Read Online My Life as a Cartoonist by Janet Tashjian - Free Book Online Page A

joust until one of us wins.”
    â€œYou want to joust? What is this, medieval times?”
    â€œJousting began in Europe in the tenth century,” Billy Thompson says. “It was first—”
    â€œWill you please SHUT UP!” I yell. I grab the lacrosse stick and head to the other end of the yard. “Let’s get this over with.”
    bandana
    Everyone starts chanting “Fight, fight, fight” again, and when Stephen waves his bandana, Umberto and I race to the middle of the yard. Using his wheelchair, he’s much faster than I am. Carly’s words echo in my head, reminding me what a stupendously bad idea this is.
    Before I get a chance to raise my stick, Umberto smacks me in the knee with his. As much as I try not to react, it hurts, and I let out a short scream. I hoist the lacrosse stick above my head and get ready to hit Umberto back when a shout stops me in my tracks.
    reprimanded
    â€œDerek Fallon, put that stick down now!”
    disperse
    I’m embarrassed to be reprimanded by Ms. McCoddle, especially in front of half the school.
    â€œI didn’t even want to do this!” I say as the crowd begins to disperse. “This was all Umberto’s idea.”
    defenseless
    Umberto has magically ditched the boxing gloves as well as his own lacrosse stick. I try to visualize the scene from Ms. McCoddle’s perspective: me wielding a weapon at the defenseless new kid in a wheelchair who now wears an innocent expression.
    â€œBoth of you, principal’s office, NOW!” she says.
    I suddenly spot a crack in Umberto’s calm demeanor. He seems as upset as I am.
    â€œMs. McCoddle, please—” I begin.
    â€œWe won’t do it again,” Umberto adds.
    detention
    She spins around to face the two of us. “I’ll give you two a choice: a one week detention with me or a meeting with Principal Demetri and your parents.”
    Umberto and I answer in unison. “Detention.”
    â€œMy classroom—let’s go!”
    All I can think of is what I’m going to tell my parents when I finally get home.

You Want Us to What?
    Ms. McCoddle is still in super-serious mode as she erases the board in her room.
    cooperative
    â€œHere’s the plan: You two are going to collaborate on a project that’s due next week.”
    I start to complain but think better of it. Umberto’s back to wearing his cooperative grin. What a phony.
    â€œSince you two are interested in comics, you can come up with one together—contributing without fighting.”
    â€œI’d love to collaborate, Ms. McCoddle,” Umberto begins. “But it might be hard because Derek keeps taking all my ideas.”
    ploy
    â€œARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?” Before the sentence is out of my mouth, I realize this was just a clever ploy to get me to blow my stack in front of our teacher. I compose myself before continuing.
    â€œI think it’s a great idea. It actually sounds fun,” I say.
    When Ms. McCoddle tries to hide a smile, I realize I’ve gone too far in the other direction. “Then it’s settled. We start tomorrow. I want a note from both your parents saying they’re on board.”
    Matt and Carly are waiting for me by the school’s front entrance. I don’t bother looking behind me to see where Umberto’s gone.
    â€œDid you get in trouble?” Carly asks.
    â€œDid she make you see Demetri?” Matt adds.
    I tell them about detention, but what really makes them groan is the fact that I have to create a comic strip with Umberto as punishment.
    â€œHe doesn’t have one original idea,” Matt says. “All he does is copy your stuff.”
    Carly shakes her head, looking off into space. “I just don’t get it. Why is he picking on you? You’re such a nice kid.”
    I feel my cheeks flush at the unexpected compliment.
    automatic
    Behind Matt, I notice Umberto still inside the school lobby. The