Read Online Not to Disturb by Muriel Spark - Free Book Online Page B

Mr McGuire. ‘Our only
problem is the casting. You have to have everyone younger than they really are.
If Hadrian plays Lister, Pablo could play Hadrian.’
    â€˜It’s just that I wonder if they’ll give Pablo the
part.’
    â€˜They’ll have to,’ says Mr McGuire.
    â€˜Eleanor can play the Baroness. The same shots as I’ve
got, she only needs to follow the original film and dialogue,’ says Mr
Samuel.
    â€˜I’m worried about Pablo,’ says Clovis.
    â€˜He’s very photogenic,’ says Mr Samuel.
    They fall silent as Lister enters the room followed by
the Reverend.
    â€˜Where is Eleanor?’ says Lister.
    â€˜Not here,’ says Clovis.
    â€˜Give the Reverend a nice drink,’ says Lister, going over
to the house-phone.
    â€˜No, I should be in bed,’ says the Reverend. ‘I have to
get up in the morning to see about the wedding.’
    â€˜I’m sorry, Reverend, but we shall probably have an
urgent mission for you in this house tonight arising out of Sister Barton’s
request. You really must stay.’
    â€˜You must stay, Reverend,’ says Mr McGuire. ‘We’ll make
you comfortable.’
    Lister has lifted the receiver and has pressed a button.
He stands waiting for a reply which does not come. He presses another button,
speaking meanwhile over his shoulder to those in the room. ‘Sister Barton,’ he
says, ‘has asked the Reverend to perform a marriage service. She wants to marry
him in the attic, who apparently assents so far as one can gather.’ Having got
no answer from the phone he presses another button and meanwhile says to the
others, ‘I’ve managed to dissuade the Reverend from such an irregular action at
the present moment.’
    â€˜She’s out of her mind,’ says Mr Samuel. ‘Off her head,’
says Mr McGuire. And now Lister has got an answer on the phone. ‘Eleanor,’ he
says into the speaker, ‘Any news? Any luck?’
    The answer whistles briefly. From outside the house comes
a clap of thunder. Lister says into the speaker, ‘Be thorough, my dear,’ and
hangs up.
    â€˜A storm in the distance coming over,’ says Mr
McGuire.
    Clovis brings a glass of hot whisky to the Reverend who
is sitting dazedly on the sofa. The Reverend takes the drink, and places it on
the table by his side, with his fingers playing gently on the glass. He begins
to hum a hymn-tune, then he nods with sleep, opening his eyes suddenly when a
crackle of thunder passes the house, and letting them drop again when the noise
is past.
    The house-telephone rings. Lister answers it and it
hisses back through its wind-pipe.
    â€˜Irene?’ Lister says. ‘Yes, of course let her in. Use
your common sense.’ He hangs up. ‘That porter,’ he says to all in the room, ‘is
a humbug.’
    The house-phone rings again. Lister takes the instrument
off the hook very slowly, says into the speaker, ‘Lister here,’ and trains his
ear on the garrulous sirocco that forces its way down the narrow flue of the
phone. Meanwhile a car draws up at the back. A window can be heard opening above
and Heloise’s voice calls ‘Hi, Irene’ into the stormy night. Mr Samuel, who is
peering out of the window, turns back to the room and says, ‘Irene in the
Mini-Morris.’
    The house-phone in Lister’s hand gives a brief gusty
sigh. Lister says, ‘Darling, did you find the files locked or unlocked?’
    The phone crackles amok while a double crash of thunder
beats the sky above the roof. A long wail comes from the top of the house and
from another level upstairs comes an intermittent beat of music. The back door
rattles, admits footsteps and clicks shut. Lister at the phone listens on.
    â€˜Then be careful,’ he says at last, ‘not to lock them
again. Leave everything as you found it. Take copies and put the papers back.
And hurry, my love. There is