pair of davits that could pick up each rubberized craft and swing it out over the water.
It wasn’t hard to isolate the right lifeboat. It was the one with the cover unfastened from its grommets but laid perfectly back in place. It was also the one that was moaning, emitting a steady low hum of anxiety, almost like a sound machine.
“Adrian?” I pulled back the cover and there he was, lying faceup and frozen like a corpse in a coffin, perfectly centered on one of his favorite blankets from home. He was still dressed in his orange life vest. “Are you okay, Adrian? Are you seasick?”
“Seasick?” He thought about it. “No, I don’t get seasick. Do you think I should?”
“No. Don’t even think about it.” Why did I bring that up? “I just wondered what you were doing here.”
“Trying to survive,” he said, still not moving. “Natalie, I thought I could do this. But the ship and the ocean and all the people. People are everywhere. It’s like China.”
“Adrian, you can’t hide out in a lifeboat. You can’t.”
“Why not? It’s safe. It’s clean. And when the ship does decide to sink, I’ll be the first one in.”
“I’m going to get you off the ship tomorrow,” I said. “Promise.”
That’s all it took for him to sit up and smile. Then he frowned. “Okay, what’s the catch?”
“There’s no catch.”
I sat down on the edge of his lifeboat and explained the plan, about Catalina and Ellen and a quick plane ride back to the safety of his protective Pine Street apartment. He wasn’t too wild about the plane ride, but the rest of it must have sounded pretty good.
“You’re going to talk to Ellen and have her come for me? Great.” His expression turned embarrassed. “Ellen might be surprised to hear I’m gone.”
“Wait,” I said. “You didn’t tell your girlfriend you were leaving town?”
“I thought she might slip up and tell you. It was a very hush-hush operation.”
“Fine,” I sighed. “I’ll straighten it out with Ellen. But you have to promise to go back to your cabin. Darby’s not so bad. All you have to do is make it through the night.”
Monk agreed to take care of himself, to try to put up with Darby, and, most important in my mind, not to sleep in the lifeboat. Just to make sure, I helped get him and his blanket safely out, then spat in the bottom of the rubberized boat. Not a big spit. Not a loogie. But any spit was enough.
“Ugh,” Monk said, and threw his hands over his eyes. “What did you do that for?”
“To make sure you keep your word. And I’m going to spit in at least two more lifeboats. At random. Just to make sure.”
“You would never do something so disgusting.”
“You want to bet your hygiene on that, buddy?”
“Natalie, you don’t know what you’re doing. Now I’ll never be able to abandon ship.”
“Good,” I said. “Meanwhile, I have dinner to eat and some schmoozing to do. See you in the morning.”
This was my version of tough love, although in any other world, it wouldn’t seem so tough. My partner was on a cruise ship with a full, friendly staff to take care of him. He could survive.
Back in my cabin, I brushed my teeth and hair and changed for my evening of dining and forced smiles. Then I put in a ship-to-shore call to Ellen Morse. It would be expensive but worth every cent.
“He’s where?” Ellen said, sounding more upset than surprised.
“On a cruise ship with me,” I said. “I’d love to explain every charming detail, but I’m being charged by the second, and I’ve had only two small glasses of wine.”
“I was just about to go over to his place and cook him dinner,” she said. “Meat loaf and peas and pound cake. He knew I was coming. He insisted on the menu.”
“Sorry. That was all part of his hush-hush operation.”
“Unbelievable.”
By the end of the one-minute-fifty-two-second call, Ellen had agreed to grab the first flight down to Catalina Island tomorrow and take full custody.
It wasn’t hard to isolate the right lifeboat. It was the one with the cover unfastened from its grommets but laid perfectly back in place. It was also the one that was moaning, emitting a steady low hum of anxiety, almost like a sound machine.
“Adrian?” I pulled back the cover and there he was, lying faceup and frozen like a corpse in a coffin, perfectly centered on one of his favorite blankets from home. He was still dressed in his orange life vest. “Are you okay, Adrian? Are you seasick?”
“Seasick?” He thought about it. “No, I don’t get seasick. Do you think I should?”
“No. Don’t even think about it.” Why did I bring that up? “I just wondered what you were doing here.”
“Trying to survive,” he said, still not moving. “Natalie, I thought I could do this. But the ship and the ocean and all the people. People are everywhere. It’s like China.”
“Adrian, you can’t hide out in a lifeboat. You can’t.”
“Why not? It’s safe. It’s clean. And when the ship does decide to sink, I’ll be the first one in.”
“I’m going to get you off the ship tomorrow,” I said. “Promise.”
That’s all it took for him to sit up and smile. Then he frowned. “Okay, what’s the catch?”
“There’s no catch.”
I sat down on the edge of his lifeboat and explained the plan, about Catalina and Ellen and a quick plane ride back to the safety of his protective Pine Street apartment. He wasn’t too wild about the plane ride, but the rest of it must have sounded pretty good.
“You’re going to talk to Ellen and have her come for me? Great.” His expression turned embarrassed. “Ellen might be surprised to hear I’m gone.”
“Wait,” I said. “You didn’t tell your girlfriend you were leaving town?”
“I thought she might slip up and tell you. It was a very hush-hush operation.”
“Fine,” I sighed. “I’ll straighten it out with Ellen. But you have to promise to go back to your cabin. Darby’s not so bad. All you have to do is make it through the night.”
Monk agreed to take care of himself, to try to put up with Darby, and, most important in my mind, not to sleep in the lifeboat. Just to make sure, I helped get him and his blanket safely out, then spat in the bottom of the rubberized boat. Not a big spit. Not a loogie. But any spit was enough.
“Ugh,” Monk said, and threw his hands over his eyes. “What did you do that for?”
“To make sure you keep your word. And I’m going to spit in at least two more lifeboats. At random. Just to make sure.”
“You would never do something so disgusting.”
“You want to bet your hygiene on that, buddy?”
“Natalie, you don’t know what you’re doing. Now I’ll never be able to abandon ship.”
“Good,” I said. “Meanwhile, I have dinner to eat and some schmoozing to do. See you in the morning.”
This was my version of tough love, although in any other world, it wouldn’t seem so tough. My partner was on a cruise ship with a full, friendly staff to take care of him. He could survive.
Back in my cabin, I brushed my teeth and hair and changed for my evening of dining and forced smiles. Then I put in a ship-to-shore call to Ellen Morse. It would be expensive but worth every cent.
“He’s where?” Ellen said, sounding more upset than surprised.
“On a cruise ship with me,” I said. “I’d love to explain every charming detail, but I’m being charged by the second, and I’ve had only two small glasses of wine.”
“I was just about to go over to his place and cook him dinner,” she said. “Meat loaf and peas and pound cake. He knew I was coming. He insisted on the menu.”
“Sorry. That was all part of his hush-hush operation.”
“Unbelievable.”
By the end of the one-minute-fifty-two-second call, Ellen had agreed to grab the first flight down to Catalina Island tomorrow and take full custody.
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