she whispered.
“Edward Dunford.” My little red ape rattling the bars of his cage.
“You here about Johnny?”
“No.”
“What then?”
“Jeanette.”
She put three thin fingers to her white lips and closed her blue eyes.
There at death’s door, with the sky above breaking into a December blue, I took out my pen and some scraps of paper and said, “I’m a journalist. From the Post .”
“Well then, you’d better come in.”
I closed the red door behind me.
“Sit down. I’ll put the kettle on.”
I sat down in an off-white leather armchair in a small but well-furnished front room. Most of the stuff was new and expensive, some of it still wrapped in plastic. A colour TV was on with the sound off. An adult literacy programme was just beginning, the title On the Move written on the side of a speeding white Ford Transit van.
I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to lose my hangover.
When I opened my eyes, there she was.
On top of the TV was the photograph, the school portrait I’d dreaded.
Jeanette Garland, younger and fairer than Susan and Clare, was smiling at me with the happiest smile I’d ever seen.
Jeanette Garland was mongoloid.
Out in the kitchen the kettle began to scream and then abruptly went dead.
I looked away from the photograph, glancing at a cabinet stuffed with trophies and tankards.
“Here we are,” said Mrs Garland, putting down a tray on the coffee table in front of me. “Just let it stand a moment.”
“Quite the sportsman, Mr Garland,” I smiled, nodding back at the cabinet.
Mrs Garland pulled her red cardigan tight again around her and sat down on the off-white leather sofa. “They’re my brother’s.”
“Oh,” I said, trying to calculate the woman’s age: Jeanette had been eight years old in 1969, making her mother maybe twenty-six or twenty-seven then, early thirties now?
She looked like she hadn’t slept in days.
She caught me looking. “What can I do for you, Mr Dunford?”
“I’m doing an article on the parents of children who have gone missing.”
Mrs Garland picked at some flecks on her skirt.
I went on, “There’s always a lot of publicity at the time and then it dies down.”
“Dies down?”
“Yeah. The article is about how the parents have coped, after all the fuss has died down, and…”
“About how I’ve coped?”
“Yeah. For example, at the time, do you think the police could’ve done anything more to have helped you?”
“There was one thing.” Mrs Garland was staring straight at me, waiting.
I said, “And what was that?”
“They could have found my bloody daughter, you ignorant, heartless, fucking bastard!” She closed her eyes, her whole body shaking.
I stood up, my mouth dry. “I’m sorry, I didn’t…”
“Get out!”
“I’m sorry.”
Mrs Garland opened her eyes and looked up at me. “You’re not sorry. If you were capable of feeling sorry, you wouldn’t be here.”
I stood in the centre of her front room, my shins trapped between the coffee table and the armchair, suddenly thinking of my own mother and wanting to go over and hold the mother before me. Awkwardly I tried to stride over the coffee table and the pot of tea, unsure of what to say, saying only, “Please…”
Mrs Paula Garland rose to meet me, her pale blue eyes wide with tears and hate, pushing me back hard against the red door. “You fucking journalists. You come into my house talking to me about things you know nothing about, like you’re discussing the weather or some war in another fucking country.” She was crying huge tears now as she struggled to open the front door.
My face on fire, I stepped backwards into the street.
“ This thing happened to me! ” she screamed, slamming the door in my face.
I stood in the street, in front of the red door, and wished I were anywhere else in the world but Brunt Street, Castleford.
“How’d you get on then?”
“Fuck off.” I’d had an hour and three pints to brood over by the
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