Read Online Not That You Asked (9780307822215) by Andy Rooney - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Andy Rooney
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blessing for me. She wants to save me.
The results of these blessings are not all in, but naturally I have high expectations. A request from a nun would carry more weight than if Iâd asked for Godâs blessing myself.
At the present time Sister Mary Rose is busy saving the homeless in San Francisco and theyâre lucky to have her on their side. She rejects my contention that she could use a little saving herself. For one thing, sheâs eating better than is absolutely necessary. Sheâs a wonderfully good-hearted person, though, and I suspect she thinks of herself last.
Anyway, as you can tell, I like Sister Mary Rose a lot, and thatâs why Iâm so upset with a recent trend in her life-style. In the past few yearssheâs started doing something I canât excuse her for. Sheâs stopped wearing her nunâs habit. When she comes to my office now sheâs dressed like anyone else looking for work. That means she doesnât look like a nun. It would be fair to say sheâs gotten out of the habit.
If youâre going to be a nun, you ought to look like a nun and act like a nun. Iâve told Sister Mary Rose this. Iâve told her that if she doesnât wear that black costume, Iâm not going to call her âSisterâ anymore. Iâm just going to call her Mary Rose â¦Â or possibly even just Mary. Pope John Paul II has laid down the law to Catholics in so many ways that I wish heâd come up with a pronunciamento on dress for priests and nuns. Iâm sure itâs an area in which the Pope and I agree. You certainly arenât going to find Pope John Paul II wearing blue jeans or a sports coat and Iâll bet he expects proper dress among his workers in the vineyard where the grapes of wrath are stored.
I like to see a nun or a priest here and there. They are black and white dots in a colorful but otherwise anonymous crowd. You can identify them for what they are. If a salesman, a doctor or a Russian spy goes by, you never know because they look like everyone else. When a properly attired nun goes by, you know who she is. You can divert yourself with whatever thought you usually have about nuns. I called the Catholic archdiocese in town and the man in their communications office just laughed when I asked if priests and nuns were wearing their official clothes less frequently.
âOh, my, yes â¦Â ever since the Second Vatican Council,â he said. I recognized, by the tone of his voice, that âthe Second Vatican Councilâ was a phrase that held great meaning for him, so I didnât display my ignorance by asking how it bore on nunsâ habits. He said âSecond Vatican Councilâ the same way a Secretary of State might say âEver since Geneva,â or âEver since FDR, Churchill and Stalin met at Yalta.â
Why have nuns dropped their habits? Arenât they as proud of being nuns as they once were? Do they think they can be more effective wearing civilian clothes? Why, for that matter, do so many priests go out wearing regular shirts and ties when we expect something more of them? Men of the cloth ought to wear their regular cloth. Priests, ministers and nuns ought to be as identifiable as policemen in case we need one in an emergency.
Donât come back, except in black, Sister Mary Rose.
Let the Salesman Beware
Recently I got that urge most men try so unsuccessfully to resist every few years. I went in to look at a new car. I know buying a new car is silly when the old one is running perfectly well, but we all know how to overcome good sense when it comes to thinking about a new car. We say, for instance, âI donât want to have to start spending a lot of money on an old car. Itâll be cheaper in the long run to turn it in now.â
It wonât be cheaper but thatâs what we say when weâre talking ourselves into buying a new car.
I like dealing with car salesmen. (I have
The results of these blessings are not all in, but naturally I have high expectations. A request from a nun would carry more weight than if Iâd asked for Godâs blessing myself.
At the present time Sister Mary Rose is busy saving the homeless in San Francisco and theyâre lucky to have her on their side. She rejects my contention that she could use a little saving herself. For one thing, sheâs eating better than is absolutely necessary. Sheâs a wonderfully good-hearted person, though, and I suspect she thinks of herself last.
Anyway, as you can tell, I like Sister Mary Rose a lot, and thatâs why Iâm so upset with a recent trend in her life-style. In the past few yearssheâs started doing something I canât excuse her for. Sheâs stopped wearing her nunâs habit. When she comes to my office now sheâs dressed like anyone else looking for work. That means she doesnât look like a nun. It would be fair to say sheâs gotten out of the habit.
If youâre going to be a nun, you ought to look like a nun and act like a nun. Iâve told Sister Mary Rose this. Iâve told her that if she doesnât wear that black costume, Iâm not going to call her âSisterâ anymore. Iâm just going to call her Mary Rose â¦Â or possibly even just Mary. Pope John Paul II has laid down the law to Catholics in so many ways that I wish heâd come up with a pronunciamento on dress for priests and nuns. Iâm sure itâs an area in which the Pope and I agree. You certainly arenât going to find Pope John Paul II wearing blue jeans or a sports coat and Iâll bet he expects proper dress among his workers in the vineyard where the grapes of wrath are stored.
I like to see a nun or a priest here and there. They are black and white dots in a colorful but otherwise anonymous crowd. You can identify them for what they are. If a salesman, a doctor or a Russian spy goes by, you never know because they look like everyone else. When a properly attired nun goes by, you know who she is. You can divert yourself with whatever thought you usually have about nuns. I called the Catholic archdiocese in town and the man in their communications office just laughed when I asked if priests and nuns were wearing their official clothes less frequently.
âOh, my, yes â¦Â ever since the Second Vatican Council,â he said. I recognized, by the tone of his voice, that âthe Second Vatican Councilâ was a phrase that held great meaning for him, so I didnât display my ignorance by asking how it bore on nunsâ habits. He said âSecond Vatican Councilâ the same way a Secretary of State might say âEver since Geneva,â or âEver since FDR, Churchill and Stalin met at Yalta.â
Why have nuns dropped their habits? Arenât they as proud of being nuns as they once were? Do they think they can be more effective wearing civilian clothes? Why, for that matter, do so many priests go out wearing regular shirts and ties when we expect something more of them? Men of the cloth ought to wear their regular cloth. Priests, ministers and nuns ought to be as identifiable as policemen in case we need one in an emergency.
Donât come back, except in black, Sister Mary Rose.
Let the Salesman Beware
Recently I got that urge most men try so unsuccessfully to resist every few years. I went in to look at a new car. I know buying a new car is silly when the old one is running perfectly well, but we all know how to overcome good sense when it comes to thinking about a new car. We say, for instance, âI donât want to have to start spending a lot of money on an old car. Itâll be cheaper in the long run to turn it in now.â
It wonât be cheaper but thatâs what we say when weâre talking ourselves into buying a new car.
I like dealing with car salesmen. (I have
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