Read Online nancy werlocks diary s02e12 by julie ann dawson - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: julie ann dawson
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enormous—”
“Focus!”
“Sorry. Right. Anyway, he met this model chick a few years back and dismissed me. Well, she says she’s a model but she’s really a waitress at a Hooters and the only modeling gigs she’s done are some lingerie stuff but one of her images did get used for the cover of some erotic novel that was self-published but sold really well so there was that.”
“Sweet Hera. It’s like talking to an oversexed version of Anastasia,” I say.
“I wasn’t going to go there,” quips Houston. “But yeah.”
“Continue,” I wave at the succubus.
“Right. Okay, so when he dismissed me I had nowhere to go and you know there is a limited window of opportunity to find a new anchor and all before we get shipped back but I met this dwarf who sells specialty ales to a lot of the guild houses and he was telling me about this kick ass club in Philly so I called Vash and she gave me an interview and hired me as a waitress so I’ve been living there ever since. But Max and his scank broke up because she left him for some jock that plays in the minors for some baseball team and she thinks he’s gonna be her meal ticket when he gets called up to the majors. And now he wants me back.”
“There are a dozen demonologists at the guild. Why are you here instead of them dealing with this?”
“Everybody at the guild is going crazy because of the whole gremlin thing. The gremlins got out into the yard during that rainstorm and…well…they all have their hands full. You should have seen the Archmage running around with a net trying to catch the little buggers. And then Gatekeeper was flipping out because some of them were chewing on the iron bars but it isn’t like they can actually hurt the fence or anything and—”
“Why…are…you…here,” I say.
“I’m sorry! Vash said not to bother you and that she would call Max and pay him off but then he started trying to summon me and it is so hard to resist because he still has my old nipple ring as a focus so I panicked and came here but you weren’t here but your apprentice was and,” she rubs Houston’s shin. “He just jumped into action, like a superhero. Only without the tights.”
Toranala’s phone rings. She pulls it out of her purse and answers it. “What did he say?” she says into the phone. “But I don’t want to go back! He doesn’t care about me! He just wants to get back at that slut.”
Houston looks at me and shrugs. I just shake my head.
Toranala sets the phone between her ear and shoulder and folds her arms. “I don’t care if he says that he wants to start making porn now. He had his chance. I even had scripts and a director lined up!”
“Did I just hear a succubus turn down the opportunity to make porn videos?” I ask.
“It’s the principle now,” says Toranala with a firm nod. “Besides, I have a career . Vash has been training me for management.” She turns her attention back to the phone conversation. “Um, well, yeah. I sort of might be at Three Wishes?” Toranala hands her phone to me, “She wants to talk to you.”
“Lady Vash,” I say as I try not to laugh too loudly into the phone.
“Madame Nancy,” she says with a heavy sigh. “I do apologize for you getting dragged into this sordid mess. I told her not to bother you with this.”
“On the bright side, my apprentice has gotten some practice with anchor rituals.”
“Good that you can find the bright side to these sorts of things. Toranala is a bit on the high maintenance side, but she’s an excellent employee and I’m just trying to help the poor thing better herself.”
“So Max couldn’t be swayed?”
“I offered him money. Told him he could just summon another succubus. But you know how men get when their pride is bruised.”
“Yeah, which is why this entire thing is so bizarre. No offense, but in his mental state shouldn’t she be actively wanting to get back to him now that he is vulnerable. I don’t mean to encourage
“Focus!”
“Sorry. Right. Anyway, he met this model chick a few years back and dismissed me. Well, she says she’s a model but she’s really a waitress at a Hooters and the only modeling gigs she’s done are some lingerie stuff but one of her images did get used for the cover of some erotic novel that was self-published but sold really well so there was that.”
“Sweet Hera. It’s like talking to an oversexed version of Anastasia,” I say.
“I wasn’t going to go there,” quips Houston. “But yeah.”
“Continue,” I wave at the succubus.
“Right. Okay, so when he dismissed me I had nowhere to go and you know there is a limited window of opportunity to find a new anchor and all before we get shipped back but I met this dwarf who sells specialty ales to a lot of the guild houses and he was telling me about this kick ass club in Philly so I called Vash and she gave me an interview and hired me as a waitress so I’ve been living there ever since. But Max and his scank broke up because she left him for some jock that plays in the minors for some baseball team and she thinks he’s gonna be her meal ticket when he gets called up to the majors. And now he wants me back.”
“There are a dozen demonologists at the guild. Why are you here instead of them dealing with this?”
“Everybody at the guild is going crazy because of the whole gremlin thing. The gremlins got out into the yard during that rainstorm and…well…they all have their hands full. You should have seen the Archmage running around with a net trying to catch the little buggers. And then Gatekeeper was flipping out because some of them were chewing on the iron bars but it isn’t like they can actually hurt the fence or anything and—”
“Why…are…you…here,” I say.
“I’m sorry! Vash said not to bother you and that she would call Max and pay him off but then he started trying to summon me and it is so hard to resist because he still has my old nipple ring as a focus so I panicked and came here but you weren’t here but your apprentice was and,” she rubs Houston’s shin. “He just jumped into action, like a superhero. Only without the tights.”
Toranala’s phone rings. She pulls it out of her purse and answers it. “What did he say?” she says into the phone. “But I don’t want to go back! He doesn’t care about me! He just wants to get back at that slut.”
Houston looks at me and shrugs. I just shake my head.
Toranala sets the phone between her ear and shoulder and folds her arms. “I don’t care if he says that he wants to start making porn now. He had his chance. I even had scripts and a director lined up!”
“Did I just hear a succubus turn down the opportunity to make porn videos?” I ask.
“It’s the principle now,” says Toranala with a firm nod. “Besides, I have a career . Vash has been training me for management.” She turns her attention back to the phone conversation. “Um, well, yeah. I sort of might be at Three Wishes?” Toranala hands her phone to me, “She wants to talk to you.”
“Lady Vash,” I say as I try not to laugh too loudly into the phone.
“Madame Nancy,” she says with a heavy sigh. “I do apologize for you getting dragged into this sordid mess. I told her not to bother you with this.”
“On the bright side, my apprentice has gotten some practice with anchor rituals.”
“Good that you can find the bright side to these sorts of things. Toranala is a bit on the high maintenance side, but she’s an excellent employee and I’m just trying to help the poor thing better herself.”
“So Max couldn’t be swayed?”
“I offered him money. Told him he could just summon another succubus. But you know how men get when their pride is bruised.”
“Yeah, which is why this entire thing is so bizarre. No offense, but in his mental state shouldn’t she be actively wanting to get back to him now that he is vulnerable. I don’t mean to encourage
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