Read Online Nobody Loves a Ginger Baby by Laura Marney - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Laura Marney
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States!’
‘Aw Mark, geez a shout when we go to Def Con One, will yae?’
‘Aye me tae, I’ll need to get hame. Ah’ve left a waashin oot.’
They run a tight ship, thinks Daphne.
‘Oh come on, give the guy a break! Mark, we’ll make an exception today because of your circumstances. You can leave your phone on discreet and take the call outside when your lawyer calls, how’s that?’
‘Brilliant. Thanks Daphne.’
He is obviously relieved, today is another assessment and nobody wants to miss it.
‘Right: assessment,’ says Daphne, smiling gleefully as though an exam were something to be relished. ‘Great to see you’ve all turned up and after today that’s another one under your belt. Remember: bit by bit. We’ll do it together.
‘Since you started you’ve all sat and successfully passed four assessments. We’re definitely getting there; we’re halfway there already. And you’re going to pass this next one. Some of you might not pass the first time and get remediation, so, big deal, you’ll pass the next time or the time after that. The important thing to remember is to not panic; we can do it, a wee bit at a time. You’re going to leave this course with your qualification; all you have to do is keep going, keep the faith.’
Daphne always gives them a pep talk before any assessment but they really need it today. Assessment five is public speaking. They each have to prepare and deliver a five-minute speech. The topic was supposed to be My Hobby but nobody has a hobby so Daphnehas changed it to The Person I Most Admire. Daphne arranges herself at the back of the class with her stopwatch and evaluation sheets before the talks commence.
June is highly organised with flash cards and props and she opens well.
‘She wis a Land Girl in the war and as yae can see fae the photaes she wis a crackin looking wummin in her day.’
June’s talk is well paced and interesting with many facts and quirky details about the Land Girl. The photos take a few minutes to reach Daphne and it is not until she sees them that she realises the woman June is talking about is her grandmother.
‘She’s ninety-two and she’s still a brilliant laugh. She loves it when I bring her in a magazine, Cosmopolitan or something. She’s gettin a wee bit incontinent noo but it’s only a matter ay changing the cushion oan hur cher, they’re machine-waashable.’
Several other of the students talk about their grandmother as the person they most admire. It is so prevalent that Daphne begins to understand that this is not due to having come from a tightly-knit extended family. They are paying tribute to the woman who brought them up. Usually single-handed.
Dan’s talk is about dogs, Rottweilers.
‘The Rottweiler breed comes from Germany.’
Dan seems to have done his homework but Daphne is not sure which topic he has chosen because as he begins to talk about his pet Rottweiler, Perla, it sounds like the person he most admires.
‘The guy that hud the pups owed ma brother a favour, a big favour, know what I’m sayin? I got Perla when she wis only a week auld. Ah could hod her in ma two hons she was that wee, ah hud to feed her milk through a sock.’
‘Did yae waash it first?’ shouts Billy to some laughter.
‘Naw, ah didnae, actually,’ counters Mark, ‘she prefers the cheesier flavour.’
The girls cry ‘euww!’ The lads snigger.
‘The first night she gret the whole night. ah hud to take her in beside me. You waant to see her noo: fourteen stone ay solid muscle and she still sleeps in beside me. She could rip yer throatoot in a minute. It’s in her nature, it’s no’ the dug’s fault, it’s been bred intae her and she’ll never lose the killer instinct.’
Dan could talk for hours on the subject but after eight and a half minutes, and several ‘time’s up’ gestures, Daphne is forced to stop him.
Next up is Michael who has composed a rap to his mother.
‘Ah wis aff ma heid, Ah wis fuckin nearly
‘Aw Mark, geez a shout when we go to Def Con One, will yae?’
‘Aye me tae, I’ll need to get hame. Ah’ve left a waashin oot.’
They run a tight ship, thinks Daphne.
‘Oh come on, give the guy a break! Mark, we’ll make an exception today because of your circumstances. You can leave your phone on discreet and take the call outside when your lawyer calls, how’s that?’
‘Brilliant. Thanks Daphne.’
He is obviously relieved, today is another assessment and nobody wants to miss it.
‘Right: assessment,’ says Daphne, smiling gleefully as though an exam were something to be relished. ‘Great to see you’ve all turned up and after today that’s another one under your belt. Remember: bit by bit. We’ll do it together.
‘Since you started you’ve all sat and successfully passed four assessments. We’re definitely getting there; we’re halfway there already. And you’re going to pass this next one. Some of you might not pass the first time and get remediation, so, big deal, you’ll pass the next time or the time after that. The important thing to remember is to not panic; we can do it, a wee bit at a time. You’re going to leave this course with your qualification; all you have to do is keep going, keep the faith.’
Daphne always gives them a pep talk before any assessment but they really need it today. Assessment five is public speaking. They each have to prepare and deliver a five-minute speech. The topic was supposed to be My Hobby but nobody has a hobby so Daphnehas changed it to The Person I Most Admire. Daphne arranges herself at the back of the class with her stopwatch and evaluation sheets before the talks commence.
June is highly organised with flash cards and props and she opens well.
‘She wis a Land Girl in the war and as yae can see fae the photaes she wis a crackin looking wummin in her day.’
June’s talk is well paced and interesting with many facts and quirky details about the Land Girl. The photos take a few minutes to reach Daphne and it is not until she sees them that she realises the woman June is talking about is her grandmother.
‘She’s ninety-two and she’s still a brilliant laugh. She loves it when I bring her in a magazine, Cosmopolitan or something. She’s gettin a wee bit incontinent noo but it’s only a matter ay changing the cushion oan hur cher, they’re machine-waashable.’
Several other of the students talk about their grandmother as the person they most admire. It is so prevalent that Daphne begins to understand that this is not due to having come from a tightly-knit extended family. They are paying tribute to the woman who brought them up. Usually single-handed.
Dan’s talk is about dogs, Rottweilers.
‘The Rottweiler breed comes from Germany.’
Dan seems to have done his homework but Daphne is not sure which topic he has chosen because as he begins to talk about his pet Rottweiler, Perla, it sounds like the person he most admires.
‘The guy that hud the pups owed ma brother a favour, a big favour, know what I’m sayin? I got Perla when she wis only a week auld. Ah could hod her in ma two hons she was that wee, ah hud to feed her milk through a sock.’
‘Did yae waash it first?’ shouts Billy to some laughter.
‘Naw, ah didnae, actually,’ counters Mark, ‘she prefers the cheesier flavour.’
The girls cry ‘euww!’ The lads snigger.
‘The first night she gret the whole night. ah hud to take her in beside me. You waant to see her noo: fourteen stone ay solid muscle and she still sleeps in beside me. She could rip yer throatoot in a minute. It’s in her nature, it’s no’ the dug’s fault, it’s been bred intae her and she’ll never lose the killer instinct.’
Dan could talk for hours on the subject but after eight and a half minutes, and several ‘time’s up’ gestures, Daphne is forced to stop him.
Next up is Michael who has composed a rap to his mother.
‘Ah wis aff ma heid, Ah wis fuckin nearly
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