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Authors: Steve Kluger
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anybody.
T.C.:
He only sort of is. Her name is Hannah. She’s not as pretty as Alé is but she’s in the same ballpark. And she’s a social worker. Pop likes her because she likes kids.
LORI:
Ah. That’s a good sign.
T.C.:
Wait ’til you see our diorama. We already finished a third of the Mall. We’re keeping it short like you told us, so it’s only seventy-five square feet.
LORI:
Did he ask her out again?
T.C.:
Who?
LORI:
Hannah.
T.C.:
Don’t remember. But I think so.
LORI:
Seventy-five square feet?!?!
Dear Mama,
After “Casey at the Bat” rehearsals, Andy Wexler asked me to go to The Word Shop Café with him for lemon loaf cake and cappuccinos made out of hot chocolate so that we could practice some more. “I’m not very good at this yet” were the words he used to throw me off the scent—but Andy had a whole other agenda that he really needs to work into conversations a little more casually so that it doesn’t stick out like a swollen thumb that just got hammered with a snow shovel. I said, “‘The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville nine that day,’” and Andy answered with, “How did you and Augie get to be brothers?” I said, “‘The score stood four to two with just one inning more to play,’” and Andy said, “Was Augie always so funny even when he was six?” I said, “‘And so when Cooney died atfirst and Barrows did the same,’” and Andy said, “Augie wears the coolest shirts. Where does he get them?” See what I mean?
But that was only the first inning, because right after “‘But Flynn let drive a single to the wonderment of all’”/“Augie doesn’t have a girlfriend, does he?” who walked in but Alejandra and Funny Cool-Shirted Augie. They were there for a production meeting and it would have been weird not to move over and let them sit with us, so we did. But all that happened after that was different combinations of hardly-talking people who were afraid to look at each other. What we really needed was for Puck to sprinkle some of his magic dust on each one of us, even though he probably would have screwed it up again so that I fell in love with Andy while Augie and Alé were getting married. Like my life isn’t fire-wired enough already.
If I thought that Alé could at least tolerate me, I might have a shot. But I talked Lee Meyerhoff into showing me the minutes of last week’s Young Democrats Club meeting at school, and it didn’t exactly score points for my confidence. Like when I said that the National Recovery Act was the only one of FDR’s programs that didn’t work and Alé said that the National Recovery Act was the only one of FDR’s programs that
did
work and that the rest could have been used for landfill. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure she’s yanking my chain on purpose.
Everyone
knows that the National Recovery Act was bogus from the start, especially me and Alé. Does she really hate me that much??
I’ve got a plan. And Alé won’t even know what hit her. . . .
I love you,
T.C.
The Word Shop
B ROOKLINE’S F AVORITE B OOKSTORE
E-Memo From the Desk of
Phyllis Bryant
Anthony Keller, if either one of your fathers knew I was doing this, my big ass would be hung out to dry. So do
not
think it’s going to happen a second time. Reread your Constitution. This is illegal.
In the last three weeks she’s bought
Profiles in Courage, The Speeches of John F. Kennedy, JFK: The Man and the Myth, The Kennedy Wit
, and—off the topic—
America’s Concentration Camps: The World War II Internment of Japanese Americans.
That girl is too damned smart for her own good. Whatever happened to Nancy Drew?
You’d best end up marrying this one. I don’t intend to do jail time for anything less.
—Phyllis
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]
Reminder. You’re my brother and we can count on each other no matter what. So when I have a crisis and only you can help, you’ll always say yes. Have I got that in the back
T.C.:
He only sort of is. Her name is Hannah. She’s not as pretty as Alé is but she’s in the same ballpark. And she’s a social worker. Pop likes her because she likes kids.
LORI:
Ah. That’s a good sign.
T.C.:
Wait ’til you see our diorama. We already finished a third of the Mall. We’re keeping it short like you told us, so it’s only seventy-five square feet.
LORI:
Did he ask her out again?
T.C.:
Who?
LORI:
Hannah.
T.C.:
Don’t remember. But I think so.
LORI:
Seventy-five square feet?!?!
Dear Mama,
After “Casey at the Bat” rehearsals, Andy Wexler asked me to go to The Word Shop Café with him for lemon loaf cake and cappuccinos made out of hot chocolate so that we could practice some more. “I’m not very good at this yet” were the words he used to throw me off the scent—but Andy had a whole other agenda that he really needs to work into conversations a little more casually so that it doesn’t stick out like a swollen thumb that just got hammered with a snow shovel. I said, “‘The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville nine that day,’” and Andy answered with, “How did you and Augie get to be brothers?” I said, “‘The score stood four to two with just one inning more to play,’” and Andy said, “Was Augie always so funny even when he was six?” I said, “‘And so when Cooney died atfirst and Barrows did the same,’” and Andy said, “Augie wears the coolest shirts. Where does he get them?” See what I mean?
But that was only the first inning, because right after “‘But Flynn let drive a single to the wonderment of all’”/“Augie doesn’t have a girlfriend, does he?” who walked in but Alejandra and Funny Cool-Shirted Augie. They were there for a production meeting and it would have been weird not to move over and let them sit with us, so we did. But all that happened after that was different combinations of hardly-talking people who were afraid to look at each other. What we really needed was for Puck to sprinkle some of his magic dust on each one of us, even though he probably would have screwed it up again so that I fell in love with Andy while Augie and Alé were getting married. Like my life isn’t fire-wired enough already.
If I thought that Alé could at least tolerate me, I might have a shot. But I talked Lee Meyerhoff into showing me the minutes of last week’s Young Democrats Club meeting at school, and it didn’t exactly score points for my confidence. Like when I said that the National Recovery Act was the only one of FDR’s programs that didn’t work and Alé said that the National Recovery Act was the only one of FDR’s programs that
did
work and that the rest could have been used for landfill. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure she’s yanking my chain on purpose.
Everyone
knows that the National Recovery Act was bogus from the start, especially me and Alé. Does she really hate me that much??
I’ve got a plan. And Alé won’t even know what hit her. . . .
I love you,
T.C.
The Word Shop
B ROOKLINE’S F AVORITE B OOKSTORE
E-Memo From the Desk of
Phyllis Bryant
Anthony Keller, if either one of your fathers knew I was doing this, my big ass would be hung out to dry. So do
not
think it’s going to happen a second time. Reread your Constitution. This is illegal.
In the last three weeks she’s bought
Profiles in Courage, The Speeches of John F. Kennedy, JFK: The Man and the Myth, The Kennedy Wit
, and—off the topic—
America’s Concentration Camps: The World War II Internment of Japanese Americans.
That girl is too damned smart for her own good. Whatever happened to Nancy Drew?
You’d best end up marrying this one. I don’t intend to do jail time for anything less.
—Phyllis
From:[email protected]
To:[email protected]
Reminder. You’re my brother and we can count on each other no matter what. So when I have a crisis and only you can help, you’ll always say yes. Have I got that in the back
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