you don’t want to,” Elijah said.
“No, I want to. Maybe I need to, even. If I don’t tell someone, I think I might go crazy.”
“I’m listening.”
“We were just sitting and watching some dumb movie. Transformers or something—maybe it was the second one. I couldn’t focus. I ate some pizza and tried to make small talk, but Jayson was being strange. Quiet. He started telling me how good I looked, how much he liked my skirt. I said thanks, tried to make a joke. I ate more pizza, thinking it would keep him from trying to kiss me. I was starting to plan excuses for leaving. And then, he put his arm over my shoulder and hugged me really, really tightly to him. I could feel how strong he was. Jayson is a big guy, and I was surprised at how hard he was holding me. I told him he was hurting me and he just laughed and said that he just liked me a lot. And then it really started. He wouldn’t let me go, and he was just holding me, kissing me a little. I didn’t want to kiss him back, but I was afraid.
So at first, I did kiss him a little bit, thinking it might slow him down. Only the exact opposite happened. He put his weight on me and pushed me back onto the couch, and then he started groping me, putting his hands all over me. Finally, I got scared and said I wanted to stop. He ignored me. I said it louder and then he got really rough. He ripped my panties off and put his fingers right into me. I was crying, telling him to stop, and he told me not to fight it…and then he eventually just stopped responding.”
She realized she was shaking violently now, as if it was happening again, this very instant.
Elijah looked slightly alarmed. “Caelyn, relax,” he said. “Relax. No one’s going to hurt you again.”
“How do you know?” she said, her voice almost a whisper.
“Because, I’ll kill anyone who tries.”
She nodded, still shaking violently. “Thank you for saying that.”
“Is it bothering you that I’m sitting so close right now?”
She looked into his eyes and shook her head. “No. I know you wouldn’t ever hurt me.”
He smiled a little, but then his smile faded. “Tell me the rest. I can take it.”
Caelyn looked away, drawing her knees up to her chest and putting her cheek against her knees. She closed her eyes. “From there, things just progressed fast. I think I might have blacked out a little bit. It crossed my mind that I might die—that Jayson was totally insane and he might kill me. His eyes weren’t normal, they were dead. He wasn’t seeing me, he didn’t care that I was crying and begging him to stop. He just kept going.
He raped me. I don’t know how long it lasted. I just know that afterward, he acted like nothing had happened. He got up and went to the bathroom and then he came back and started watching the movie again. I told him I was going and he said he would text me tomorrow. I just said fine, because I wanted more than anything to get out of that apartment and away from him.”
She heaved a deep sigh, opening her eyes again, as if coming out of a trance.
“Once I got back to my dorm room, I realized that I couldn’t stay there anymore. I didn’t want to see Jayson ever again, or even the school itself. I wanted out of Boston.”
“Why Florida?” Elijah asked.
She smiled then. “I’ll show you.” She climbed off the bed and fished the postcard out of her purse. She got back on the bed and handed it to Elijah, who saw it and grinned.
“This is cute,” he said. “But I still don’t get why you decided to go here.”
The card was a picture of a sandy white beach with a beautiful sunset. Palm trees waved in the distance. At the top edge of the card, in colorful letters, it said GREETINGS FROM BEAUTIFUL SARASOTA. She turned it over and showed him the flip side.
Hey, Alicia! Wish you were here—maybe Spring Break? Love, Mom.
“My roommate, Alicia, got this from her mother a couple of weeks ago. She couldn’t care less about it. She actually
“No, I want to. Maybe I need to, even. If I don’t tell someone, I think I might go crazy.”
“I’m listening.”
“We were just sitting and watching some dumb movie. Transformers or something—maybe it was the second one. I couldn’t focus. I ate some pizza and tried to make small talk, but Jayson was being strange. Quiet. He started telling me how good I looked, how much he liked my skirt. I said thanks, tried to make a joke. I ate more pizza, thinking it would keep him from trying to kiss me. I was starting to plan excuses for leaving. And then, he put his arm over my shoulder and hugged me really, really tightly to him. I could feel how strong he was. Jayson is a big guy, and I was surprised at how hard he was holding me. I told him he was hurting me and he just laughed and said that he just liked me a lot. And then it really started. He wouldn’t let me go, and he was just holding me, kissing me a little. I didn’t want to kiss him back, but I was afraid.
So at first, I did kiss him a little bit, thinking it might slow him down. Only the exact opposite happened. He put his weight on me and pushed me back onto the couch, and then he started groping me, putting his hands all over me. Finally, I got scared and said I wanted to stop. He ignored me. I said it louder and then he got really rough. He ripped my panties off and put his fingers right into me. I was crying, telling him to stop, and he told me not to fight it…and then he eventually just stopped responding.”
She realized she was shaking violently now, as if it was happening again, this very instant.
Elijah looked slightly alarmed. “Caelyn, relax,” he said. “Relax. No one’s going to hurt you again.”
“How do you know?” she said, her voice almost a whisper.
“Because, I’ll kill anyone who tries.”
She nodded, still shaking violently. “Thank you for saying that.”
“Is it bothering you that I’m sitting so close right now?”
She looked into his eyes and shook her head. “No. I know you wouldn’t ever hurt me.”
He smiled a little, but then his smile faded. “Tell me the rest. I can take it.”
Caelyn looked away, drawing her knees up to her chest and putting her cheek against her knees. She closed her eyes. “From there, things just progressed fast. I think I might have blacked out a little bit. It crossed my mind that I might die—that Jayson was totally insane and he might kill me. His eyes weren’t normal, they were dead. He wasn’t seeing me, he didn’t care that I was crying and begging him to stop. He just kept going.
He raped me. I don’t know how long it lasted. I just know that afterward, he acted like nothing had happened. He got up and went to the bathroom and then he came back and started watching the movie again. I told him I was going and he said he would text me tomorrow. I just said fine, because I wanted more than anything to get out of that apartment and away from him.”
She heaved a deep sigh, opening her eyes again, as if coming out of a trance.
“Once I got back to my dorm room, I realized that I couldn’t stay there anymore. I didn’t want to see Jayson ever again, or even the school itself. I wanted out of Boston.”
“Why Florida?” Elijah asked.
She smiled then. “I’ll show you.” She climbed off the bed and fished the postcard out of her purse. She got back on the bed and handed it to Elijah, who saw it and grinned.
“This is cute,” he said. “But I still don’t get why you decided to go here.”
The card was a picture of a sandy white beach with a beautiful sunset. Palm trees waved in the distance. At the top edge of the card, in colorful letters, it said GREETINGS FROM BEAUTIFUL SARASOTA. She turned it over and showed him the flip side.
Hey, Alicia! Wish you were here—maybe Spring Break? Love, Mom.
“My roommate, Alicia, got this from her mother a couple of weeks ago. She couldn’t care less about it. She actually
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