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Authors: Allison Wettlaufer
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back to sleep after that. When I o, I keep dreaming that the phone is ringing.
I'm totally awake now. Might as well start the day. It's gorgeous outside. Looks like it might be hot enough for
What is that thing on the lawn?
Don't go away, Nbook. I'll be right back.
7:42
This is not happening.
This is just too weird.
The thing on the lawn? It's two things. Two old rag dolls, a boy and a girl. They're in a pile, and I pull them apart. This is what they look like:
Should I wake Isabel?
I have to talk to somebody.
I am shaking.
8:34
Okay. I just called Maggie. She's a morning person. She was up.
She says that this kind of thing happened in one of her dad's films. I should ignore it.
Calling James would be doing just what he wants me to do.
Most of all, I should not act scared or look scared.
Right.
9:17
Isabel thinks Maggie is crazy.
“Living in La-La Land,” is how she puts it. She thinks I should call the police right away.
10:23
Mami and Papi weigh in.
Mami says, “Even though it may seem obvious, you're still not positive he did this.” She thinks I should invite him over, with the whole family in the house. I should have the two dolls sitting on the coffee table, and I should make no comment. Let him do the talking.
Papi wants to talk to James himself.
I can't tell which of those ideas is worse.
What should I do?
11:21
The phone rings. I'm curled up in bed.
Papi answers it with the loudest, most unfriendly “Hello” I've ever heard.
Then, “Amalia! It's for you!”
It's Maggie. Inviting me over to chill. Dawn and Sunny will be there too.
I am out of here, Nbook.
10:15 P.M.
Back again.
I love my Palo City friends.
We're sitting around the pool, eating nachos, trying not to be too freaked about James.
And you know what Maggie tells me? She says Rico has called up James and read him the riot act.
Bruce and Patti are mad at him too.
I'm almost in tears when I hear this. I'm amazed that they're loyal to me. James has been with the group since the beginning.
That was the first good thing that happened. The next? When Papi picked up the phone and threatened him. Exactly how? Neither he nor Mami will tell me.
But he did not call back.
I have hope, Nbook.
Maybe I'll sleep tonight. Wish me luck.
Mon 1/12
7:31 A.M.
I did it.
Slept right through the night.
And there were no calls overnight.
I'm looking out my window. Nothing on the lawn.
Maybe it's over.
No. I can't let myself be overoptimistic.
I still have to get through the entire school day.
1/12
homeroom
I am not singing hallelujahs yet.
But the signs are good.
I see James in the hallway on my way here. He's with his friends. They all smile at me.
James waves.
That's it. He doesn't come after me. He just stays put.
I'll check back after lunch.
lunch
I'm early. Waiting for friends to arrive.
James is not at the doorway today. I am feeling more and more
Sorry, Nbook. Gotta move. Girls at the next table are being snots. Looking at me,
whispering and laughing.
Haven't they ever seen someone write in a journal before?
study hall
Where do I begin?
Nbook, I am in shock.
You know what those girls were laughing at? Graffiti on the cafeteria wall.
Graffiti that looked something like this:
I go right to the head custodian, and he's in there with stain remover in seconds.
But you can still see it.
Sunny is practically in tears when she arrives at the table. She says everyone in school is talking about Ducky and me. There's this rumor “from an eyewitness” that I've been chasing him.
That I forced him to kiss me behind Rico's garage at a Vanish rehearsal.
Then Maggie comes to the table. She's upset because some kids in her math class have heard that I fooled around with Justin.
She makes it clear that she doesn't believe it. She's just upset anyone would think it.
Marina just ignores me. She and Cece sit at another table. Is she feeling guilty? Angry?
What's going on?
I am fed up. After lunch I wait for
I'm totally awake now. Might as well start the day. It's gorgeous outside. Looks like it might be hot enough for
What is that thing on the lawn?
Don't go away, Nbook. I'll be right back.
7:42
This is not happening.
This is just too weird.
The thing on the lawn? It's two things. Two old rag dolls, a boy and a girl. They're in a pile, and I pull them apart. This is what they look like:
Should I wake Isabel?
I have to talk to somebody.
I am shaking.
8:34
Okay. I just called Maggie. She's a morning person. She was up.
She says that this kind of thing happened in one of her dad's films. I should ignore it.
Calling James would be doing just what he wants me to do.
Most of all, I should not act scared or look scared.
Right.
9:17
Isabel thinks Maggie is crazy.
“Living in La-La Land,” is how she puts it. She thinks I should call the police right away.
10:23
Mami and Papi weigh in.
Mami says, “Even though it may seem obvious, you're still not positive he did this.” She thinks I should invite him over, with the whole family in the house. I should have the two dolls sitting on the coffee table, and I should make no comment. Let him do the talking.
Papi wants to talk to James himself.
I can't tell which of those ideas is worse.
What should I do?
11:21
The phone rings. I'm curled up in bed.
Papi answers it with the loudest, most unfriendly “Hello” I've ever heard.
Then, “Amalia! It's for you!”
It's Maggie. Inviting me over to chill. Dawn and Sunny will be there too.
I am out of here, Nbook.
10:15 P.M.
Back again.
I love my Palo City friends.
We're sitting around the pool, eating nachos, trying not to be too freaked about James.
And you know what Maggie tells me? She says Rico has called up James and read him the riot act.
Bruce and Patti are mad at him too.
I'm almost in tears when I hear this. I'm amazed that they're loyal to me. James has been with the group since the beginning.
That was the first good thing that happened. The next? When Papi picked up the phone and threatened him. Exactly how? Neither he nor Mami will tell me.
But he did not call back.
I have hope, Nbook.
Maybe I'll sleep tonight. Wish me luck.
Mon 1/12
7:31 A.M.
I did it.
Slept right through the night.
And there were no calls overnight.
I'm looking out my window. Nothing on the lawn.
Maybe it's over.
No. I can't let myself be overoptimistic.
I still have to get through the entire school day.
1/12
homeroom
I am not singing hallelujahs yet.
But the signs are good.
I see James in the hallway on my way here. He's with his friends. They all smile at me.
James waves.
That's it. He doesn't come after me. He just stays put.
I'll check back after lunch.
lunch
I'm early. Waiting for friends to arrive.
James is not at the doorway today. I am feeling more and more
Sorry, Nbook. Gotta move. Girls at the next table are being snots. Looking at me,
whispering and laughing.
Haven't they ever seen someone write in a journal before?
study hall
Where do I begin?
Nbook, I am in shock.
You know what those girls were laughing at? Graffiti on the cafeteria wall.
Graffiti that looked something like this:
I go right to the head custodian, and he's in there with stain remover in seconds.
But you can still see it.
Sunny is practically in tears when she arrives at the table. She says everyone in school is talking about Ducky and me. There's this rumor “from an eyewitness” that I've been chasing him.
That I forced him to kiss me behind Rico's garage at a Vanish rehearsal.
Then Maggie comes to the table. She's upset because some kids in her math class have heard that I fooled around with Justin.
She makes it clear that she doesn't believe it. She's just upset anyone would think it.
Marina just ignores me. She and Cece sit at another table. Is she feeling guilty? Angry?
What's going on?
I am fed up. After lunch I wait for
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