Read Online Never Said by Carol Lynch Williams - Free Book Online Page B

me.
    â€œWhat?” she says. “Spit it out.”
    I swallow. I’m shaking. “I can’t believe you said that to Annie, Mom.”
    She turns on the sink water. “What are you talking about?”
    â€œWe’re not royalty.”
    The water runs in the sink. Dad’s voice is a murmur in the background.
    â€œI know that.” Mom gives a ruffled laugh.
    â€œIt was mean. You were mean to her. She has a good idea that could help other people. Maybe help herself. And me.”
    â€œI don’t know what you’re talking about.” The Lifetime movie is back. The front door opens. Slams shut.
    â€œGreat,” Mom says. “Now we have to go after her, Sarah.”
    Like Annie is a bother.
    Or the second-class citizen Mom’s worried my sister will become.

annie
    These are the rules:
Be who you are
Say what you will
Live your life well
You are safe here.

annie
    Safe.
    Here.

sarah
    A nnie’s down the sidewalk, coatless, hands shoved into her pockets.
    Mom speaks from the porch. Her words puncture the night air. “I don’t want you hurt,” she says. “But . . . those kinds of people, that kind of influence . . . It’s not good for you.”
    â€œStop talking, Mom,” I say. Part of me is surprised I’ve said anything more to her. That I’ve talked back. But she doesn’t answer, so I follow Annie, leaving my coat behind too, but grabbing mittens and a scarf from the foyer table where I left them when I came in this afternoon. I pull the gloves on. Wrap the scarf around my neck.
    â€œAnnie!”
    The blast of winter hits me full in the face, makes me gasp, and I’m reminded of Garret. Maybe because I can see the lights on over there, see his car parked in his driveway.
    For two weeks, before we started dating, he took me to school.
    Annie had decided she wouldn’t finish out a term, but would home school.
    And Mom needed me to catch a ride into classes. Garret happened to be available.
    The cold bites at me, the wind pushes me back like a hand.Mom’s talking, talking, talking and then the door slams shut and I remember how Garret’d knocked on the door, walked me to the car, opened that door. Big Gulp cups. Everywhere. Front seat. Backseat too.
    â€œWhat is all this?” I had said.
    â€œMy collection,” he had answered.
    Now I can see my breath. There’s Annie, jogging in the opposite direction of my used-to-be boyfriend’s house. So much of our lives, I realize as I follow her, is used to be’s.
    I run, purposefully sliding on the ice I see, hitting as much snow as I can so I don’t fall.
    Here’s how I felt about Garret, from the beginning: I’m pretty darn neat as a rule, but I settled myself in that car, kicking the cups out of the way, without a thought.
    The memory makes me warm inside, even with tonight’s low temps. I hurry through the cold. The sidewalk is slicker than I’d thought.
    Oh, I liked him. That morning he’d popped his toothbrush in his mouth and brushed all the way to school. The car smelled minty fresh but looked like a dump.
    â€œGood dental habits?” I’d said. It took all my courage. My face caught fire.
    Garret smiled.
    I surprised myself then too. Me, shy. But his teeth were white. Did he floss? I hoped so. But I’d hoped he wouldn’t do that while we drove.
    My mouth opened before my brain had a chance to stop it. “You have a great smile.” I spoke like a real person.
    Garret glanced at me. “What was that?”
    â€œNothing,” I had said, almost stuttering.
    It wasn’t longafter that he asked me to the movies. Oh, that car! He was cute and I hadn’t minded the Big Gulp cups at all.
    I’m right behind Annie now. She must hear me because she turns, spinning. I put my hands up, like she might strike out. But she walks into my arms and we stand in the cold, shivering, freezing it seems, holding each