flagstone path to the front door like two teenagers on a date.
“You’re never emotional without a reason. Bad day at work? Boss yell at you? Spilled coffee all over her desk?”
Carla smiled at his attempt to cheer her up. “Something like that.”
“Maybe it’s not the right job for you.”
“Maybe.” Mike led her to the patio, where he’d set two glasses and a bottle of her favorite champagne.
“This was so sweet. I can’t believe you gave up a date.” Carla sat and kicked off her low-heeled shoes, propping her feet in Mike’s lap. She groaned as he dug his thumbs in.
“It’s fine.”
“Can I ask you something personal?”
Mike poured the champagne. “Is there anything you don’t know about me?”
Carla took a long sip. The bubbles tickled her throat and the alcohol hit her stomach with a calming thud. “It’s different with Rob. In bed, I mean.”
Mike choked on his champagne. “How do you mean?”
“It feels right, doesn’t it? Like in a movie? The music swells and stars paste themselves to the inside of your eyelids?” Carla brushed hair away from his forehead. Who was she without him? Without their marriage?
“You’re a hopeless romantic. I love Rob differently than I love you, but not more.”
“I’m not asking for reassurance.” Well, maybe she was—the reassurance it felt right to be in the arms of someone who ignited passion in you.
“Yes, it feels right sexually. Can I ask you something?”
“Turnaround?”
“You think you’re gay because you’ve been attracted to a few women over the years.”
Carla looked away. Should she tell him about Jamie? He’d understand, but her feelings were so jumbled she couldn’t talk about it right now. And if she quit it would be irrelevant.
“But how do you know? I mean, don’t you want to have a one-night stand or something? To see what sex with a woman is like?”
Now it was Carla’s turn to choke on the champagne. “No. I can’t imagine—”
“I know it’s scary, but you can’t be a lesbian without a girlfriend.”
“Yes, I can.”
“You won’t want to be. You’re beautiful and smart and the most loving person I know. You need to find someone who gives you all the passion you deserve.”
“Romance novels make it sound easy.” Carla’s laugh came out choked and she reached for Mike’s hand. “I wouldn’t know where to begin.”
“You can find gay-oriented groups and activities online. Maybe a book club?”
“I never thought past getting Lissa off to college and helping you move out.”
“You’ve always taken care of us. Now you need to focus on you. We have a chance to follow new dreams, honey.” Mike squeezed her hand. “Honest dreams. Not what our parents and upbringing told us we should want. Don’t make me set you up on blind dates.”
Carla smiled. Would she ever find someone as loving and caring as Mike? Passion had been a small sacrifice over the years.
Mike’s cell phone rang. “Hi, Lis. Yep, right here.”
“Hi, sweetie,” Carla said, taking the phone. Her mood lifted at the sound of her daughter’s energetic voice.
“Steph has a craving for your spaghetti sauce. How do I make it?”
Carla’s world circled around her as she recited the recipe, reminding Lissa to use fresh marjoram and oregano. “Give Steph a hug for us.” She handed the phone back to Mike. “I hope the reasons for our divorce don’t throw her into a tailspin. For all the books out there on coming out, I’ve never seen one that explains how to come out to your teenaged daughter.”
“She’ll be fine. We’ll all get through this and be stronger for it. Promise me you’ll think about dating?”
“Think. That’s all.”
Mike kissed her on the cheek. “I made reservations for eight. Plenty of time for a hot bath. I’m sure you need one.”
Carla groaned. The last thing she needed was a bath.
Chapter Seven
One day at a time. Carla repeated Mike’s advice as she pulled into the parking lot,
“You’re never emotional without a reason. Bad day at work? Boss yell at you? Spilled coffee all over her desk?”
Carla smiled at his attempt to cheer her up. “Something like that.”
“Maybe it’s not the right job for you.”
“Maybe.” Mike led her to the patio, where he’d set two glasses and a bottle of her favorite champagne.
“This was so sweet. I can’t believe you gave up a date.” Carla sat and kicked off her low-heeled shoes, propping her feet in Mike’s lap. She groaned as he dug his thumbs in.
“It’s fine.”
“Can I ask you something personal?”
Mike poured the champagne. “Is there anything you don’t know about me?”
Carla took a long sip. The bubbles tickled her throat and the alcohol hit her stomach with a calming thud. “It’s different with Rob. In bed, I mean.”
Mike choked on his champagne. “How do you mean?”
“It feels right, doesn’t it? Like in a movie? The music swells and stars paste themselves to the inside of your eyelids?” Carla brushed hair away from his forehead. Who was she without him? Without their marriage?
“You’re a hopeless romantic. I love Rob differently than I love you, but not more.”
“I’m not asking for reassurance.” Well, maybe she was—the reassurance it felt right to be in the arms of someone who ignited passion in you.
“Yes, it feels right sexually. Can I ask you something?”
“Turnaround?”
“You think you’re gay because you’ve been attracted to a few women over the years.”
Carla looked away. Should she tell him about Jamie? He’d understand, but her feelings were so jumbled she couldn’t talk about it right now. And if she quit it would be irrelevant.
“But how do you know? I mean, don’t you want to have a one-night stand or something? To see what sex with a woman is like?”
Now it was Carla’s turn to choke on the champagne. “No. I can’t imagine—”
“I know it’s scary, but you can’t be a lesbian without a girlfriend.”
“Yes, I can.”
“You won’t want to be. You’re beautiful and smart and the most loving person I know. You need to find someone who gives you all the passion you deserve.”
“Romance novels make it sound easy.” Carla’s laugh came out choked and she reached for Mike’s hand. “I wouldn’t know where to begin.”
“You can find gay-oriented groups and activities online. Maybe a book club?”
“I never thought past getting Lissa off to college and helping you move out.”
“You’ve always taken care of us. Now you need to focus on you. We have a chance to follow new dreams, honey.” Mike squeezed her hand. “Honest dreams. Not what our parents and upbringing told us we should want. Don’t make me set you up on blind dates.”
Carla smiled. Would she ever find someone as loving and caring as Mike? Passion had been a small sacrifice over the years.
Mike’s cell phone rang. “Hi, Lis. Yep, right here.”
“Hi, sweetie,” Carla said, taking the phone. Her mood lifted at the sound of her daughter’s energetic voice.
“Steph has a craving for your spaghetti sauce. How do I make it?”
Carla’s world circled around her as she recited the recipe, reminding Lissa to use fresh marjoram and oregano. “Give Steph a hug for us.” She handed the phone back to Mike. “I hope the reasons for our divorce don’t throw her into a tailspin. For all the books out there on coming out, I’ve never seen one that explains how to come out to your teenaged daughter.”
“She’ll be fine. We’ll all get through this and be stronger for it. Promise me you’ll think about dating?”
“Think. That’s all.”
Mike kissed her on the cheek. “I made reservations for eight. Plenty of time for a hot bath. I’m sure you need one.”
Carla groaned. The last thing she needed was a bath.
Chapter Seven
One day at a time. Carla repeated Mike’s advice as she pulled into the parking lot,
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