of her sneaker. Her shoe had been pooling blood for a while, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. It looked like despite the constant motion of walking there was a scabby cover forming. It hurt and still continued to throb, but it wasn’t so painful she couldn’t push herself to walk. “I’ll live.”
Chris lowered himself off the log onto the ground and put his back against the rough bark. “I need to sit a while. I need a break.”
“We need to find water,” Jess stated as she turned her bloody hands back and forth looking at the red-brown stains. “I want to clean my hands.”
“More important, we need to rehydrate.”
“Well, yeah,” Jess smiled. “That, too.”
“Remember when I said you were the better survivalist?” Chris laughed.
Jess began to laugh, too. It felt weird to laugh after they’d seen a dead girl and then nearly both died. It felt so weird she laughed harder. It felt like madness to find it so funny. After tears streamed from her eyes, she managed to calm herself.
“You’re such a jerk,” she said hitting him lightly on the shoulder.
He looked up at her, suddenly very somber. “Is it just me or do you feel cold?”
“No, I feel warm. Hot. It’s like eighty degrees here in the shade.”
“I don’t… I don’t feel real great,” he said laying his head back on the log. He blinked his eyes several times.
“Honey, what’s wrong. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I’m…”
“Chris! Tell me! Tell me what to do!”
“Maybe… shock.”
“Shock? What do I do for shock? What do you need me to do?” She’d heard him tell her before how people would come into the hospital hours after an accident suddenly going into shock. It didn’t surprise her with the heat and dehydration, but it made her no less terrified.
“Tired,” Chris groaned.
She prodded his shoulder hard and shouted, “Am I supposed to let you sleep? What do I do?”
“Mmm…”
Jess’s heart began to race. A medical emergency and the only person qualified to deal with it was blacking out. “Chris! Chris! Answer me!”
He didn’t say another word and she shook him just a little. His head flopped forward with his chin to his chest. She positioned it back against the log like a rock-hard pillow. Tears started to stream down her face as she lifted one of his eyelids, but his eye was rolled back.
“Chris! What do I do?” She clawed her fingers into her scalp as she screamed with frustration. “What do I do?”
Her body felt numb and she knew what was coming next. It was familiar and terrifying territory and once again the one person who could help ground her was propped up unconscious next to her. Her mind began to simultaneously shut out voluntary normal thought and instead her whole world collapsed around her. A darkness grasped her soul and instantly she felt herself dying from the inside, fearful and alone in her own dreadful place, despite the sweeping sunshine streaming through the trees.
Jess fell onto her side among fallen pine needles. Her sobbing was uncontrollable and took the breath straight out of her. She was having a panic attack. The second one of the trip, but this time she was alone and trapped. She clutched at her arms and felt the gravity of the whole universe rushing in to crush her to pieces. She felt her impending death and the deepest shades of despair. Her heart simultaneously raced and felt like it had stopped beating.
It took a long time, but she finally crawled her way up and out of her own personal hell. Her heart felt like it was irregular and fast and deadly, but she assumed it was the fading of her nerves screaming throughout her body. She lay still for a bit. She traced her fingertips over a particularly orange dried pine needle as she tried to regain herself.
Panic attacks weren’t just scary. They physically hurt and psychologically destroyed her a little more every time. As she came to her senses properly, she began to inhale and exhale rhythmically and
Chris lowered himself off the log onto the ground and put his back against the rough bark. “I need to sit a while. I need a break.”
“We need to find water,” Jess stated as she turned her bloody hands back and forth looking at the red-brown stains. “I want to clean my hands.”
“More important, we need to rehydrate.”
“Well, yeah,” Jess smiled. “That, too.”
“Remember when I said you were the better survivalist?” Chris laughed.
Jess began to laugh, too. It felt weird to laugh after they’d seen a dead girl and then nearly both died. It felt so weird she laughed harder. It felt like madness to find it so funny. After tears streamed from her eyes, she managed to calm herself.
“You’re such a jerk,” she said hitting him lightly on the shoulder.
He looked up at her, suddenly very somber. “Is it just me or do you feel cold?”
“No, I feel warm. Hot. It’s like eighty degrees here in the shade.”
“I don’t… I don’t feel real great,” he said laying his head back on the log. He blinked his eyes several times.
“Honey, what’s wrong. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I’m…”
“Chris! Tell me! Tell me what to do!”
“Maybe… shock.”
“Shock? What do I do for shock? What do you need me to do?” She’d heard him tell her before how people would come into the hospital hours after an accident suddenly going into shock. It didn’t surprise her with the heat and dehydration, but it made her no less terrified.
“Tired,” Chris groaned.
She prodded his shoulder hard and shouted, “Am I supposed to let you sleep? What do I do?”
“Mmm…”
Jess’s heart began to race. A medical emergency and the only person qualified to deal with it was blacking out. “Chris! Chris! Answer me!”
He didn’t say another word and she shook him just a little. His head flopped forward with his chin to his chest. She positioned it back against the log like a rock-hard pillow. Tears started to stream down her face as she lifted one of his eyelids, but his eye was rolled back.
“Chris! What do I do?” She clawed her fingers into her scalp as she screamed with frustration. “What do I do?”
Her body felt numb and she knew what was coming next. It was familiar and terrifying territory and once again the one person who could help ground her was propped up unconscious next to her. Her mind began to simultaneously shut out voluntary normal thought and instead her whole world collapsed around her. A darkness grasped her soul and instantly she felt herself dying from the inside, fearful and alone in her own dreadful place, despite the sweeping sunshine streaming through the trees.
Jess fell onto her side among fallen pine needles. Her sobbing was uncontrollable and took the breath straight out of her. She was having a panic attack. The second one of the trip, but this time she was alone and trapped. She clutched at her arms and felt the gravity of the whole universe rushing in to crush her to pieces. She felt her impending death and the deepest shades of despair. Her heart simultaneously raced and felt like it had stopped beating.
It took a long time, but she finally crawled her way up and out of her own personal hell. Her heart felt like it was irregular and fast and deadly, but she assumed it was the fading of her nerves screaming throughout her body. She lay still for a bit. She traced her fingertips over a particularly orange dried pine needle as she tried to regain herself.
Panic attacks weren’t just scary. They physically hurt and psychologically destroyed her a little more every time. As she came to her senses properly, she began to inhale and exhale rhythmically and
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