Read Online Off to Be the Wizard - 2 - Spell or High Water by Scott Meyer - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Scott Meyer
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because they’ll see that we’ve arrived.”
Martin shook his head. “No, Phil, you’re looking at this all wrong. This isn’t just a bunch of people showing up for a meeting .”
“That’s exactly what it is,’ Phillip said.
“No, it’s not.” Martin said, before pausing, then adding, “Well, okay, it is, but it also isn’t.”
Phillip asked, “Did that sentence make sense to you when you planned it in your head, or do you just open your mouth and let the words fall out however they like?”
Martin took a moment to rephrase his thoughts. “It isn’t just a bunch of people arriving for a meeting. It’s also a group of important people greeting the world on behalf of their communities . It’s like the opening ceremony of the Olympics.”
Phillip said, “I was thinking it’d be more like a meeting of the UN.”
Gary said, “Really, I was picturing the Tri-Wizard tournament from Harry Potter.”
“Yeah, we know you were,” Martin muttered. Then, to Phillip , he said, “Look, I’ve given this some thought, and I think we need to make a big entrance, okay? Will you just go with me on this?”
“Fine,” Phillip said, just not wanting to argue about it. “Olympic opening ceremony. Whatever. Are you suggesting that we wear track suits and walk in a circle carrying a flag?”
Martin and Gary looked at each other. Martin said, “You know, that would be funny.”
Gary said, “No, you need something impressive. Something that will grab people’s attention.”
Phillip suggested, “How about if we two grown men appear out of thin air, looking like responsible, rational adults?”
Gary said, “That’s a start, but picture this: ‘two full grown men,’ as you say, crawl out of a fiery crack in the ground, spewing brimstone and damned souls.”
“Is the crack in the ground spewing brimstone, or are we?”
Gary said, “We can try it each way and keep whichever looks better.”
“I see what you’re saying, guys,” Phillip said, “but surely in a situation like this, less is more.”
“Yes,” Gary agreed, “and if less is more, then logically, more must be even more than that.”
Eventually Phillip surrendered. He told Gary and Martin to do what they liked, but he begged them not to make it too ostentatious .
Gary’s promise to make it just ostentatious enough did not make Phillip feel better.
Finally, the time came. Their suitcases were packed and in hand. Phillip’s was a hard-sided chocolate brown Samsonite , Martin’s was a black fabric rolling upright. Their hair was perfectly styled. Martin’s was spiky and crisp, Phillip’s was impeccably feathered and parted down the middle. They were ready to go.
They guys all gathered at Martin’s warehouse to see them off.
“Okay, everyone,” Phillip said. “We’ll be back in exactly two weeks.”
“Yeah, why is that, kid?” Roy asked. Being in his sixties , Roy delighted in calling Phillip kid . Being in his forties, Phillip delighted in finally having someone around who could plausibly call him kid . “Why come back in two weeks? You’re time travelers . Why not just come back the second after you left?”
“For quick trips, we usually do,” Phillip explained, “but sometimes, for longer trips, it’s just less confusing this way. Besides, when you’ve lived in the past for a while, you begin to realize that you don’t particularly need to see all of it.”
Martin asked Gary, “Is our entrance ready?”
“Yup,” Gary said, “I’ve got the macro set up so that it’ll automatically trigger off of the same phrase that transports you there.”
“Do I have to do anything special?” Phillip asked.
“No,” Gary said, “we’ve designed the whole thing around the idea that you’re gonna stand there like a stiff.”
“Wise,” said Phillip.
Tyler asked Martin, “What’s your plan with Gwen?”
Martin said, “I’m gonna try to be cool.”
It occurred to Phillip that the phrase try to be cool could
Martin shook his head. “No, Phil, you’re looking at this all wrong. This isn’t just a bunch of people showing up for a meeting .”
“That’s exactly what it is,’ Phillip said.
“No, it’s not.” Martin said, before pausing, then adding, “Well, okay, it is, but it also isn’t.”
Phillip asked, “Did that sentence make sense to you when you planned it in your head, or do you just open your mouth and let the words fall out however they like?”
Martin took a moment to rephrase his thoughts. “It isn’t just a bunch of people arriving for a meeting. It’s also a group of important people greeting the world on behalf of their communities . It’s like the opening ceremony of the Olympics.”
Phillip said, “I was thinking it’d be more like a meeting of the UN.”
Gary said, “Really, I was picturing the Tri-Wizard tournament from Harry Potter.”
“Yeah, we know you were,” Martin muttered. Then, to Phillip , he said, “Look, I’ve given this some thought, and I think we need to make a big entrance, okay? Will you just go with me on this?”
“Fine,” Phillip said, just not wanting to argue about it. “Olympic opening ceremony. Whatever. Are you suggesting that we wear track suits and walk in a circle carrying a flag?”
Martin and Gary looked at each other. Martin said, “You know, that would be funny.”
Gary said, “No, you need something impressive. Something that will grab people’s attention.”
Phillip suggested, “How about if we two grown men appear out of thin air, looking like responsible, rational adults?”
Gary said, “That’s a start, but picture this: ‘two full grown men,’ as you say, crawl out of a fiery crack in the ground, spewing brimstone and damned souls.”
“Is the crack in the ground spewing brimstone, or are we?”
Gary said, “We can try it each way and keep whichever looks better.”
“I see what you’re saying, guys,” Phillip said, “but surely in a situation like this, less is more.”
“Yes,” Gary agreed, “and if less is more, then logically, more must be even more than that.”
Eventually Phillip surrendered. He told Gary and Martin to do what they liked, but he begged them not to make it too ostentatious .
Gary’s promise to make it just ostentatious enough did not make Phillip feel better.
Finally, the time came. Their suitcases were packed and in hand. Phillip’s was a hard-sided chocolate brown Samsonite , Martin’s was a black fabric rolling upright. Their hair was perfectly styled. Martin’s was spiky and crisp, Phillip’s was impeccably feathered and parted down the middle. They were ready to go.
They guys all gathered at Martin’s warehouse to see them off.
“Okay, everyone,” Phillip said. “We’ll be back in exactly two weeks.”
“Yeah, why is that, kid?” Roy asked. Being in his sixties , Roy delighted in calling Phillip kid . Being in his forties, Phillip delighted in finally having someone around who could plausibly call him kid . “Why come back in two weeks? You’re time travelers . Why not just come back the second after you left?”
“For quick trips, we usually do,” Phillip explained, “but sometimes, for longer trips, it’s just less confusing this way. Besides, when you’ve lived in the past for a while, you begin to realize that you don’t particularly need to see all of it.”
Martin asked Gary, “Is our entrance ready?”
“Yup,” Gary said, “I’ve got the macro set up so that it’ll automatically trigger off of the same phrase that transports you there.”
“Do I have to do anything special?” Phillip asked.
“No,” Gary said, “we’ve designed the whole thing around the idea that you’re gonna stand there like a stiff.”
“Wise,” said Phillip.
Tyler asked Martin, “What’s your plan with Gwen?”
Martin said, “I’m gonna try to be cool.”
It occurred to Phillip that the phrase try to be cool could
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