boil with anger. As I stomp my way home, Bentley’s truck speeds past me until it’s out of sight. As soon as I can’t see the taillights anymore, I relax slightly. It’s so dark out here and unlike home there are no street lights brightening the road. I sigh and wrap my arms around myself and keep walking.
I’d been on edge all day from our fight the night before. Cane had peeled out of my driveway after I’d stormed out of his car and into my house. Aster handed me some peanut M&M’s. I popped two in my mouth and crunched down on them. “God, these are good,” I groaned.
“Yeah, tell me about it. I only let myself have two,” Aster grumbled.
“Oh come on. You can’t live like that, Aster. Eat the damn candy.”
“You don't have to count calories, Cy. You can eat whatever you want and still look like that!” she stressed, pointing to my waist. I popped two more delicious candies into my mouth and stared out the window.
“You okay?” Aster asked.
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I’m just confused.” Aster gave me a sad smile and did what any cousin/best friend would do, she handed me the rest of the bag of M&M’s. Why were boys so complicated? One second they’re showering you with love and the next they’re flirting with someone else and talking shit with their buddies.
He looked beautiful. A beautiful mess. His jeans hung from his narrow hips and his shirt clung to the ridges in his stomach and the bulges in his arms. I want to go to him, to hold him. I want to not be fighting. My pride holds me back though, and I stand unmoving at the bottom of my porch steps staring dumbly at him. Luckily, Cane didn't give me a chance to work through any of my thoughts. In three strides he was off the porch and in my face. “I don't exist without you. Please, Mags, forgive me. I was a total dick and I’m sorry.”
My heart thumped in my chest. I knew I should put up more of a fight, but his eyes, his words, they all pointed to him being honest with me right now. I just needed to be brave and say this.
“I’m not a doormat, Cane. I’m not a gym junkie, and...and I’m not hard like the other people you’re around. You have to treat me with respect. Always.” He smirked at me as relief washed over his features.
“Come a little closer, Mags, so we can talk without the words,” he breathed at me as his hand splayed my waist and he tugged me to him. “Your heart is beating really fast,” he said in a low voice.
“I know,” I whispered, just before his mouth collided with mine. And just like that, all was right again with the world. I didn't exist without him either.
I wake with a jolt. Tears stream down my face. Status quo. I quickly wipe them away and steel myself. I will not let my memories dictate my days. I throw the covers off me and shoot out of bed. I let the scalding hot water of the shower wash away all my memories and calm me. After I’m dressed and have a sufficient amount of caffeine in me, I sit at my living room window and watch the random happenings of the trailer park. The lady across from me is old, wrinkled and ornery. She spends almost an hour out of every day yelling for her cat - a cat that I have yet to see. I think if I were that cat I’d leave home, too. In the trailer to the left of hers lives an older worn-looking couple with more kids than I can count. The mother constantly looks haggard as she commands the kids to do this or that while her husband keeps permanent residence on the small porch stoop, drinking. I suck down the dregs of my mug and push down the feelings of pity and disgust for the people surrounding me. They all look hopeless. Sad. Beaten down. Exactly how I feel. I am no better than they are. I am one of them. The only difference is I have money and choose to live here, and they don't. A little past eleven I call the club and let Penny know that I need a ride to work or the night off. She says a night off isn’t what I need and that she will send Brock for
I’d been on edge all day from our fight the night before. Cane had peeled out of my driveway after I’d stormed out of his car and into my house. Aster handed me some peanut M&M’s. I popped two in my mouth and crunched down on them. “God, these are good,” I groaned.
“Yeah, tell me about it. I only let myself have two,” Aster grumbled.
“Oh come on. You can’t live like that, Aster. Eat the damn candy.”
“You don't have to count calories, Cy. You can eat whatever you want and still look like that!” she stressed, pointing to my waist. I popped two more delicious candies into my mouth and stared out the window.
“You okay?” Aster asked.
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I’m just confused.” Aster gave me a sad smile and did what any cousin/best friend would do, she handed me the rest of the bag of M&M’s. Why were boys so complicated? One second they’re showering you with love and the next they’re flirting with someone else and talking shit with their buddies.
He looked beautiful. A beautiful mess. His jeans hung from his narrow hips and his shirt clung to the ridges in his stomach and the bulges in his arms. I want to go to him, to hold him. I want to not be fighting. My pride holds me back though, and I stand unmoving at the bottom of my porch steps staring dumbly at him. Luckily, Cane didn't give me a chance to work through any of my thoughts. In three strides he was off the porch and in my face. “I don't exist without you. Please, Mags, forgive me. I was a total dick and I’m sorry.”
My heart thumped in my chest. I knew I should put up more of a fight, but his eyes, his words, they all pointed to him being honest with me right now. I just needed to be brave and say this.
“I’m not a doormat, Cane. I’m not a gym junkie, and...and I’m not hard like the other people you’re around. You have to treat me with respect. Always.” He smirked at me as relief washed over his features.
“Come a little closer, Mags, so we can talk without the words,” he breathed at me as his hand splayed my waist and he tugged me to him. “Your heart is beating really fast,” he said in a low voice.
“I know,” I whispered, just before his mouth collided with mine. And just like that, all was right again with the world. I didn't exist without him either.
I wake with a jolt. Tears stream down my face. Status quo. I quickly wipe them away and steel myself. I will not let my memories dictate my days. I throw the covers off me and shoot out of bed. I let the scalding hot water of the shower wash away all my memories and calm me. After I’m dressed and have a sufficient amount of caffeine in me, I sit at my living room window and watch the random happenings of the trailer park. The lady across from me is old, wrinkled and ornery. She spends almost an hour out of every day yelling for her cat - a cat that I have yet to see. I think if I were that cat I’d leave home, too. In the trailer to the left of hers lives an older worn-looking couple with more kids than I can count. The mother constantly looks haggard as she commands the kids to do this or that while her husband keeps permanent residence on the small porch stoop, drinking. I suck down the dregs of my mug and push down the feelings of pity and disgust for the people surrounding me. They all look hopeless. Sad. Beaten down. Exactly how I feel. I am no better than they are. I am one of them. The only difference is I have money and choose to live here, and they don't. A little past eleven I call the club and let Penny know that I need a ride to work or the night off. She says a night off isn’t what I need and that she will send Brock for
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