Read Online Natalie and the Downside-Up Birthday by Dandi Daley Mackall - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Dandi Daley Mackall
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did the hamster cross the road? Because Sasha was on this side.
Only I won’t say this answer on account of Jesus wouldn’t, not even if it was a very funny answer and people laughed, and Jesus loved people laughing. He wouldn’t say mean things, even just to make people laugh. I have a bracelet with letters that proves it and reminds me to do what Jesus would do. Even though I don’t have this bracelet on today because it’s not purple, I remember anyway.
“So what’s the end of the joke?” Peter-the-Not-So-Great demands.
Instead of using the Sasha answer, I answer, “Because its bestest friend, who goes by the name of Laurie Hamster, is on the other side already. That’s what.”
Laurie laughs her head off.
Jason makes car engine noises. Then he takes off running. “I’m crossing the road!” he screams.
Farah giggles.
Sasha makes a frowny face and says, “I don’t get it.”
Peter makes a frowny face and says, “That’s not funny.”
This turns Laurie and me into giggle boxes.
I am having a very fun time. And it’s not even my birthday.
Yet!
Chapter 3
Waiting on ’Nouncements
School goes on pretty much like regular. Only very much longer than regular. This might could be on account of I am waiting for our teacher to make a ’nouncement about how tomorrow is February 4, and we will have a birthday party for me with cupcakes.
I know this is what happens. Other kids in my very own classroom already had their birthdays. And we got ’nouncements about it and mostly cupcakes. Miss Hines makes the ’nouncement a day ahead of time so we can be excited about it all night.
But we are almost at the end of the day. And Miss Hines still hasn’t made the birthday ’nouncement. My stomach is starting to feel twitchy in a not-good way.
Like, what if the kindergarten birthday ’nouncement rule changed? And there can’t be any more birthday cupcakes in the classroom?
Or, what if Miss Hines forgot that part about the ’nouncements?
Or, maybe she doesn’t know that tomorrow isMonth Number Two and Day Number Four.
Or, what if—
“Class,” Miss Hines says in her big voice, “please be quiet. I have an announcement.”
I look two rows over to where my bestest friend, Laurie, is sitting. She is all smiley-faced back at me. Laurie knows about ’nouncements.
“Tomorrow,” Miss Hines goes on, “we’re getting a special treat. A birthday treat.”
“Yea!” Jason yells.
Other kids shout too. They don’t raise their hands, and they still don’t get in trouble.
“Not only are we getting a classroom birthday party tomorrow,” Miss Hines continues, “we’re getting two birthday parties.”
Jason and other kids yell, “Yippee!” and “Cool, dude!” and “Woo-hoo!”
Only not me.
Two birthdays?
I raise my hand, like the rule is. Only I don’t wait for Miss Hines to call on me ’cause I can’t wait. “Miss Hines, I’m only having one birthday,” I tell her.
Miss Hines smiles. “I know, Natalie. But you have a birthday buddy in our classroom.”
This is new news to me. It feels like bad news. Two four is my birthday. I never thought about sharing it. “Are you for certain sure somebody else in here has a birthday on February four?” I ask our teacher.
“Well, not exactly,” she admits.
My heart slows down its pounding. My stomach stops twitching.
“But,” Miss Hines continues, “someone else in our class has a birthday on February the fifth, the day after yours.”
I am feeling way much better not sharing my birthday. “Then we’re not birthday buddies,” I say, to help our teacher ’cause she must have been mixed up to say that.
“But since February fifth is on a Saturday, we’ll celebrate it tomorrow. And that means we get two birthday parties,” Miss Hines explains.
This is back to being not good again.
“Whose parties?” asks Jason, my bestest friend who is a boy. “Nat’s and who else?”
I am listening very hard to this answer. This is what I
Only I won’t say this answer on account of Jesus wouldn’t, not even if it was a very funny answer and people laughed, and Jesus loved people laughing. He wouldn’t say mean things, even just to make people laugh. I have a bracelet with letters that proves it and reminds me to do what Jesus would do. Even though I don’t have this bracelet on today because it’s not purple, I remember anyway.
“So what’s the end of the joke?” Peter-the-Not-So-Great demands.
Instead of using the Sasha answer, I answer, “Because its bestest friend, who goes by the name of Laurie Hamster, is on the other side already. That’s what.”
Laurie laughs her head off.
Jason makes car engine noises. Then he takes off running. “I’m crossing the road!” he screams.
Farah giggles.
Sasha makes a frowny face and says, “I don’t get it.”
Peter makes a frowny face and says, “That’s not funny.”
This turns Laurie and me into giggle boxes.
I am having a very fun time. And it’s not even my birthday.
Yet!
Chapter 3
Waiting on ’Nouncements
School goes on pretty much like regular. Only very much longer than regular. This might could be on account of I am waiting for our teacher to make a ’nouncement about how tomorrow is February 4, and we will have a birthday party for me with cupcakes.
I know this is what happens. Other kids in my very own classroom already had their birthdays. And we got ’nouncements about it and mostly cupcakes. Miss Hines makes the ’nouncement a day ahead of time so we can be excited about it all night.
But we are almost at the end of the day. And Miss Hines still hasn’t made the birthday ’nouncement. My stomach is starting to feel twitchy in a not-good way.
Like, what if the kindergarten birthday ’nouncement rule changed? And there can’t be any more birthday cupcakes in the classroom?
Or, what if Miss Hines forgot that part about the ’nouncements?
Or, maybe she doesn’t know that tomorrow isMonth Number Two and Day Number Four.
Or, what if—
“Class,” Miss Hines says in her big voice, “please be quiet. I have an announcement.”
I look two rows over to where my bestest friend, Laurie, is sitting. She is all smiley-faced back at me. Laurie knows about ’nouncements.
“Tomorrow,” Miss Hines goes on, “we’re getting a special treat. A birthday treat.”
“Yea!” Jason yells.
Other kids shout too. They don’t raise their hands, and they still don’t get in trouble.
“Not only are we getting a classroom birthday party tomorrow,” Miss Hines continues, “we’re getting two birthday parties.”
Jason and other kids yell, “Yippee!” and “Cool, dude!” and “Woo-hoo!”
Only not me.
Two birthdays?
I raise my hand, like the rule is. Only I don’t wait for Miss Hines to call on me ’cause I can’t wait. “Miss Hines, I’m only having one birthday,” I tell her.
Miss Hines smiles. “I know, Natalie. But you have a birthday buddy in our classroom.”
This is new news to me. It feels like bad news. Two four is my birthday. I never thought about sharing it. “Are you for certain sure somebody else in here has a birthday on February four?” I ask our teacher.
“Well, not exactly,” she admits.
My heart slows down its pounding. My stomach stops twitching.
“But,” Miss Hines continues, “someone else in our class has a birthday on February the fifth, the day after yours.”
I am feeling way much better not sharing my birthday. “Then we’re not birthday buddies,” I say, to help our teacher ’cause she must have been mixed up to say that.
“But since February fifth is on a Saturday, we’ll celebrate it tomorrow. And that means we get two birthday parties,” Miss Hines explains.
This is back to being not good again.
“Whose parties?” asks Jason, my bestest friend who is a boy. “Nat’s and who else?”
I am listening very hard to this answer. This is what I
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