Read Online Murder in a Cathedral by Ruth Dudley Edwards - Free Book Online Page B

distinctly. ‘So how was it?’
    ‘I beg your pardon,’ said Pooley. ‘Have you got the wrong number?’
    ‘It’s Jack Troutbeck, you idiot.’
    ‘Oh, fine. Good afternoon, Jack. How nice to hear from you. Where are you?’
    ‘At the other end of the bloody line is the answer, trying to communicate with you in the couple of minutes I’ve got. Is Robert with you?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘Pass him over.’
    ‘Good afternoon, Jack,’ said Amiss genially. ‘Feeling like a jolly gossip, are we?’
    ‘Stop horsing about. You and young Ellis had better apply your minds to the fact that the dean appears to be a raving lunatic. Much madder than we thought. God knows, I didn’t expect much from the Northern Irish, but there were moments when this guy made Ian Paisley seem like a papist.’
    ‘A bit seventeenth century, was he?’
    ‘Cromwell would have applauded loudly. Call me ecumenical, but I think remarks about the immorality of nuns’ men and monks’ women, not to mention whores of Babylon, are going a bit far in a High-Church cathedral in Westonbury in the mid-1990s. If I had my way, I’d sentence him to two years in a priest’s hole listening to Gregorian chant.’
    ‘Went down well with the audience?’
    ‘David nearly fainted and half the congregation walked out. You really missed something.’
    ‘So did you.’
    She ignored him. ‘However more important is that somebody – mind you, quite rightly in my opinion – seems to me to be out to get him. When he had done slavering and foaming at the mouth and left the pulpit, he ended up at the bottom of the steps on his arse: it was a delight to behold. Such was his popularity by then that the congregation uttered nary an “oh dear” but merely tittered. Nice, charitable David picked him up.’
    ‘But what makes you think somebody’s out to get him?’
    ‘Instinct. When I got back to the palace I made an excuse about having lost a valuable handkerchief and thundered back to the cathedral. Turned out all the pulpit steps were dangerously highly waxed: going up would be safe enough; going down could have been lethal if he’d fallen earlier and awkwardly.’
    ‘But that would be a crazy thing to do. It’s so obvious.’
    ‘No, it isn’t. It could easily be blamed on an absent-minded cleaner too cowardly to own up. Anyway, that’s what I think. Now chew it over. I’m off.’ The telephone went dead.
    Amiss looked at Pooley. ‘Did you hear that?’
    ‘Of course.’
    ‘Old girl’s getting a bit fanciful.’
    ‘You don’t expect me to agree.’
    ‘Oh, of course. Sorry. What a thing to say to Mr Fanciful himself.’
    ‘You have to admit your dean seems to be a bluebottle in the Westonbury ointment.’
    ‘Why don’t you come down and snoop around with me? Didn’t you say you were taking a fortnight’s leave in a week or so?’
    ‘Ah, yes, but I have things to do. I’ve been earmarking this fortnight for a long time to sort out things domestically. Now that I’ve bought this house I can bring more books and furniture from home: there’s a lot to be done. Then I’m having a week walking in the Highlands.’
    ‘Alone or in company?’
    ‘Alone. I get enough company at work.’
    ‘Sounds perfectly foul to me,’ said Amiss. ‘Boring domestic claptrap followed by getting wet and cold and tired.’
    Pooley smiled gently. ‘We are not compatible in all respects, you know.’
    ‘Too right. I’ll go and open another bottle.’
    The telephone rang as Amiss reached the kitchen. ‘Hello. Ellis… Oh, right, Jack. I’ll tell him.’
    He put the phone down. ‘Robert. Jack says you’d better get back fast. She’ll be leaving shortly and reckons Plutarch will be fully conscious in a few hours.’
    ‘Oh, God, no. I’d forgotten she was to deliver her.’ He looked at his watch. ‘I must run if I’m going to catch the four-thirty.’
    He grabbed his coat. Thanks for everything. And remember, if you change your mind, you’ll be welcome to visit.