Read Online Never Say Goodbye by Susan Lewis - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Susan Lewis
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gothic windows were straight out of a Hammer House of Horrors. Just thank God Ryan was in one of the newer units at the back where each inmate had his own cell and the heating, or so he told her, was a functioning part of the place, unlike it ever seemed to be in the visitors’ room.
She’d watched a documentary the other night about young offenders at Aylesbury Prison and now seriously wished she hadn’t bothered. She’d hardly been able to sleep after seeing the way those tormented youths beat each other up, attacked the officers, vandalised their cells or went to terrible lengths to self-harm. One poor lad was so fixated on killing himself that he had to be constantly watched and even then they didn’t always catch him putting a noose round his neck, or slashing his wrists with the corner of a toothpaste tube. She couldn’t begin to imagine how his mother must feel, knowing he was so miserable, so devoid of hope that all he wanted was to end his life.
Maybe he didn’t have a mother, or not one that cared. It could be the whole root of the problem.
It was one of the worst parts of being a parent, she thought, as a gate finally opened in the huge blue iron doors to start letting the line through, the constant worrying over what your kids might be up to, or what you, as a parent – a mother in particular – had done to send your child down the wrong road. God knew she’d done her best with Ryan, had loved him the same way she’d loved Lily, and still did, but right through from the time he was born, a month prematurely with a tiny hole in his heart, to when he was six and nearly drowned in the sea off Temple Bay, to all the trouble they’d had with him at school, things had never seemed to go right for him. He always tried his best, but no matter how much effort he put into his lessons, or projects, or even a job after he’d turned sixteen, there had always been someone there to lead him into bad ways. He was too easily influenced was what Jeff always said, and though Josie hated to think that their son didn’t have a mind of his own, she had to admit that if he did, he didn’t always use it. She’d even wondered in her darkest moments if he was a little bit delinquent, but since none of his teachers had ever come forward with that, and nor had Jeff, she’d kept the awful suspicion to herself. After all, he wasn’t stupid, he understood the difference between right and wrong, he just didn’t always draw the line in the same place most other people would.
‘At least we’re out of that wind,’ Lily shivered, as they were ushered into a forbidding stone room with no seats or windows, just a noticeboard full of rules for visitors and a couple of security scanners. ‘It’s still like a fridge in here though,’ she grumbled, hugging her faux-fur jacket more tightly around her.
With her honeyed curls peeking out from under a blue bobble hat and her spiky dark lashes curling around her violet eyes she was as pretty as a primrose, Josie thought, and twice as precious.
‘It’s bloody cruel, if you ask me,’ a woman behind them piped up. ‘No one should have to put up with these sorts of temperatures, especially when they ain’t done nothing wrong. They could at least heat these communal areas.’
‘Too bloody mean,’ someone else joined in. ‘It’s inhuman locking people up in a place like this. They should have done away with it years ago.’
‘My husband’s in the newer unit,’ another woman informed them, ‘so it’s not too bad for him, but he says he hates coming over here for visits. Bloody nice that, innit? I comes all this way and he says he hates the visits.’
As the others laughed, Josie and Lily smiled politely, knowing better than to join in, since these exchanges often ended up turning nasty and neither of them was capable of holding their own with the type of women who came here. The male visitors weren’t much better, a mixed barrel of lowlife in the main, with a handful of
She’d watched a documentary the other night about young offenders at Aylesbury Prison and now seriously wished she hadn’t bothered. She’d hardly been able to sleep after seeing the way those tormented youths beat each other up, attacked the officers, vandalised their cells or went to terrible lengths to self-harm. One poor lad was so fixated on killing himself that he had to be constantly watched and even then they didn’t always catch him putting a noose round his neck, or slashing his wrists with the corner of a toothpaste tube. She couldn’t begin to imagine how his mother must feel, knowing he was so miserable, so devoid of hope that all he wanted was to end his life.
Maybe he didn’t have a mother, or not one that cared. It could be the whole root of the problem.
It was one of the worst parts of being a parent, she thought, as a gate finally opened in the huge blue iron doors to start letting the line through, the constant worrying over what your kids might be up to, or what you, as a parent – a mother in particular – had done to send your child down the wrong road. God knew she’d done her best with Ryan, had loved him the same way she’d loved Lily, and still did, but right through from the time he was born, a month prematurely with a tiny hole in his heart, to when he was six and nearly drowned in the sea off Temple Bay, to all the trouble they’d had with him at school, things had never seemed to go right for him. He always tried his best, but no matter how much effort he put into his lessons, or projects, or even a job after he’d turned sixteen, there had always been someone there to lead him into bad ways. He was too easily influenced was what Jeff always said, and though Josie hated to think that their son didn’t have a mind of his own, she had to admit that if he did, he didn’t always use it. She’d even wondered in her darkest moments if he was a little bit delinquent, but since none of his teachers had ever come forward with that, and nor had Jeff, she’d kept the awful suspicion to herself. After all, he wasn’t stupid, he understood the difference between right and wrong, he just didn’t always draw the line in the same place most other people would.
‘At least we’re out of that wind,’ Lily shivered, as they were ushered into a forbidding stone room with no seats or windows, just a noticeboard full of rules for visitors and a couple of security scanners. ‘It’s still like a fridge in here though,’ she grumbled, hugging her faux-fur jacket more tightly around her.
With her honeyed curls peeking out from under a blue bobble hat and her spiky dark lashes curling around her violet eyes she was as pretty as a primrose, Josie thought, and twice as precious.
‘It’s bloody cruel, if you ask me,’ a woman behind them piped up. ‘No one should have to put up with these sorts of temperatures, especially when they ain’t done nothing wrong. They could at least heat these communal areas.’
‘Too bloody mean,’ someone else joined in. ‘It’s inhuman locking people up in a place like this. They should have done away with it years ago.’
‘My husband’s in the newer unit,’ another woman informed them, ‘so it’s not too bad for him, but he says he hates coming over here for visits. Bloody nice that, innit? I comes all this way and he says he hates the visits.’
As the others laughed, Josie and Lily smiled politely, knowing better than to join in, since these exchanges often ended up turning nasty and neither of them was capable of holding their own with the type of women who came here. The male visitors weren’t much better, a mixed barrel of lowlife in the main, with a handful of
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