Read Online Old Desires/A Stranger's Kiss (2-in-1 edition) by Liz Fielding - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Liz Fielding
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notebook, lying where it had fallen, on the floor. ‘No. Please don’t read it.’
‘I need to know, Holly.’
She closed her eyes. ‘You were right. Mary was my mother.’
‘The birth certificate?’
‘It wasn’t a deliberate deceit. It just happened. She used my mother’s—’ She stopped and carefully corrected herself. ‘She used Margaret Carpenter’s name at the clinic. They always notify the local health authority of births, apparently, and as I was on the records as Holly Carpenter there didn’t seem any point in owning up and putting it right. Apparently, Margaret and Peter were going to adopt me anyway. This saved them the bother.’
He frowned at the sharp bitterness in her voice. ‘I spent a lot of time thinking about it last night and had reached the same conclusion. That Mary had used your mother’s name seemed the only explanation.’
‘She wasn’t my mother,’ Holly said. ‘Neither of them was.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘Isn’t it?’ She turned on him. ‘One of them didn’t have me, one of them didn’t want me.’
He grasped her shoulders and held her at arm’s length. ‘Nothing’s ever that simple, Holly. When you’vehad time to think about it, I’m certain you’ll see it differently.’
‘I doubt it.’ She picked up one of the pathetic remnants of the brief affair. ‘This belonged to my father.’ She held out the handkerchief. ‘How would you feel if that was all you knew of your father?’
He saw the hurt, triedto help. ‘Perhaps I could find out more for you. It shouldn’t be impossible. Even after all this time.’
‘No! Hethought too much of his position in society to risk it for Mary, or to acknowledge my existence. I don’t want to know anything about him.’
‘Not now, perhaps, but one day…’ He shrugged. ‘It’s too easy for me to tell you not to judge them. I have no way of knowing what you’re feeling. Or what they felt at the time.’
‘Not enough apparently.’ Her father might not have wanted her, but Mary... It hurt. The pain was so deep that she thought she could die of it. ‘They should have told me.’
‘Yes, you’re right, they should have told you, but Mary thought you knew. Margaret had promised her that you would be told when you came of age. Presumably that was when she was supposed to give you this.’ He indicated the box.
‘But she didn’t.’
‘Perhaps Margaret Carpenter still thought of twenty-one as that special birthday. Or maybe it was just easier to put it off for as long as possible. She died a few days before your twenty-first birthday, didn’t she, Holly?’
‘Yes,’ she said, choking back a cry as the reason for her mother’s distractionstruck home. The reason she’d stepped out in front of a car. Confessing the truth must have been burning a hole in her mind.
She quickly pushed the memories of old desires back into their envelope in an effort to consign them to the past where they belonged but Joshua reached out and caught her wrist, stopping her.
‘What do you intend to do?’
‘Do?’
‘Come back to Ashbrooke with me,’ he said, drawing her into his arms, but she resisted this new attempt to comfort her. It would be too easy to be comforted by Joshua Kent. He knew all the right words. But then he would go away, back to Lisa Stamford or some other woman like her, and there would be no comfort in the world to make that hurt better.
‘Ashbrooke?’ she asked, then shook her head decisively. ‘It’s too late for that.’
‘Why? There’s the house.’
She refused to meet his eye. ‘Do what you like with it, Joshua. I don’t want it.’
‘Think about it for a while,’ he pressed her.
‘No. I never want to go there again.’ She deliberately made her voice hard.
‘If you’re certain. But you’ll have to decide—’
‘You decide for me, Joshua,’ she said wearily. ‘I have to go to work.’ He frowned. ‘I thought you worked this morning.’
‘Just catching up with
‘I need to know, Holly.’
She closed her eyes. ‘You were right. Mary was my mother.’
‘The birth certificate?’
‘It wasn’t a deliberate deceit. It just happened. She used my mother’s—’ She stopped and carefully corrected herself. ‘She used Margaret Carpenter’s name at the clinic. They always notify the local health authority of births, apparently, and as I was on the records as Holly Carpenter there didn’t seem any point in owning up and putting it right. Apparently, Margaret and Peter were going to adopt me anyway. This saved them the bother.’
He frowned at the sharp bitterness in her voice. ‘I spent a lot of time thinking about it last night and had reached the same conclusion. That Mary had used your mother’s name seemed the only explanation.’
‘She wasn’t my mother,’ Holly said. ‘Neither of them was.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘Isn’t it?’ She turned on him. ‘One of them didn’t have me, one of them didn’t want me.’
He grasped her shoulders and held her at arm’s length. ‘Nothing’s ever that simple, Holly. When you’vehad time to think about it, I’m certain you’ll see it differently.’
‘I doubt it.’ She picked up one of the pathetic remnants of the brief affair. ‘This belonged to my father.’ She held out the handkerchief. ‘How would you feel if that was all you knew of your father?’
He saw the hurt, triedto help. ‘Perhaps I could find out more for you. It shouldn’t be impossible. Even after all this time.’
‘No! Hethought too much of his position in society to risk it for Mary, or to acknowledge my existence. I don’t want to know anything about him.’
‘Not now, perhaps, but one day…’ He shrugged. ‘It’s too easy for me to tell you not to judge them. I have no way of knowing what you’re feeling. Or what they felt at the time.’
‘Not enough apparently.’ Her father might not have wanted her, but Mary... It hurt. The pain was so deep that she thought she could die of it. ‘They should have told me.’
‘Yes, you’re right, they should have told you, but Mary thought you knew. Margaret had promised her that you would be told when you came of age. Presumably that was when she was supposed to give you this.’ He indicated the box.
‘But she didn’t.’
‘Perhaps Margaret Carpenter still thought of twenty-one as that special birthday. Or maybe it was just easier to put it off for as long as possible. She died a few days before your twenty-first birthday, didn’t she, Holly?’
‘Yes,’ she said, choking back a cry as the reason for her mother’s distractionstruck home. The reason she’d stepped out in front of a car. Confessing the truth must have been burning a hole in her mind.
She quickly pushed the memories of old desires back into their envelope in an effort to consign them to the past where they belonged but Joshua reached out and caught her wrist, stopping her.
‘What do you intend to do?’
‘Do?’
‘Come back to Ashbrooke with me,’ he said, drawing her into his arms, but she resisted this new attempt to comfort her. It would be too easy to be comforted by Joshua Kent. He knew all the right words. But then he would go away, back to Lisa Stamford or some other woman like her, and there would be no comfort in the world to make that hurt better.
‘Ashbrooke?’ she asked, then shook her head decisively. ‘It’s too late for that.’
‘Why? There’s the house.’
She refused to meet his eye. ‘Do what you like with it, Joshua. I don’t want it.’
‘Think about it for a while,’ he pressed her.
‘No. I never want to go there again.’ She deliberately made her voice hard.
‘If you’re certain. But you’ll have to decide—’
‘You decide for me, Joshua,’ she said wearily. ‘I have to go to work.’ He frowned. ‘I thought you worked this morning.’
‘Just catching up with
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