Read Online Mother Puncher by Gina Ranalli - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Gina Ranalli
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her lips and looked away. “No. Not yet.”
“Do you know anyone staying in the hospital? Anyone who works here? Come on—what’s the story?”
“Funny you should phrase it that way,” she said, looking directly into his eyes again.
“What way? What are you talking about?”
Reaching into a back pocket, she pulled out a man’s wallet and removed a card from it. Wordlessly, she handed the card to Ed, who accepted it, glanced down and then back up again. “What the fuck is this?”
“Are you an idiot?” she asked snidely. “It’s a card.”
“I can see it’s a card. What’s it for?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I should have known Mother Punchers are illiterate as well as inhumane.”
“It says ‘Tea Leaves.’ What the fuck is that? A tea house or something? Because if you haven’t noticed, I’m a coffee man.”
“It’s me . And it’s Tee-Uh . Not tea.”
“Your name is Tea Leaves?”
“TEE UH!” she barked.
“Oh, sorry. Your name is TEE-UH Leaves?” He burst out laughing and she snatched the card back.
“You’re a real asshole, you know that?” Tea asked.
Still laughing, he said, “So I’ve been told.”
She stood there impatiently, waiting for his amusement to subside. When it became apparent that it wasn’t going to, she said, “I’m here to do an expose.”
Immediately, he stopped laughing. “What?”
“You heard me. Or are you deaf as well as dumb?”
“The PC term is mute .”
“Whatever. I came here undercover, to see what I could find out about the cruel and unusual practices of this hospital.”
Ed made a face at her. “What the hell are you talking about? Everything we do here is by the book. Maybe you’re thinking of some other hospital.”
“I guess maybe I should rephrase then. The cruel and unusual practices of the United States Government.”
“Oh,” he said, understanding clearing his face. “You’re one of those .”
Tea rolled her pretty blue eyes at him. “I don’t know what one of those is in your book but considering the source, I’ll take it as a compliment.”
He wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he drank more coffee.
“Why don’t you let me interview you?” she suggested, her tone suddenly friendly.
Ed was so surprised, he almost spit coffee in her face. Choking, he said, “No way. Uh-uh. Absolutely not.”
“Why not? What do you have to hide?”
“Nothing! Listen, I think you’d better leave now, Miss Leaves.” The reality of what he’d said got him cracking up again.
“You’re very immature,” she told him. “How old are you anyway?”
“Old enough to be your daddy, I’m betting. And thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“There’s no way you’re old enough to be my father.”
“No? How old are you?”
“I asked you first.”
“Forty,” he said straight-faced.
“Well, maybe you are old enough, but barely. I’m twenty-two.”
“And dressed like a fucking clown. A guy clown. What’s up with that?”
“I’ll answer all your questions if you answer mine.”
He considered it for a moment before coming to his senses. “Ok, that’s it. Like I said, it’s time for you to…uh…vacate the premises. Let’s go.” Ed took her by the arm and began to gently lead her towards the elevator.
“Are you aware that there is a riot going on outside?” she asked.
“So?”
“ So …it’s dangerous out there. Do you want me to be burned at the stake or what? Would that satisfy your blood lust?”
“My blood lu—? Hey! Now you’re just being insulting.”
“Ya think?” She yanked her arm out of his grasp. “I am not going out there with those rabid animals foaming at the mouth for a
“Do you know anyone staying in the hospital? Anyone who works here? Come on—what’s the story?”
“Funny you should phrase it that way,” she said, looking directly into his eyes again.
“What way? What are you talking about?”
Reaching into a back pocket, she pulled out a man’s wallet and removed a card from it. Wordlessly, she handed the card to Ed, who accepted it, glanced down and then back up again. “What the fuck is this?”
“Are you an idiot?” she asked snidely. “It’s a card.”
“I can see it’s a card. What’s it for?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I should have known Mother Punchers are illiterate as well as inhumane.”
“It says ‘Tea Leaves.’ What the fuck is that? A tea house or something? Because if you haven’t noticed, I’m a coffee man.”
“It’s me . And it’s Tee-Uh . Not tea.”
“Your name is Tea Leaves?”
“TEE UH!” she barked.
“Oh, sorry. Your name is TEE-UH Leaves?” He burst out laughing and she snatched the card back.
“You’re a real asshole, you know that?” Tea asked.
Still laughing, he said, “So I’ve been told.”
She stood there impatiently, waiting for his amusement to subside. When it became apparent that it wasn’t going to, she said, “I’m here to do an expose.”
Immediately, he stopped laughing. “What?”
“You heard me. Or are you deaf as well as dumb?”
“The PC term is mute .”
“Whatever. I came here undercover, to see what I could find out about the cruel and unusual practices of this hospital.”
Ed made a face at her. “What the hell are you talking about? Everything we do here is by the book. Maybe you’re thinking of some other hospital.”
“I guess maybe I should rephrase then. The cruel and unusual practices of the United States Government.”
“Oh,” he said, understanding clearing his face. “You’re one of those .”
Tea rolled her pretty blue eyes at him. “I don’t know what one of those is in your book but considering the source, I’ll take it as a compliment.”
He wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he drank more coffee.
“Why don’t you let me interview you?” she suggested, her tone suddenly friendly.
Ed was so surprised, he almost spit coffee in her face. Choking, he said, “No way. Uh-uh. Absolutely not.”
“Why not? What do you have to hide?”
“Nothing! Listen, I think you’d better leave now, Miss Leaves.” The reality of what he’d said got him cracking up again.
“You’re very immature,” she told him. “How old are you anyway?”
“Old enough to be your daddy, I’m betting. And thank you. I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“There’s no way you’re old enough to be my father.”
“No? How old are you?”
“I asked you first.”
“Forty,” he said straight-faced.
“Well, maybe you are old enough, but barely. I’m twenty-two.”
“And dressed like a fucking clown. A guy clown. What’s up with that?”
“I’ll answer all your questions if you answer mine.”
He considered it for a moment before coming to his senses. “Ok, that’s it. Like I said, it’s time for you to…uh…vacate the premises. Let’s go.” Ed took her by the arm and began to gently lead her towards the elevator.
“Are you aware that there is a riot going on outside?” she asked.
“So?”
“ So …it’s dangerous out there. Do you want me to be burned at the stake or what? Would that satisfy your blood lust?”
“My blood lu—? Hey! Now you’re just being insulting.”
“Ya think?” She yanked her arm out of his grasp. “I am not going out there with those rabid animals foaming at the mouth for a
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