couldn’t. Not yet.
Not when everything was still so raw and fresh.
I think I just need time , I said softly. Time to understand what I really want .
Time to gain the courage to go after it.
Maybe you also need to talk to someone who has been through what you’ve been through , he said. How long has it been since you’ve talked to Ben?
Once upon a time, he would have seen Ben as a threat, but after everything we’d been through of late, I think Quinn finally understood just how secure he was in my world. It didn’t matter if the moon heat drove me into the arms of another—it hadn’t anytime recently, and certainly never with Ben—because for a wolf, sex was a physical thing, a need as deep and driving as Quinn’s need for blood, and it did not affect the heart or mind. The possessive, controlling part of him had finally given way to understanding.
In return, I gave him my all. Or as much of me as there was left to give.
I talk to Ben all the time . And he did understand, because he’d lost his soul mate and had come out the other end.
But maybe that was also the problem. He’d coped. I really wasn’t.
I think you need to go talk to him again . Quinn paused. You need to talk to someone .
I closed my eyes. The pain behind that statement was easy to hear. I’m sorry, love. I don’t mean—
I know . He cut me off gently. And I know I told you in the past that I didn’t want to know about you and Kye. But you need to release the pain of it, Riley, or it’s going to eat you up and destroy you .
I know . I took a deep, shuddery breath. I’ll arrange another meeting with Ben .
And after that, maybe, finally, I could find a way to talk to Quinn. To open up about the pain and the hurt that still festered inside.
Though he sensed that hurt. He was too attuned to me now not to.
I need to report the kill to Jack , I said eventually. Whether we’ll meet for lunch or dinner very much depends on what he wants me to do next .
I’m here at the office all day, so just call when you’re ready .
I will . I paused, then added softly, Love you .
He smiled. It came down the link between us like sunshine through rain, all warm and glittery.
And you are my world, and everything that means anything to me , he replied. Remember that, when the demons start getting the better of you .
Tears stung my eyes and I blinked them away. I must have done something right if fate had left this man in my life.
I sent him a mental kiss, then closed down the link between us. My gaze fell on Surrey and, with another sigh, I dug my phone out of my pocket. Humans often got surprised that things like phones could come through the change with us. To be honest, I really couldn’t explain it myself. But the things we wore—on our bodies and in our pockets—were looked after by the magic, in much the same way as our clothes were. The things we carried—like handbags—weren’t. Where it all actually went when we were in our alternate shapes I had no idea—and, really, I preferred not to know.
I hit the record button, ignored the fact that my hands were still shaking, and propped the phone in position.
“The victim’s name is Hank Surrey,” I said, moving around to the other side of his body so I wouldn’t obstruct the recording. “One shot was fired to the middle of his forehead, resulting in a clean kill.”
I didn’t bother adding that I’d fired in self-defense. It wasn’t really relevant in this case, and Jack didn’t care anyway.
I reached into Surrey’s pockets and began pulling items out. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t be me doing this but Cole. But given that Surrey wasn’t actually responsible for the killing, we needed to find some answers fast.
Or rather, I needed to find the answers fast.
“Handkerchief and three-fifty in coins found in left front pocket of jeans.” I dumped those back, then moved to the right side. “Wallet found in right side pocket.”
It contained about forty dollars
Not when everything was still so raw and fresh.
I think I just need time , I said softly. Time to understand what I really want .
Time to gain the courage to go after it.
Maybe you also need to talk to someone who has been through what you’ve been through , he said. How long has it been since you’ve talked to Ben?
Once upon a time, he would have seen Ben as a threat, but after everything we’d been through of late, I think Quinn finally understood just how secure he was in my world. It didn’t matter if the moon heat drove me into the arms of another—it hadn’t anytime recently, and certainly never with Ben—because for a wolf, sex was a physical thing, a need as deep and driving as Quinn’s need for blood, and it did not affect the heart or mind. The possessive, controlling part of him had finally given way to understanding.
In return, I gave him my all. Or as much of me as there was left to give.
I talk to Ben all the time . And he did understand, because he’d lost his soul mate and had come out the other end.
But maybe that was also the problem. He’d coped. I really wasn’t.
I think you need to go talk to him again . Quinn paused. You need to talk to someone .
I closed my eyes. The pain behind that statement was easy to hear. I’m sorry, love. I don’t mean—
I know . He cut me off gently. And I know I told you in the past that I didn’t want to know about you and Kye. But you need to release the pain of it, Riley, or it’s going to eat you up and destroy you .
I know . I took a deep, shuddery breath. I’ll arrange another meeting with Ben .
And after that, maybe, finally, I could find a way to talk to Quinn. To open up about the pain and the hurt that still festered inside.
Though he sensed that hurt. He was too attuned to me now not to.
I need to report the kill to Jack , I said eventually. Whether we’ll meet for lunch or dinner very much depends on what he wants me to do next .
I’m here at the office all day, so just call when you’re ready .
I will . I paused, then added softly, Love you .
He smiled. It came down the link between us like sunshine through rain, all warm and glittery.
And you are my world, and everything that means anything to me , he replied. Remember that, when the demons start getting the better of you .
Tears stung my eyes and I blinked them away. I must have done something right if fate had left this man in my life.
I sent him a mental kiss, then closed down the link between us. My gaze fell on Surrey and, with another sigh, I dug my phone out of my pocket. Humans often got surprised that things like phones could come through the change with us. To be honest, I really couldn’t explain it myself. But the things we wore—on our bodies and in our pockets—were looked after by the magic, in much the same way as our clothes were. The things we carried—like handbags—weren’t. Where it all actually went when we were in our alternate shapes I had no idea—and, really, I preferred not to know.
I hit the record button, ignored the fact that my hands were still shaking, and propped the phone in position.
“The victim’s name is Hank Surrey,” I said, moving around to the other side of his body so I wouldn’t obstruct the recording. “One shot was fired to the middle of his forehead, resulting in a clean kill.”
I didn’t bother adding that I’d fired in self-defense. It wasn’t really relevant in this case, and Jack didn’t care anyway.
I reached into Surrey’s pockets and began pulling items out. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t be me doing this but Cole. But given that Surrey wasn’t actually responsible for the killing, we needed to find some answers fast.
Or rather, I needed to find the answers fast.
“Handkerchief and three-fifty in coins found in left front pocket of jeans.” I dumped those back, then moved to the right side. “Wallet found in right side pocket.”
It contained about forty dollars
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