Read Online My Epic Fairy Tale Fail by Anna Staniszewski - Free Book Online Page A

time, they didn’t look quite as eager to talk to the troll.
    He took a deep breath, and his cheeks started to go back to their original blue color. “You will have three guesses. Each time you guess incorrectly, I will grow angry and violent. I’m afraid I can’t help it. Trolls are perfectionists. Wrong answers make us quite irritable.” He sighed as if this trait were a huge burden. “If all three answers are wrong, I will rip off your limbs and eat them with my afternoon tea. Is that clear?”
    I heard Trish and Melissa let out little gasps beside me.
    â€œI guess we’ll just have to get the answers right, then,” I said. Maybe I was wrong about the goldfish thing. The troll might not look frightening, but he seemed totally serious about gobbling us up.
    The troll stuck out a monstrous blue hand. “Incidentally, my name is Irwin. I think we should be properly introduced before I suck the meat off your bones.”
    â€œUm, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Jenny.” I took the troll’s hot-dog-sized pinky in my hand and shook it. Then I introduced my friends. Melissa looked squeamish when Irwin offered her a finger, but Trish’s professional side took over and she gave him a nice, firm fingershake.
    â€œLet’s begin.” Irwin cleared his throat and held his head high, like he was about to start singing opera.
    You’ll hear me when you’re lifted up and down.
    You’ll see me when a tree you’ve wrapped your car around.
    I’m sure to growl if to me you add an “ o .”
    And if you hear me repeated, you’ve won the game show!
    The troll fell silent and took a step back, an expectant look on his blue face. I couldn’t help thinking that his rhyming skills weren’t much better than Melissa’s. But I tried not to focus on that as I started to replay the words in my head.
    â€œOh, that’s easy!” Melissa said after a second. “The answer’s a—”
    â€œNo, wait!” I cried. But it was too late.
    â€œâ€”staircase.”
    There was a long moment of silence. Then Irwin’s eyes turned red, and he let out a high-pitched shriek. “ Incorrec t !” He swung his shiny club around his head and hurled it at Melissa.
    â€œDuck!” I screamed.

Chapter Thirteen
    Melissa managed to dive out of the way just in time. The troll’s club fell to the ground with a dull thud, right in the spot where she’d been standing.
    I ran over to where she was sprawled on the ground, looking dazed. “Are you okay?”
    Melissa nodded and let me help her to her feet. “Guess my answer was wrong, huh?” she asked with a weak smile.
    I tried to laugh but was too frazzled to do anything more than cough. “Yeah, I’d say so. Next time, let’s check in with each other before shouting out answers, okay?”
    She nodded. “Sorry.” I could tell she meant it.
    â€œNo problem.” I meant it too. Well, mostly. I couldn’t blame my friends for not knowing how things worked. I’d just have to keep a closer eye on them; that was all.
    â€œPardon me,” Irwin called. “Do you wish to continue guessing or can I simply eat you now?”
    â€œWe’ll keep guessing!” I called back. Melissa, Trish, and I gathered together again. “Okay, guys, no shouting out answers,” I reminded them.
    â€œShall I repeat the riddle?” said Irwin.
    â€œYes, please, Mr. Troll,” said Trish.
    Irwin sighed and began again in a lilting voice:
    You’ll hear me when you’re lifted up and down.
    You’ll see me when a tree you’ve wrapped your car around.
    I’m sure to growl if to me you add an “ o .”
    And if you hear me repeated, you’ve won the game show!
    As I tried to think, I heard Trish mumbling the riddle to herself. Her eyes were closed in intense concentration. Since Trish was the most