird sister. More than MGK will EVER be. I was an idiot.
9.23 p.m.
Weirdo Jen and me gave each other a hug and we both said sorry. She said she just wanted me to be âopen-mindedâ. I promised Iâd never eat an endangered-animal sandwich even if I found a roll big enough. I also told her I loved her and Iâm open to her. Iâm just closed to Keith. The truth is, heâs hurt me. I thought he would LOVE me and be my friend. Heâs just a friend of the Earth. Thereâs no room for the actual people who live on it in Keithâs brain.
9.51 p.m.
The terrible truth is I think Keith would love me more and GET me more if I was a squid.
W EDNESDAY 13 TH J ANUARY
8.12 p.m.
Itâs the middle of January and I am nowhere near finding love . Inside my heart I thought me and Goose would be planning holidays by now.
9.34 p.m.
Just remembered! Something happened today that confirmed my belief that men never grow up. The boys all started playing âSpot the Penisâ in a
Chemistry for You
textbook during break. Basically Nicky âbad boyâ Bainton had drawn tiny menâs bits in the illustrations and photos and the other boys had to find them. There was one in the photo of the man at the petrol station, one in the illustration of an atom and 2 in the periodic table. This was apparently HILARIOUS.
Iâm definitely becoming a feminist â but a feminist with a love agenda.
9.54 p.m.
Dimple and Weirdo Jen agree feminism is the way to go. As long as you can still wax and snog.
T HURSDAY 14 TH J ANUARY
6.24 p.m.
Out of the blue! (Men are FOR EVER immature and totally unpredictable!)
Keith has suggested that âweâ go and see him in Australia over the summer holiday. âWeâ cannot mean Nathan after the sausage. That sausage SEALED it. IT MUST MEAN ME AND MGK.
1.   WITH MGK?!!
2.   Thatâs MILES off anyway.
3.   What if Iâm in a relationship?
4.   Does a feminist do what a man wants her to do?!
Dimple and Weirdo Jen think itâs the chance of a lifetime. If I do go I will Skype them every day!
7.12 p.m.
OMG! Keith doesnât have the Internet! He goes to the library to write his blog! I canât go to that level of country-style backwardness!
7.39 p.m.
I can totally tell that Mum is secretly so THRILLED that me and Keith arenât best friends by now. I must make more effort with him.
8.27 p.m.
Goose (who likes everyone) admitted today that he doesnât exactly LOVE Keith either. He thinks heâs a MASSIVE kid. âAnd if he upsets you at ALL, Hattie, I donât like him anyway.â ENORMOUS DORKERY â but cute!
8.42 p.m.
Very cute.
TOTALLY cute. BUT heâs not interested. Heâs like all men. Reptiles and mammals and trees come first.
Actually thatâs not fair. Rob puts me first.
8.58 p.m.
He does love his car though. He calls her Pat â after an ex-girlfriend who, he says âwas wonderful to be with and easy to controlâ. LOL!
9.52 p.m.
Actually thatâs not funny â thatâs SEXIST! Is Rob a secret anti-feminist person?!
10.22 p.m.
I just asked Rob if he believed in the power of women. He said totally. He believes in the power of women, except in 3-point turns. Apparently we canât do those as well as men.
10.49 p.m.
Mum heard Rob say that men are better at driving than women and went mental at him! They are now having a competition in the road. Itâs nearly 11 at night!
11.02 p.m.
Rob beat Mum but only because she said she had to do an emergency stop to avoid a cat. Now she is shouting at Rob that men have to win no matter what