Read Online Nature of Ash, The by Mandy Hager - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Mandy Hager
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despite Dad’s job, but seeing this in black and white brings it right home. This past year, between my board and Grandma’s care, we’ve eaten through all Dad’s reserves. There was only nine hundred and eighty-two bucks left at the beginning of this month … minus the two hundred Dad sent me,plus Mikey’s shoes — and anything else he’s spent since then. Fuck knows where the lawyer thinks the funeral costs are coming from, but they’re sure not here. Will we have to sell the flat? Judging by these statements, I doubt I’ll have a shit-show of paying even one round of annual bills. And then there’s power, water, phone and food … oh god, and Grandma … and Jiao’s pay …
That’s it then. I’m totally screwed. I’ll have to quit uni and try to find a full-time job.
The front door bangs. I drag my sleeve over my face. Jeezus. Stop crying and harden up . I don’t know what’s wrong with me, blubbing every five minutes when I haven’t cried for years. The last thing Mikey needs is me behaving like a girl. Besides, I’m damned if I’ll let Jiao see me in this state.
She’s returned with a shabby grey suitcase and a school bag bulging with books. ‘I told them I was staying the rest of the weekend with a school friend,’ she says. ‘So long as they don’t have to feed me they won’t care for now.’ There’s an edge of bitterness in her voice.
‘You can sleep in my old room,’ I say. ‘I’ll share with the Snore-Meister.’ She looks so bloody relieved it makes me wonder where she thought I’d make her sleep. Give me a break! I’m not the kind of perv who tricks a girl into bed … well, not so blatantly. The only two times I’ve had sex I was so drunk it’s now just a sweaty blur.
While Mikey helps her stow her gear, I peel a pumpkin to make soup, hoping this will be enough to stave off Mikey’s hunger for tonight. We’ll need to eke out the little food we have until I see the lawyer, and god knows what we do after that — probably grovel to the people who’ve offered help, though even this will be only a short-term fix.
The peeling, dicing and stirring at least keeps me distracted for a while. When we sit down at the table, Jiao and Mikey dig in like starving refugees, and my own appetite kicks back in as well. Between the three of us we demolish the entire pot of soup and half a loaf of bread — not exactly holding back, but I figure we’ll need our strength to survive the next few days.
Only once the pot’s scraped clean and we’re sitting back, stalling on getting up to do the dishes, do we properly start to talk.
‘So,’ I say to Jiao, ‘tell me more about your family.’
I can see a blush bleed up her neck. ‘They emigrated from the Mainland when I was two. It cost them everything they had. They thought that once they got here they’d have a better life.’ She shakes her head, then lets out one derisive snort. ‘No such luck.’
‘What do you mean?’ Why am I even asking? I’m not Dad’s son for nothing: even though his rantings drove me mad, much of what he said has stuck.
‘They only get to stay here if they sign away their lives. They’re doing it for me. To give me what they couldn’t give me back at home.’
‘Then how old were you when they sent you down here for school?’
‘Five.’
‘You’re joking? On your own?’
‘No joke. I only get to see them twice a year — one week over Christmas and three days mid-year.’ She rubs the corner of her eye. ‘When I was little I used to cry because I missed my real mother so much. My foster-mum would beat me up. You soon learn how to hold it in.’
Mikey’s listening intently and, though I doubt heunderstands the subtleties of what she’s saying, he can read her pain. ‘Bad people. I’ll bash them.’
Jiao pats his hand but looks at me. ‘My father always says: Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves .’
‘I’d better buy a spade then,’ I say under my breath.
That’s it then. I’m totally screwed. I’ll have to quit uni and try to find a full-time job.
The front door bangs. I drag my sleeve over my face. Jeezus. Stop crying and harden up . I don’t know what’s wrong with me, blubbing every five minutes when I haven’t cried for years. The last thing Mikey needs is me behaving like a girl. Besides, I’m damned if I’ll let Jiao see me in this state.
She’s returned with a shabby grey suitcase and a school bag bulging with books. ‘I told them I was staying the rest of the weekend with a school friend,’ she says. ‘So long as they don’t have to feed me they won’t care for now.’ There’s an edge of bitterness in her voice.
‘You can sleep in my old room,’ I say. ‘I’ll share with the Snore-Meister.’ She looks so bloody relieved it makes me wonder where she thought I’d make her sleep. Give me a break! I’m not the kind of perv who tricks a girl into bed … well, not so blatantly. The only two times I’ve had sex I was so drunk it’s now just a sweaty blur.
While Mikey helps her stow her gear, I peel a pumpkin to make soup, hoping this will be enough to stave off Mikey’s hunger for tonight. We’ll need to eke out the little food we have until I see the lawyer, and god knows what we do after that — probably grovel to the people who’ve offered help, though even this will be only a short-term fix.
The peeling, dicing and stirring at least keeps me distracted for a while. When we sit down at the table, Jiao and Mikey dig in like starving refugees, and my own appetite kicks back in as well. Between the three of us we demolish the entire pot of soup and half a loaf of bread — not exactly holding back, but I figure we’ll need our strength to survive the next few days.
Only once the pot’s scraped clean and we’re sitting back, stalling on getting up to do the dishes, do we properly start to talk.
‘So,’ I say to Jiao, ‘tell me more about your family.’
I can see a blush bleed up her neck. ‘They emigrated from the Mainland when I was two. It cost them everything they had. They thought that once they got here they’d have a better life.’ She shakes her head, then lets out one derisive snort. ‘No such luck.’
‘What do you mean?’ Why am I even asking? I’m not Dad’s son for nothing: even though his rantings drove me mad, much of what he said has stuck.
‘They only get to stay here if they sign away their lives. They’re doing it for me. To give me what they couldn’t give me back at home.’
‘Then how old were you when they sent you down here for school?’
‘Five.’
‘You’re joking? On your own?’
‘No joke. I only get to see them twice a year — one week over Christmas and three days mid-year.’ She rubs the corner of her eye. ‘When I was little I used to cry because I missed my real mother so much. My foster-mum would beat me up. You soon learn how to hold it in.’
Mikey’s listening intently and, though I doubt heunderstands the subtleties of what she’s saying, he can read her pain. ‘Bad people. I’ll bash them.’
Jiao pats his hand but looks at me. ‘My father always says: Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves .’
‘I’d better buy a spade then,’ I say under my breath.
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